Least Common Denominator Pt. 2

In Part 1 of the Lowest or Least Common Denominator (abbreviated LCD) I shared some very basic information about the mathematical principals of fractions and the necessity to find an LCD when using fractions that have uncommon denominators (e.g. ½ + ¼ = __).  If you attempt to solve this equation, any answer used to fill in the blank will be wrong because it is against mathematical law to add or subtract two or more uncommon fractions.  End of discussion, put a period in that ‘thang’ and start a new book.  You cannot go backwards, to the left, right or forward until you do the necessary work.  It’s impossible because you will be wrong every cotton pickin’ time you try.  PAY ATTENTION.  Listen at me!!!   :)

At best, you will be stuck until you find the equation’s LCD.  The challenge with being stuck is that it opens the door for impatience which can lead to frustration which prevents us from thinking logically.  I believe that frustration is designed to distract us from discovering the answers within.  Frustration can open the door for us to think with our emotions which pave the way for the brothers: Shudda Cudda Wudda; Ms. This, Ms. That and her sister, Other.  They’re all good at telling you about all the Other things that Cudda happened if you Wudda done This or That.  If you’re not careful, Shudda, the shrewdest of them all, will lure you into the trap of accusation and blame for what you Shudda done, because had you done it, this DRAMA (dreading reality and manipulating actuality) Cudda and Wudda been avoided altogether. 

Tania Not Tanya nugget:  Lord knows there are times that all those jokers: Shudda, Cudda, Wudda, This, That and Other show up unannounced ready to party.  First of all, I don’t party, at least not like that.  However, every now and again they catch me off guard when I’m tired, frustrated, distracted, etc.  But to make matters worse, they will show up with extras like Mother Doubtfiya, who is as smooth and subtle as organic molasses.  You know the super dark kind that’s extra thick and takes about 5 minutes to pour.  Yes, that kind.  Not too long ago they showed up and causing me to wonder about some choices I made over the last three decades.  Mother skillfully tried to get me to believe her sweet accusations but I quickly realized I had to avoid those sweet seductions or I would end up trapped in her sticky darkness if I allowed my mind to replay events in my life that I cannot change.  Not only would this create DRAMA (dreading reality and manipulating actuality) for me but it would impact those around me who may be innocent.  I had to stop and decide whether to avoid Mother’s molasses they only way I could make them leave was to call for Praise and Worship to rescue me and they all ran off.  LOL!1 Listen, we must avoid self-imposed and externally motivated DRAMA at all costs or we may find ourselves in the pit of despair, depression and/or bitterness with no escape.

This is a great Segway to the heart of my topic.  Do you remember Jack and Jill?  No, not the nursery rhyme.  The Christian couple (from Part 1) who have three children whom they are trying to co-parent.  I say trying because they are experiencing major challenges; not because they are abusive, neglectful, economically or educationally challenged.  They’re struggling because they’re stuck.  Stuck in blame, anger, resentment, etc. and neither of them will take responsibility for the role they played in their failed relationship.  Sadly, they’re both too stubborn to cooperate because they’re both ALWAYS right even when they’re wrong as two left shoes and counseling (spiritual or professional) is beneath them.  In addition to being stuck they are clueless as to the negative impact their stuck-ness has on their children.  The level of toxicity these two fire baptized, born again, foot stompin’, bible thumpin saints have created is deadly, not just for them, but for their children who are helpless. 

Before you read any further, you may want to get your proverbial steel toe boots and lace them up good and tight because I’m gonna stomp on some toes.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Now let’s get back to Jack and Jill.  Their relationship may appear to be hopeless, but it’s not.  I don’t say that because they are Believers who can call on God.  They can call on God all they want but if they are not willing to do the work, it won’t mean a hill of beans.  My definition of the work necessary is: 

• Solving the equation (defined as: the act of equating or making equal; equalization).  They need to realize there is no less or greater than in this equation, they are both equal as co-parents.  Unless, of course, the court has deemed something differently.
• Identifying the Least Common Denominator.  The LCD is the least common multiple of the denominators of a fraction.  I know this may sound like a stretch but bear with me. 

In my sanctified imagination, Jack is denominator A and Jill is denominator B as they are both two separate people who used to be one.  At the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Because of this, a man should leave his father and mother and be joined together with his wife, and the two will be one flesh.  So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, humans must not pull apart what God has put together.” Mark 10:6-9 (GNT).  They made the choice to pull apart what God put together and in so doing created a fraction of a family.  Part A (Jack) lives/operates in one location with multiple sets of challenges, values, morals, etc. and Part B (Jill) the complete opposite with all her DRAMA (dreading reality and manipulating actuality).  Nothing about these denominators is equal anymore, however, their three children will forever be connected to this equation in the role as numerators split evenly between the two unequal denominators.  

