Have
you ever seen the reality show, “Biggest Loser”?
It’s an American show that’s been running for several years now. I’m SMH (shaking my head) because it is a
testament of how obsessed Americans are with fitness; even the ones that sit on
the couch with a supersized burger, seasoned fries, diet coke and a triple
scoop of ice cream for dessert :0.
Anyway, the creators thought it would be cool to turn a reality weight-loss
show into a contest and abracadabra, 18 seasons (12 years) later they’re still
on the air. Overweight individuals who
have been fully vetted (in other words they were checked out really good to
make sure they wouldn’t flake out in the middle of taping and disappear, not
because they lost so much weight we can’t see them anymore, but because it got
too tough for them and they quit). Those individuals are
paired with star trainers like Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels to help them
shed the unwanted pounds they put on.
The person who loses the most weight is dubbed the biggest loser and they win the contest.
That
is a positive use of the phrase Biggest Loser,
but can you think of some negative uses of that phrase? I can.
- Team A loses to Team B and the fans of the losing team go bananas. They want to challenge the referee, some get inebriated to dull the pain of losing, others may be disrespectful to the winning team fans to the point of violence, etc.;
- Parents of Team C lose to Team D. Some parents berate the winning team; accuse the referees of throwing the game (cheating), make snide remarks to the winners, etc. Some over enthusiastic parents antagonize their children about losing, dub them as losers, punish them for losing, etc.; or
- What about the kid who totally sucks at sports but they are trying to fit in where they can get in? They are never “picked” to be a part of anything. The supervising authority figure has to force team captains to pick them or place them on a team. When the "challenged" kid gives their best at the particular game/sport they may very well suck and lose or become so nervous and intimidated that they blow it time after time; giving the accusers (haters) additional “loser” ammunition that can be hurled against them during and after the gaming event.
Tania
Not Tanya: No shade (disrespect) to any
overweight/obese people, fanatical sports fan or parents of children who play
sports. But I am thankful that I haven’t
had any illnesses (mental or physical) that caused me to gain excessive weight;
nor have I ever been an athlete, fan or athlete’s parent tied to a specific
team to the point that I suffered adverse reactions or became violent because
“my” team lost. I know people can be
really passionate about “their” teams but may I ask a question? Is it really “your” team? Do they even know your name? Will “they – whoever they are -- put up bail
money if you bust a cap in somebody, beat someone into a coma or use some other
over-the-top form of defending “your” team?
What is accomplished by displaying this type of negative behavior? Do the referee’s E V E R
reverse their decisions based upon your antics and perception? That’s a whole
other subject that we don’t have time to discuss, but I figured I would at
least ask. May I offer a
suggestion? Take a breath people and
enjoy the “ENTERTAINMENT”.
Now,
where was I before I ran down the rabbit hole?
Oh, I now, I was talking about losers. I’ve had my share of sports team tryouts in
school and I sucked, period, end of story.
And if you’re wondering if I was one of the kids that never got picked
and I am using this venue to vent, no ma’am, no sir, not at all. Lastly, I am not a big sports fan. I grew up in a house where there wasn’t a lot
of emphasis on sports. It was neither discouraged or encouraged; so I never learned to appreciate professional
sports, though I find football entertaining.
But in 1980, I was labeled a loser. I know I’m dating myself, but that’s fine,
I’m thankful for the gray hairs I’ve earned through my life experiences, and I
write purposely with the intention of helping and/or inspiring others based on
my life story. So buckle up and let’s
talk about my loser-ship [yes it is
a word because I made it up. I have
given myself permission to do so at will because I am a writer].
Let’s
moonwalk back to March 1, 1980 when we said “I Do”. It changed our lives forever. Truth be told, I was more excited about the
wedding than I was the marriage. The
thought of planning the wedding, shopping for items, having a bridal shower and
getting presents, being treated like a princess, celebrating with my family and
friends, eating great food, cake and opening more presents, OMG more
presents, was so exciting that I barely gave the marriage any
real thought. I just assumed it would be
like my saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, COGIC (Church of God in Christ)
parents’ marriage – perfect. I mean
after all my dad worked, my mom was a stay at home mom (by their choice), we
rarely ate cold cereal (and if I did, it was because I begged her to buy the
cereal with the toys in the box), she
had dinner ready every evening, there was always a fridge full of food, my
favorite snacks, toys, clothes, whatever we needed. They never argued (literally, at least not in
front of us) and neither of them ever called each other out of their name let
alone raise a hand or fist to each other.
They had and still have pet names for each other “honey”, which as of this
writing they will have been married now for 59 years. I know, right, that's a life time with credit. My dad absolutely
adores my mother so why would my marriage be any different? I married with the intention of staying
married because that’s what COGIC couples did.
Divorce was from the devil and there was no real justification (according
to some “Saints”) that a couple could divorce. Not at all. Why? Because no
good God-fearing COGIC person would ever put themselves in a position to need a divorce. So that was the furthest thing from my
mind. Yes, sir-eee, my marriage was
gonna be perfect just because I believed it would be.
Little
did I know that less than six months after I said those magic words I would
realize that I had made a terrible mistake.
I had to face the reality that my marriage was not perfect and worst of
all, I was not in love with the man I married (father of our two-year old child;
baby-daddy). I took a deep breath
metaphorically and tried to figure out what in the HELL was going on and how was I
gonna fix it. Did I tell you that I’m a
recovering fixer? We’ll talk about that another
time; back to my life.
Once
I made the decision to do so, I had to be smart about reaching out for
help. I wasn’t opposed at all, but as a
PK (Pastor’s kid) I knew how selective I had to be about sharing “my business”
with church folk. I like to call certain church folk Beees; because some of them have nice nasty attitudes who have learned the art of
disguising gossip as: “I want to share something with you so we’ll know how to
pray for “Soandso” because she …..; or, “I want you to agree with me about
“Whatchamacallit” because he blah, blah, blah blah”. If you haven’t had someone slide up to you
with the "sharing" disguised as prayer, just keep on livin. Now don’t stop readin’ because of your
perception shugga, keep readin’.
Tania
Not Tanya moment: Now before you judge
me and think Imma worldly cussin woman ‘cause I called some of the church folk “Beees”,
let me give you the authoritative definition of that phrase. You ready? Make sure you have an open
mind. …Also, they learn to be lazy by going from house to house. They are not
only lazy, but they also become gossips and busybodies, talking about things
they shouldn’t. 1 Timothy 5:13
(CEB). Now you didn’t really
think I was callin’ the church folk “female dogs” did you? SMH.
Not all well-meaning church folk gossip but they absolutely exist. Hey, I think I will refer to the term as "shar-ip" to represent "sharing gossip". Anyway, rather than call them gossipers, hypocrites,
or whatever, I prefer Beees in this instance.
This small group thrives on other
people’s drama (misfortunes, tragedies, mistakes, whatever you wanna call it) but
they fail to look at their own raggedy-hind part lives. Which reminds me of a quote from my Favorite
Book: Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—
unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way
of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be
oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me
wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this
whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou
part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face,
and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:1-5 (MSG).
Oh
wow, I didn’t realize how late it is. I’m
gonna have to put a pin it. Come back
next week to hear the rest of the story yawl.
Peace,
I’m out
Tania
Not Tanya
No comments:
Post a Comment