Distractions

As Marcel stood in the express line of Target at 9:18pm on a Friday night he grew more and more frustrated, primarily with himself.  He hadn’t done laundry, purchased toiletries, etc. in at least two weeks but the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was that just before taking his evening shower he discovered he was out of “personables” and thus the trip to Target. He wasn’t lazy by any means but between school, work and mentoring the young bruhs at Joe Lee Gym he didn’t have time for domestic chores which were still new to him.  He snapped back into reality when the little boy behind him rammed his cart into his derriere by accident.  Thankfully the extra cushion he had back there prevented any injuries.  He completed his purchase and as he walked to his car he got a text notification from Loretta which he ignored as he thought to himself: “I don’t have time for distractions tonight.”

The next morning his internal alarm clock (God) woke him up at 5:45am, he performed his weekend hygiene routine and began his devotion.  But while praying, he got an alert right in the middle of thanking God for blessing him to overcome the lustful temptation to “hook up” with Loretta last night, as bad as he wanted to.  Wouldn’t you know it, Mia was texting at 6:00 in the morn’ting.  Man he wanted to respond, but instead heeded (half-heartedly) to the gentle whisper that he had put God on hold to acknowledge that alert.  He tried to pick up where he left off but he couldn’t.  He was frustrated with himself because he forgot to turn the phone off before he started his devotion.  He continued to pray but by this time God decided to leave because Marcel’s heart wasn’t in it, and God will not play second to anyone.  Out of frustration, he ended the prayer abruptly and didn’t even bother with reading his word because he was so distracted.  Instead he decided to hear the word through TD Jakes rebroadcast message from last Sunday. 

Capitalizing on his time he placed a load of clothes in the wash and decided to exercise on the elliptical machine in his spare bedroom.   When he picked up the phone to turn on TDJ, he saw the red indicator on his FaceBook app.  He decided to “check it real quick.”  One hour later he stood in the exact same location, completely dry and funk free!  He was spellbound by the social media bug which led him all over the internet and never even got on the elliptical, because he had been distracted all that time.  Disgusted with himself again, he picked up his phone to turn on TDJ and saw he had a missed call and 6 text messages from Mia.  His mind immediately went to “that night, baabbbyyy listen here”; the one he had worked hard to forget for the last 10 months.  As bad as he wanted to respond, he decided not to, pressed PLAY, turned up the volume on TDJ and practically tore that elliptical up trying to get Mia out of his mind.  Sixty minutes later he was dripping wet and was focused again.  He grabbed his towel, dried off, transferred the clothes from the wash to the dryer, added another load to the washer and decided to clean his office/gym. 

He was half way done when he realized he needed the Windex which was in the kitchen.  Upon arriving, his stomach yelled at him that it was hungry so he made a light breakfast and decided to clean the kitchen.  The last thing left was to mop, however, the mop supplies were in the laundry room.  He returned to the laundry room, removed the clothes from the dryer, transferred the freshly washed whites to the dryer and prepared to fold the completed load of colored underwear, but wouldn’t you know it, he discovered lint from some white tube socks that snuck in the load.  Now he had lint all over his underwear.  “Oh well” he thought to himself, “no one’s gonna see them anyway”.  He stopped the dryer, removed and cleaned the lint screen, replaced it and turned the dryer back on and then folded his linty underwear.  He took the folded items to the bedroom and put them away but rather than go back to the laundry room to retrieve the mopping supplies, he decided to change his bed linen. 

Upon stripping the linen he decided to vacuum but while doing so, he moved the bed from the wall slightly and there they were: bright as the morning son in shades of green, yellow, red, black, white and orange, his son, M2’s Legos.  They had looked everywhere for those Legos (including the bedroom) and couldn’t find them anywhere.  He stood motionless for a minute and then finally said: “God, seriously?  It seems like yesterday that I was wrestling with him, helping him with his homework, showing him how to open the door for his mother, spending Saturday mornings with him after we got our haircuts.  I miss him so much God.”  Instantly he felt the grief welling up inside but it was soon interrupted by the blaring ring tone from his phone. 

Today’s blog is about distractions.  I use that word often enough to know what it means which is the very reason I decided to define it in the dictionary:

• ·       to draw away or divert, as the mind or attention:
• ·       to disturb or trouble greatly in mind;
• ·       to provide a pleasant diversion for; amuse; entertain
• ·       to separate or divide by dissension or strife

 Can anyone identify with Marcel’s cleaning strategy other me?  I’m not quite as easily distracted but I do multi-task and go from room to room though I usually complete one before I move on to the other.  As important as it is for us to perform domestic duties, that’s not the distractions I want to focus on.  I want to look a little closer at the distractions of his spiritual life.  Similar to Marcel, if I am not strategic about my devotion, I too will get interrupted, so to avoid this, I turn all electronic devices off or put them on vibrate.  However, I have not mastered turning off my mind (that might be kind of dangerous, because how would I turn it back on?  Anyway)  It seems to me I am the most creative when it’s time for my devotion because I am flooded with thoughts (e.g. tasks to be completed, my past, present and future, etc.) that are nothing more than distractions.   