The only way to identify the LCD is for at least one parent to become selfless, put their emotions, feelings, expectations, frustrations, etc. to the side and take a solution oriented stance by discovering the root of the DRAMA.  It’s not co-parenting at all, it’s just surfacing through the co-parenting.  The root is may be unresolved feelings they have towards each other.  Who am I talking to????  Until and unless they begin the painful work of peeling back the inner layers they will never get it right.  However, with the right motivation the LCD can be identified.  Without prophesying, speaking in tongues and being super spiritual I can give you the answer, not just for Jack and Jill but for you too.  Ready?  You sure?  The Least Common Denominator is the child(ren).  I say least because that is how Jesus referred to the children in Luke 9:48:  ..., “Whoever welcomes this child in my name, welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me, also welcomes the one who sent me. For the one who is least among you all is the greatest.” We often refer to and treat children as though their opinions don’t matter, we count them out of major decisions so on and so forth including divorce.  So, the Least (the children) among you (the co-parents) is the Common Denominator (the common thing both parents have) that can serve as the catalyst to begin the work.  I realize it may appear to be a dirty four letter word to some people but it doesn’t negate its necessity.

Think about it.  If there were no children, there would be no need for the co-parents to interact, right?  But because they exist it’s imperative for the co-parents to use the LCD to your advantage rather than viewing it as a disadvantage.

Tania Not Tanya moment:  You might wanna tighten the laces on your boots up and through here because it’s about to get rough.

Jack and Jill are fictitious characters, let’s keep this thang one hunid. 

·       You ma’am, are not greater because you carried the baby nine months

·       You sir, are not better because you planted the seed in the mother’s womb

·       Neither of you are greater or better due to your degrees, income, intelligence, height, hue, family name or because you “say” you love for the child(ren)

Stop, stop right there.  Do you really love your children?  I mean seriously.  Do you love them enough to do the work so you can get unstuck?  Do you love them enough to behave like an adult and attempt to get along with your co-parent?  I don’t mean reconciling the marriage; if it’s over and done so be it.  Can you set your selfish prideful thoughts aside to Try to be at peace with everyone, and try to live a holy life, because no one will see the Lord without it. because … we must always aim at those things that bring peace and that help strengthen one another. Hebrews 12:14 (GNT) and Romans 14:19 (GNT) respectively.  If your life or that of your children is at risk (confirmed danger) or you have selflessly tried counseling, mediation, court system but the absent parent refuses to cooperate, I’m not talking to you.  Everyone else though is probably operating at the maturity level of a selfish kid with entitlement issues, bully inclinations, sabotage for security, delusional cause they don’t get and/or they’re afraid.  Afraid of what?  You fill in the blank.

I’m saddened by grown kids (immature adults who won’t resolve issues with another adult) that cannot get along for their children’s sake.  ESPECIALLY the foot stomping, professed prophets, apostles, bishops, tongue talking saints of the Most High who are too blessed to be stressed and highly favored.  Ma’am, for Real?  Go find a stadium and have several seats.   You make a grown-kid decision NOT to get along with your child’s absent parent.  You realize that’s a decision, right?  The exception to that rule is women that have been violated and conceived in that act; I’m not talking to you because your circumstances are different.  I’m talking to the rest of yawl that made a decision to have sexual intercourse and picked your baby’s daddy/momma.  Do I sound judgmental?  Well if the shoe fits ….  But somebody must stand up for our children who unfortunately have parents that act like grown kids. 

I know this may have felt harsh, but that’s how tough love feels sometimes.  But if you will take this tongue lashing to heart, I believe it can save your nerves, money and time in and out of the court system.  It may even assist you with the healing process necessary to begin the work in order to live your life in peace as it relates to co-parenting and raise your children in a wholly balanced and healthy atmosphere.  Anything else is unacceptable because our children deserve the best. 

Do it for the kids …

 

Tania Not Tanya

Servant Author Teacher

Least Common Denominator (LCD)

In mathematics, the Lowest or Least Common Denominator (abbreviated LCD) is the least common multiple of the denominators of a set of fractions. It simplifies adding, subtracting, and comparing fractions.  What is the Denominator?  It’s the bottom number in a fraction and shows how many equal parts the item is divided into.  For example:

What is a Common Denominator?  When the denominators of two or more fractions are the same, they have Common Denominators.  When the denominators are the same we can add or subtract easily, however, when those jokers are different, we are stuck.  I mean stuck like gorilla glue mixed with fast drying cement.  We can’t go up, down, left or right, nothing, nada, until we find the Least Common Denominator, which is the smallest of all the possible common denominators.  How do we find it?  It will take some work and persistence, especially when you first start off, but if you follow the basic principles you will find it so you can move on.