As believers, we have to be watchful of many things, including distractions.  I read a text from my Favorite Book Tuesday, which sparked this declaration.  1 John 4:18 (NASB): There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.  If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

So before you think I’m off, keep listening.  Why would fear be present in love?  Why would someone be afraid to love?  Because of a distorted view of love.  People equate love with sex.  While you can be in love and have OMAZING, guilt free sex with your legal spouse; love is not required for sex AND it can be very good EXCEPT ((outside of God’s ordained marriage) it’s illegal, filthy, nasty, ungodly, unacceptable and the worst sin we can perform against our body.  1 Corinthians 6:18 (NASB) Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the [a]immoral man sins against his own body.  What does that have to do with distractions Tania?  Holon, holon, holon.  Lastly, love doesn’t abuse, lie, steal or cheat on you, etc.  These things hurt and can cause fear, disappointment, hatred, un-forgiveness, strife, jealousy, etc. all of which is a distraction pure and simple.  I hear you, a distraction from what?  Living in and on Purpose which includes the commandment to love.  And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39 (NASB)

As I close, when we love God back with all of our heart, there is no room for fear, even if it pops up we are able to cast it down.  However, the second we give into fear, we invite distractions of a wide variety which is a strategic plan of the enemy to keep you from the Prize.

Because of his Love

Tania Not Tanya

Murder Was The Case

Josie and her baby daddy, Ram (who had been the love of her life since they were married 10 years ago) silently hoped the contents of her full belly was a girl.  Ram most certainly wanted another son but the unsettling rumors he recently heard about the governments wacked out birth control plan for low income families was running through the neighborhood like the energizer bunny on steroids.   Just as they were settling for the night, birth called and the family was blessed with a beautiful healthy baby boy.  A couple of weeks after Lil Mo was born the family’s worst nightmare manifested when they awoke to the deafening cries of women wailing at the top of their lungs.  They had never heard such pain before; the sound was piercing, deafening and heart wrenching all at the same time.  Josie pushed Ram to go find out what was happening but when he heard the sound of doors being kicked in, Po-Po cursing, shouting and what appeared to be struggling with people, he stopped dead in his tracks and quickly took the children to their “safe place”.  Before leaving the children he reminded them of the rules – this wasn’t a game, this was what they had been preparing for; Mimi was in charge; Aaron was to follow her instructions; they were both to look out for Lil Mo and to stay put until one of the parents retrieved them.  He reminded them where the secret peep hole was, which allowed them to see who was approaching without being exposed.  He prayed for their safety, hugged them and then instructed Mimi to lock the door as he put up the rest of the camouflage on the other side of it.  The room was small but it was sound proof, equipped with everything they needed and enough rations to last a week.   All those months of playing the “hide and seek” game had finally paid off. 

As they had planned, Josie stuffed her clothes with materials to make it look like she was still pregnant and got back in bed just before they heard banging on the door.  When Ram opened the door he was surprised to see Mahli, the officer that had purchased several of Josie’s pottery pieces.  Mahli told the accompanying officer to leave their presence.  Just then Josie emerged. Seeing her big round belly he didn’t bother to ask if there were any newborn male children in the house.  Ram asked what was going on and to his horror, learned that orders had been passed down to kill[i] any male-child that was an infant for reasons he himself was unsure of but it was not his job to question his superiors.  He ended their conversation abruptly, marked their door with his seal and told them their house would be safe for the rest of the night but warned that there would be another raid in the upcoming weeks.  He left their home and proceeded to raid other houses as he continued his assignment of carrying out the self-serving wishes of the powers that be.  When Ram felt it was safe he entered the safe room to discover the children sleeping peacefully, so he left them there as he and Josie prayed and created a plan to save their Lil Mo.

Let’s fast forward about 1400 years[ii].  Joe and Mary have a beautiful rambunctious toddler who is curious about everything and the talk of the town.  Even as a toddler Little BJ has an “old soul” and charismatic personality which captivates those who come in contact with him.  As Mary and Joe prepared for bed they were both still blown away about the surprise baby shower that was hosted by men of all people, there wasn’t one woman in sight.  But the gifts they received seemed to be out of this world, fit for a king.  Let’s put it this way, pampers, clothes, college or trade school would not be an issue ever.  When Joe finally did fall asleep he had another one of his troubling dreams.  It was so bad that he woke up in a cold sweat but he was very clear on what needed to be done.  He was careful not to wake Mary and BJ as he went outside and got their transportation ready.  When he returned he told Mary to get up, pack only enough food for their trip and to leave everything else behind.  Half sleep she thought she was dreaming and attempted to lay back down but when Joe grabbed her gently, held her by her shoulders, looked in her eyes and sternly said her name, “Mary”, she felt what seemed like a jolt of lightening pulsate through her body.  She got herself together, packed a travel bag and food while Joe grabbed BJ in his big muscular arms and off they went in the middle of the night. They travelled[iii] for what seemed like an eternity but finally arrived at their destination, Egypt of all places. 

Shortly after arriving news travelled from their hometown that male babies two and under had been slaughtered mercilessly for no apparent reason other than a perceived threat against the powers that be.  It was as if history was repeating itself with the deafening cries from women wailing at the top of their lungs with sounds that were piercing, deafening and heart wrenching all at the same time as mothers tried to make sense out of what made no sense at all.

Fast forward to 2015, we hear the same deafening cries from women wailing at the top of their lungs with sounds that are piercing, deafening and heart wrenching all at the same time.  Another senseless murder of a male child except there is no age range.  The killings happen so often that as a society we have almost been desensitized by them as we keep our distance until one day, its right at our front or back door.  The travesty is that it seems to be open season on black and brown boys some of which is a result of a police over-kill but the most difficult to accept is the fact that they are doing it to themselves.  The god of this age has blinded the minds of those who don’t have faith so they couldn’t see the light of the gospel that reveals Christ’s glory. Christ is the image of God.  2 Corinthians 4:4 (CEB). 

As I wrap it up I want to leave you with this thought.  My Favorite Book says: what has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.  Because of his unending faithfulness.  Ecclesiastes 1:9 (NIV).  The powers that be (aka the devil, Satan, Lucifer) have been trying to kill off man (the head of the family according to God's plan) for centuries.  Why?  I don't have all the answers but I can share this, if the head is removed, there is no covering and we get chaos instead.   

God's Joy is my Strength

Tania Not Tanya

IT'S THE LAW!!!!

It was approximately 5:35 am, I was running a tad late for my morning shift which started at 6:00 am.  We lived in San Francisco at the time, but as I navigated my way through Bayview Hunter’s Point on what were usually empty streets during that time of the morning (Pookie ‘nem had probably just gone to bed as I was heading to work) I noticed bright lights in my rear view mirror that seemed to be right on my tail.  I sped up and so did they.  This went on for several blocks. I didn’t know what to think and then ALL OF A SUDDEN I saw even more lights except these seemed to appear in mid-air and they were red.  Is it the rapture?  Awe man, it was Po-Po (aka the police).  Panic struck me like the force of a baby momma slamming the door in the face of her baby daddy because “he’s tripping” and that’s her way of getting the last word.  I didn’t panic because of the open container which held the contents of my drink; or because the officer would get contact as soon as I opened my window, but I panicked because I was being pulled over.  I wondered if I was going to get a moving violation which would be an automatic point on my driver’s license that would increase in my car insurance.  I would have to pay a costly fine and on top of that I was going to be even later for work than when I started out.  God are you serious right now?  God was like, I didn’t have anything to do with that, don’t blame me.  Can you say blank stare.

 

The officer approached my vehicle cautiously and our exchange went something like this:  Po-po: “License and registration please.”  Me (irritated): “Here”; Po-po: do you realize you ran a stop sign?” Me: “No I don’t recall running a stop sign but if I did it’s because I saw headlights on my tail and I was nervous, you know there was a recent shooting on the hill.”  Po-po:  “Why are you in such a hurry this early in the morning?”  Me:  “I’m on my way to work”. Po-po:  “Oh, well I will get you processed in a few minutes.  Me:  “No words to describe my frustration with myself.  Why isn’t he out fighting crime or harassing Pookie-Nem?”  This small still voice said: Take a breath and accept the fact that you broke the law Tania.   