One of the first steps is determining what the two denominators have in common.  At times, it may be obvious but there may be times when it is not, that’s when you have to dig your heels in and do some work.  The more you use the principles, the easier it will become to find what you are looking for as long as you resist the temptation of becoming frustrated, angry or giving up.

Tania Not Tanya moment:  Some of you are sitting on the edge of your seat, car, bed or wherever you are right now.  I can see you in my sanctified imagination putting on your steel toe boots, buckling your seat and/or securing your wig because you know we’re about to embark on an adventure that will be full of bumps, twists and turns that may cause you to hang on for dear life, brace yourselves or grab your wig.  But, there are a few rolling your eyes, sucking your teeth, and/or wondering whether I’m going to waste your time talking about math while making you re-live the nightmares you experienced trying to learn fractions.  Well guess what, Shugga, you’re right in part, so, grab a cup of coffee or tea, clear your mind and “read on”, or not, it’s left up to you. 

Now, let’s hop back on the train so we can get to our destination.  I have a confession to make. Up until about six months ago, I would have checked out mentally too if someone was trying to get me to read about fractions.  But because I am coming to the end of my college algebra course, this stuff makes sense to me.  As I thought about the principals, believe it or not, I had a God-moment about adults who co-parent.  Huh?  Hold on, hold on.  It will make sense just bear with me.

What do I mean by co-parenting?  Wikipedia defines it as:  a parenting situation where the parents are not in a marriage, cohabitation, or romantic relationship with one another. In the United States, "co-parenting" often describes a parenting situation in which a couple separated {for whatever reason} or divorced parents take care of their children.  My addendum to this definition for urban communities could also be a couple (teenagers, adults, a combination of the two) which had sex (regardless of romance) that resulted in conception.  Because of that single act and/or regardless to whether they intended to conceive or not, an innocent child is born and at times used like a ping pong ball.  OK, I now I just lost some of you because no one really plays that game anymore.  How about a tennis ball? Now I know some rural and urban folks don’t engage in tennis, but surely you know of Serena Williams, the Queen of Tennis.  She’s the woman that has mastered the game in which she and her opponent (who almost always loses to the Queen of Tennis) whack a small ball back and forth from their home court to their opponent’s home court.  Ring any bells? 

Great now let’s go deeper.  Because there are so many different scenarios that could have resulted in conception, let’s go with a divorced couple, we’ll call them Jack and Jill.  They got married, conceived and planned to live happily ever after until the reality of life slapped them upside the head.  They believed that a divorce would solve their problems, but they have intensified somewhat.  They cannot stand each other but are forced to interact at least weekly as they share custody of their three children.  The drama associated with their relationship is somewhat mild compared to some people I know but it goes a little like this:  Neither of the parents want to listen to each other even when the suggestions are logical because they have both become bitter for far too many reasons that I care to list (just use your imagination).  They are both dating, but the people they are dating seem to be more like victims vs. significant others.  They are playing all the classic bitter divorcee games:  interrogating the children about what happens in the home of the absent parent, talking negatively about the absent parent in front of the children, Jack often uses the children as ransom when Jill is late with the child support payments, Jill takes Jack to court for everything you can think of, they are both intent on being right and in doing so don’t realize the toxic environment they are creating for their innocent children.  They blind to the emotional turmoil their children are experiencing.  For example:

• They blame Jack, Jr’s chronic stomachaches with poor eating habits
• They are both in denial about Jason and Jack, Jr.’s behavioral challenges -- that can be traced back to the divorce, and 
• They are ignoring 13 year old Jenise’s consistent bedwetting

To make matters worse, Jack and Jill confess to be Christians.  Believe it or not they worshipped at the same church until it got so ugly that Jill decided to leave.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Mother Knawuddamean walked up to Jill during praise and worship and accused of her of this, that and being a Jezebel among other things.  She even insinuated that if Jill had taken care of her husband in the bedroom, kept her mouth shut and stayed at home to take care of her children “like a good wife is supposed to do” none of this would have happened.  Now, er’body knows that Mother Knawuddamean is a little “special”, elevator does not go to the top, but she was as wrong as two left shoes and no one came to her rescue so she politely gathered her things, walked out the church and never returned. 

Tania Not Tanya moment:  I just saw God in my sanctified imagination close his eyes, let his head fall back on the headrest portion of his throne, sigh with disappointment as he uttered: “for real?  Yawl gonna cut up like that?  Umph, umph, umph.”

I hear you, Tania, that’s fine and well but what does that have to do with algebra and the Least Common Denominator.  Hold your horses, I’m getting there, but wouldn’t you know it.  I’m completely out of time, so we’ll have to pick it up again in the next few days.

Tania Not Tanya

Servant Author Teacher

http://dailyflicker.blogspot.com/

www.tanianottanya.com