 

Today I want to talk to you about the law, but first I had to decide which law I wanted to discuss:

• The Old Testament of the Bible which is referred to by scholars, preachers, deacons, etc. as the dispensation (or time period) of the law when blood sacrifices were required and the Israelites governed their lives by the 10 commandments.  Um, nope.
• The law of the “streets”?  But one of the laws is that you don’t talk about it openly with strangers, sooooooo I don’t think so.
• I thought about a discussion centered on the law of the land (our city, state, federal laws) that affect us individually and as a class of people all at the same time.  However, in my humble opinion the laws of the land can be changed at any time as long as they go through the law-making process. Just because something is voted into law or the “supreme court” justices slam down the gavel and “put their decision” into law doesn’t make it right.  The majority might rule, but they are not always right.  Paul from my Favorite Book says it best:  You say, “I am allowed to do anything” —but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.  1 Corinthians 10:23 (NLT)

 

Tania Not Tanya moment:  Here’s an example of a “majority gone wrong”:  In 1619 a Dutch businessman imported the first Africans to the U.S. and sold them privately in Jamestown, VA.  Slavery entered into law in 1654 by the “high court” of Virginia in Johnson v. Castor, ironically both of whom were black.  That law stayed in effect until the Emancipation Proclamation of 1865, only 150 years ago.  It was enacted because it was what the “people” wanted, not because it was right.  Those freedom fighters that came along to challenge the injustices of deeply imbedded racism fought for a worthwhile cause, to abolish the law that said my forefathers were only 3/5s of a human being and now everybody and their cause wants to jump on the band wagon of “we shall overcome”.  What’s my point?  A self-serving law was passed in an attempt to satisfy the insatiable appetites of a minority though it devastated a majority, many of whom continue to suffer from that selfish demonically inspired law.

 

Enough said, let’s get back on the road so we can get to the destination (the basis of my declaration) before I run out of time.  The law I want to focus on is the law of reciprocation aka sowing and reaping which is a biblical law, principal, rule.  Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop.  2 Corinthians 9:6 (NLT) The King James Version captures the essence of my BLOG:  But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. 

 

This law literally affects everyone: Believer, Agnostic, Atheist, Muslim, etc.?  What I sow (plant, invest, spend time in/with) is what is what I will get.  It’s like a boomerang, you throw it out there but it will come back.  This is not one of those conditional promises which the bible is full of e.g. But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from everything we’ve done wrong. 1 John 1:9 (CEB) -- if you do this, God will do that.  This law of sowing and reaping is a fact.   I know you’ve heard people say “Payback is a mother of sex” or “what goes around comes around” or some people call it karma because they don’t know it’s a biblical as stated above.  This law applies to both negative and positive sowing. You’ll receive the same judgment you give. Whatever you deal out will be dealt out to you.  Matthew 7:2 (CEB).  Sounds like what goes around comes around to me.

 

Don’t believe me.  Ok, if I eat supersize meals at McDonald’s 5 days per week over a period of time, let’s say four to six months whether I supersize them or not, I can guarantee you that I am going to gain weight and create unnecessary health challenges for myself, PERIOD, pass me the recycle bin, I’m done.  But you don’t have to take my word for it.  Let’s look at my Favorite Book:

 

Giving:  Give, and it will be given to you. A good portion—packed down, firmly shaken, and overflowing—will fall into your lap. The portion you give will determine the portion you receive in return.” Luke 6:38 (CEB).  We are encouraged to give (release) our resources (time, money, talent, etc.) so that God can blow our minds with some above and beyond type of blessings, not because he needs the little money he blessed you with in the first place.  However, if you’re stingy, you steal from God regularly because you can “bless” yourself, meet your own needs, the joke is on you, boo.

 

Friendship:  A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:  Proverbs 18:24a (KJV).  If the majority of your communication is to criticize and/or complain, you’re nice nasty or mean as the devil, controlling, inflexible, opinionated, full of yourself, always right even when you’re wrong you probably spend a lot of time alone.  Like no one wants to kick it and you can pretend you’re “a loner” all you want sweet cakes but that thang is by default, not by choice.  You’re not being friendly FIRST so you’re not attracting friends.  It’s a law, read the Proverbs text above again, you get what you give.  However, if you’re friendly, bubbly, positive, kind, open you’re going to attract people with kindred spirits.

 

Peace:  A sensitive answer turns back wrath, but an offensive word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1 (CEB) If you meet “drama” with a soft answer it is disarming to the culprit 99% of the time.  For example:  you can chose not to respond physically or verbally and it will confuse the hell they are spewing out of them.  You missed it, let me give it to you again, you can confuse the hell out of people who are ranting and raving simply by shutting up your mouth, “Hon’tee, just shut up” (in my DD Sharice voice).  However, in your silence pray and ask God for his help, but don’t close your eyes, sweetie, you look them straight in the eyes peering into their spirit with your poker face on.

 

As I prepare to close I want to leave you with my final thoughts:  The laws I referenced are not commandments, you can opt in or out but ignorance of the law doesn’t exempt you because regardless of whether the law is manmade or a spiritual you cannot escape the consequences.  You may get by for a while, but you will always pay the debt of consequence.  You know what I mean?  Of course you do, it’s the thesis of my blog.  We cannot escape cause and effect, sowing and reaping, payback, because what goes around comes around every cotton picking time.    

 

I’m out of time, but remember this, if you want something, give it.  If you want more of something, give more of it and you’ll receive it.  It may not be tomorrow or the next day but its coming hon’tee, it’s the law.

.

    

Because of his unending faithfulness

 

 

Tania Not Tanya

Permanent Press Pt. 3

In my previous declarations Permanent Press Pts. 1 and 2, we strolled down memory lane of some areas of my childhood, in particular when my mom felt I was old enough to handle the task of ironing.  There were times when I felt uncomfortable, uncertain and when I flat out didn’t want to perform the tasks, but I knew that quitting wasn’t really an option for me because my Mom had given me a directive.  Well, I take that back, I could have outright refused to obey her, but the wrath of Hazel Marie would have been swift, consistent and the whipping, I mean spanking, I mean discipline would have been administered until I yielded.

 

Tania Not Tanya moment:  My mother is not now nor has she ever been a child abuser.  She disciplined her children in love, at least she said it was love but as a child I didn’t see her choice of discipline as loving at all because it hurt (my pride and/or my backside).  However, as I got older and started my own family, I clearly understood what she meant by disciplining me in love. 

 

Needless to say, I complied even if I told her off in my mind or complained to my friends about the chores I was assigned.  I’m sure Mom knew I had an attitude sometimes, not necessarily about ironing, but as an adolescent in general trying to figure out who I was, display what I believed to be my independence.  As I think back over my adolescent years I had an attitude most of the time about … up to and including my chores, but it didn’t matter I was a walking hormone at the time like every other adolescent and I didn’t need a reason.  But my Mom used wisdom, she rewarded me with payment for certain tasks like ironing and dusting, but when “cat faces” showed up in my Dad’s handkerchiefs or shirts and/or if the legs of the dining room furniture were covered with dust after I had dusted, she brought it to my attention.  “Half-cleaning”, “half-ironing” or half anything wasn’t acceptable, it was all or nothing and there wasn’t gonna be a nothing. 

 

Let’s focus a little more on the reward portion of this blog.  I looked forward to the rewards because it meant I was going to be able to spend my hard earned cash on something I wanted  without having to ask my parents for permission (within reason as a minor).  My parents weren’t stingy at all but there were times when they (primarily my Mom) didn’t think I needed the item I so desperately wanted or I could get it but I would have to wait.  Wait for what I would think in my kid’s mind?  I didn’t take into consideration the family budget because I wasn’t aware of one.  My focus was what I wanted right then, however, there were life lessons in the scenarios above that I have shared.  For example:

 

·         I received hands-on training and mentoring for a multiplicity of tasks and I learned:  1) valuable skills that I use to this day; 2) responsibility; 3) how to create and customize processes that work for me; 4) how to implement hands-on training and mentoring with my children and their children; 5) to take pride in my work; 6) to do my best; etc.

·         My mom delegated chores that freed her to do other things;

·         The rewards come after we do the work

 

If you will recall in Permanent Press Pt. 2 I connected our spiritual lives to feeling like God has turned the iron to its highest setting, laid us on the ironing board of life, applied the hot iron to our lives and left it there so that it could seemingly scorch us thus making the trials of life feel like we are permanently pressed, perpetually stuck in the throes of life, but that is not true my brothers and sisters.

 

While I cannot compare my Mom to God, I do want to use her in this analogy to bring home a point.  Just as my mom delegated assignments to me, so does God to us as his children.  He knows our capacity and only allows assignments he knows in advance we can handle.  Why?  I don’t have the time to break it down but I can give you two points: 1) we are God’s Ambassadors (representatives) and he uses our hands, feet even resources to bless others; 2) you can’t have a testimony without a test and God needs some witnesses out here to testify of his goodness, miraculous power, etc.  The cool thing is that just as my mom rewarded me when I followed her Instructions, our God rewards us.  My Favorite Book says:  And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.  Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)  I’m not making this up.

 

What kind of rewards am I talking about?  I’m glad you asked: 

I found a gift card to my favorite store in a very heavily travelled public area.  I wanted to overlook it but something said: “see if there’s a balance” and when I did, I was presently surprised, but I gave God thanks immediately.  He knew I had a need and was able to meet it with the reward he surprised me with.  Wow, thank you Father

 

My brand new fully loaded fully paid for car that God rewarded me with for my faithfulness got sick after three years of heavy use.  I didn’t have the money to have it repaired.  I reminded God it was his car and trusted he would provide.  I suggested warranty coverage but hey, I’m flexible he can hook it up however he wants to.  Two days later the dealership called to say the car was fully covered under warranty.  God rewarded me for my faithfulness to him and Jesus dropped the charges.  And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19 (NLT)

 

God doesn’t always reward us in tangible things that we can put our hands on but he rewards us no doubt.  Good health, peaceful night’s sleep, parking space in the front, a friend inviting you to go on a trip, out to dinner to an entertainment venue, etc. completely out of the blue.

 

God uses people to accomplish his will, even rewarding us for withstanding what we may have thought was a permanent press.

 

 

    

Because of his unending faithfulness

 

 

 

 

Tania Not Tanya

Permanent Press Pt. 2

In my previous blog, Permanent Press, I shared some of my childhood memories about the domestic tasks my Mother taught me, in particular the skill of ironing at or around the age of 12.  My mom learned to be an incredible domestic engineer from her mother, Edna Franklin.  My maternal grandmother was a humble servant, excellent cook, caretaker and loved her some Jesus, baby, yes she did.  As a youngster, my mother had far more preparatory steps to take before she began the process of ironing than I did and unfortunately there were no quick solutions or shortcuts.  All of these steps required patience, something that is slowly becoming a rare fruit of the spirit for this current time period, including Believers.   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against things like this.  Galatians 5:22-23 (CEB).   As I mentioned yesterday, Mom’s preparation was as follows:

Gathering the cleaned clothes that needed to be ironed; Dissolving the ball of Argo laundry starch in water; Soaking the items to be ironed; Wringing them dry; Line drying them; Placing them in the ‘ice box’ for up to 24 hours; Cleaning the iron (which was made out of real iron); Heating the iron on the gas or potbelly stove, Sprinkling the items with water and finally ironing the clothes. 

Though my ironing preparation was not as tedious as Mom’s I too had an ironing process that I followed as I pointed out yesterday.  I timed prepping my ironing station just as the clothes were dry in order to iron them right away to eliminate extra wrinkles (as a kid but not as a working adult), Ironed the least desirable items first (most of the time) and I didn’t stop until I was done.  I didn’t have access to Argo starch, but I took full advantage of Niagra or Faultless heavy spray starch and found that damp fabric seemed to iron better.  I even had a process for ironing certain items, for example dress shirts:  I start with the collar, move to the shoulders, sleeves and then the body of the shirt.  I still follow that process.

Tania Not Tanya moment:  I have a relative that observed me ironing one day and then asked during my task why I ironed the entire shirt.  Hmmm, let me see … because it’s wrinkled?  They proceeded to tell me that they only iron the front part of the shirt because no one would could see the rest of the wrinkled shirt.  I said “oh” and then I thought to myself, ‘but what happens if you need or want to take your jacket off?’

As I fine-tuned my ironing skills, I discovered that certain fabrics were a bit more challenging to iron than others, for example:  100% cotton, linen, black or navy blue.  I never figured out how to avoid the shiny residue that was left behind on the black or navy blue items but thanks to little-big Timmy who loves to iron, I learned that using a white t-shirt on top of the dark fabric will eliminate the shiny residue.  Thanks for the tip Timothy Alexander White. 

A few weeks ago my Mom and I had a conversation about ironing.  I asked her if she thought Permanent Press clothing, wash and dryer cycles had improved the life of ironers across the nation.  In her opinion as a retired domestic engineer she said that it varied but overall it was a nice feature, however, if you don’t remove the items from the dryer promptly it was pointless.  We continued down memory lane about her ironing process as a youngster and as I probed I noticed distinctly that her “sound” changed when she spoke of the preparation as indicated above.  She spoke about the ironing process with full knowledge, expertise and confidence as she recalled those years of youthful activity.  Guiding the hot iron over the fabric was almost effortless, regardless of the fabric, because of the preparation (i.e. Argo starch and hours of cooling) which commanded the fabric to yield itself to the process which promised to produce beautifully crisp wrinkle free items.  But only if you were patient, prepared and followed the process in its entirety would you reap the reward.

I think that’s a great place to segway into the real discussion about what appears to be a permanent press cycle for many of us. What do I mean?  Well, let me ask you this:  Can anyone other than me identify with going through a situation that seems like it will never end?  How about wondering if God has forgotten you in the oven of preparation while you seem to bake mercilessly?  What about wondering why the FB’s (faking believers) and heathens around you keep a job, have credit scores of 1800 and above, vacation regularly, parent perfect children, etc. while you seem to be mocking time?  Have you ever felt like you’re spinning and spinning and spinning in the hot dryer of life and no one will open the dryer door and let you out?  I have to confess, sometimes it feels like my “press” is permanent.

We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.  In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.  And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.  2 Corinthians 1:8-10 (NLT)

What do I mean by press?  The trial of my faith.  The thing I’ve been going through now off and on since 2010.  I try to keep it together, remain positive, read the declarations that I’ve written on the mirrors in my home, say them out loud, quote my scriptures, fast, I show up every day for Victory, prepare my declarations, participate, show up for Purpose with a smile, always ready to serve and do it all over again, day after day, week after week with what appears to be no change.  But that’s a problem.  You know why?  Because I’m focused on the process, not the Promise.   Whining or complaining about the length of time isn’t going to change anything or make God speed up my process. 

When I take my eyes off the Promise, I start to ask the “why?” questions and I begin to focus on the length of time I’ve been on the ironing board of life with the iron set on hell, I mean high as it appears to scorch me.  Most of the time when I’m in that state I get the silent treatment and if I allow myself to “go there” I will slip down the slippery whining slope of despondency which is a dangerous scary place for me that I avoid at all costs.  I will do whatever is necessary to avoid that place because if I slip, I will have to start all over again and I’ve come too far to slip or lose my grip.  Sometimes I scream to God (NOT AT HIM) to remind him I’m still on the pressing board and He needs to remove the iron but He doesn’t because he can see “cat faces” that I am unaware of?  It’s imperative that I complete the process so the wrinkles can be removed because ‘cat faces” are unacceptable in God’s house too. 

As for husbands, love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. 26 He did this to make her holy by washing her in a bath of water with the word. 27 He did this to present himself with a splendid church, one without any sort of stain or wrinkle on her clothes, but rather one that is holy and blameless.  Ephesians 5:27 (CEB)

It’s in those times when I need to center myself, put my big girl panties on and remind myself of the Promise, not the process because it (the trial) is not permanent.  If I don’t know anything else, permanent press is a lie.  Our loving father will never keep us in a situation where we are down all the time.

However, I do want to warn you that just because we have God’s Promise doesn’t mean that we won’t have to fight for it and that’s where we can get hung up many times.  There is no easy way to get to promise. 

•  Joseph had to fight to keep his sanity even though his battle seemed to go from bad to worse to worser and when it appeared he had been flattened by a permanent press, God blessed him with unprecedented favor.  Genesis 37;
• Joshua and the Israelites fought their way to Promise multiple times but prior to the fight God prepared them and gave specific instruction.  Are you listening to the instructions God gives you?  If not, perhaps that’s why you feel like you’re losing.  The book of Joshua
• The woman with the issue of blood pressed through the crowd on hands and knees, she didn’t care that she broke the ritualistic traditions she was raised on or how she looked to those around her.  She could see the Promise and refused to let it get away because there was no guarantee she would get another chance.  Mark 5
• Look at Noah.  He was ridiculed by everybody for being obedient; he had to fight his way through the storm even when it appeared that the press was permanent, but he made it.  Genesis 5 and Genesis 6 

Listen hon’tee, there are no short cuts or easy processes to living a wrinkle free life like the relative I mentioned above who presses the portion of the garment that people can see.  That’s comparable to living a double standard or a hypocritical life.   We’ve got to live intentionally and we can’t be afraid to fight for our prize.  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 3:14

I’m out of time.

Because of his faithfulness

Tania Not Tanya

Permanent Press

When I was 11 or 12 years old my mom taught me how to iron properly.  She started me out on my dad’s white handkerchiefs.  My Dad is 84, he was then and still is a pastor.  It was the norm for his generation to use handkerchiefs (made of a variety of fabrics) as an accessory in the lapel pocket of their suit/sports jacket and have an extra generic “hanky” made of cotton, cotton blend less expensive fabric for a variety of purposes. The ironing process for me was relatively simple.  My mom did the laundry and set the handkerchiefs aside for me, however, she always folded them to eliminate additional wrinkles.  There was a timeline for the handkerchiefs to be completed, generally one-two days after they were laundered.  I gathered the handkerchiefs, set the ironing board up in the “den” aka family room; turned the iron on to the cotton setting; turned the television to my favorite show; removed the cork and metal sprinkler head, filled the 16 oz. glass coke bottle with water, replaced the sprinkler head, shook it over the handkerchiefs to dampen them, balled them up to help keep the pile damp; shook the can of spray starch; opened a handkerchief; sprayed it with just enough starch; listened to it crackle softly as it infiltrated the fabric and I began the ironing process which at times seemed to go on and on and on.  Each handkerchief was folded in half; then thirds; stacked in neat piles and placed in my Dad’s handkerchief drawer.  It was against the law in our household to have “cat faces” on any of the handkerchiefs.  Violating the Law of Hazel Marie Walker could result in something as little as a light fussing to as much as a drastic tongue lashing (free of cuss words obviously because we were “sanctified” at least my parents were) but regardless of the amount of tongue that was used to get me together, I most definitely had to re-do what was “half-done”. 

Tania Not Tanya moment:  I hear you, what is a cat face?  An area of the garment with remaining small wrinkles, generally the center.   I don’t know if my Mom created that phrase or if it was something she learned from her mom during her youth, but I can still hear her voice today, “make sure you don’t leave any ‘cat faces’ on those handkerchiefs.”

At any rate, my mom maintained a watchful eye over me, not to the point where it was overbearing, but she did inspect my work (which is how she discovered the ‘cat faces’).  She praised me when I did a good job and corrected me during my training process and when I was trying to take short cuts or be lazy about the task I was assigned.  Once I learned the basics I developed a system and could go through a batch of handkerchiefs with relative ease.  By this time I was getting paid for doing the work but my employer, I mean my Mom was quick to tell me she would “make me iron” with no pay if I was going to give her attitude about work she assigned to me.  That was enough to motivate me to follow through with the task I was assigned to ensure I continued to get paid. 

Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in their behavior, teaching what is good, rather than being gossips or addicted to heavy drinking. 4 That way they can mentor young women to love their husbands and children, 5 and to be sensible, morally pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, so that God’s word won’t be ridiculed.  Titus 2:3-5 (CEB)

Once mom was comfortable with my performance she added more responsibility, ironing my own clothes and ultimately ironing my dad’s dress shirts.  It goes without saying that she wanted to make sure that I had a good concept of ironing before including the additional responsibility of Dad’s dress shirts which could be very costly to replace. 

Tania Not Tanya Nugget:  I have seen countless commercials and/or television shows which depicted a person ironing with a huge brown (burnt) image of an iron (including the vent holes) on the shirt, but it never made sense to me.  Why?  Because a person would have to set the iron to ‘high’, place the iron face down on the clothing and leave it there unattended for several minutes or the setting on the iron was not appropriate for the fabric.

During a teachable moment, my mom told me that when she was a young girl her mom used a product called Argo Laundry starch to make clothing crisp.  The process was as follows:  after washing the clothes she dissolved an Argo Starch ball (the approximate size of a medium sized candy jawbreaker) in a container of water; dipped the clothing article in the container to allow the item to fully absorb the starch; wrung the item out; hung it to dry; balled it up; placed in the fridge overnight or for at least a few hours before ironing.  She used an old school iron, cleaned it off, heated it on her family’s gas stove and then began the process of ironing.  Whew, I’m tired already and I haven’t lifted a finger.  But it made me appreciate the labor of love my mom invested into her family’s laundry as well as for her own family when she married my Dad in 1950.  She proudly boasts of ironing everything: (e.g. bed linen, handkerchiefs, doilies, table cloths, etc. even my Dad’s boxers).  Is that TMI?  Oh well, it’s too late now, I done said it.

I don’t recall wishing I could iron like my Mom as I watched her iron, in fact, I don’t have any recollection of her ironing at all, though I know she did; nor do I remember waking up one day with the determination to iron.  My mother knew there were certain things that I needed to learn to equip me for life which included domestic tasks (e.g. laundry, avoiding lint, cooking, baking, setting the table, serving, sewing, cleaning, etc.) in addition to: hygiene, caring for my younger siblings, obedience, consequences for my choices, respecting my elders, etc.  As a young child I didn’t understand that she was teaching me a variety of skills that would be helpful throughout life.  I naively thought she was showing me how to do something new, which was exciting and fun initially in those first few lessons, but then I realized she had taught me how to perform a new task and it was now my new chore.  Needless to say, the excitement dissipated and I was no longer a happy camper.  Attitudes were acceptable in our home as long as she didn’t know you had one because again, Hazel Marie would get you together “real quick” as we often say in Victorville (Who-Dee-Whooooo).      

I realize this is rather abrupt and I hate to do this to you, but I’m gonna have to leave you on the cliff, right in the middle of my thought because I’m out of time.  We’ll pick it up in Part 2 I give you my word and you don't want to miss this.

Because of his permanent promises to us

Tania not Tanya