We Declare Pt. 2

Yesterday we discussed our right to Declare Victory over drama in our lives and summed it up as the position we take for (and/or in some cases against) whatever the drama is.  Rather than try to list all of the things that we face (e.g. relationships, finances, health, church hurt, etc.) I lumped possible scenarios together and label it “drama”.  We also discussed the fact that declarations fall in one of two categories: negative and positive:

Negative declarations are almost instinctive based upon our sensory perceptions, what we: see, hear, feel and/or have been exposed to:

·       See:  Momma ‘nem is fat, I’m fat, I will always be fat; my knees are too weak to exercise; I have chest palpitations when I do too much so I’ll just sit here and have another six twinkies.

·       Hear:  Daddy told me I was stupid and would never be nothing so I’m not.  I’m not smart enough to go to college so I’ll settle for this minimum wage job; or I’m not smart enough to do this, that and the third because of what daddy said.

·       Feel:  I hate the way I look.  I wanna be darker, lighter, taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, prettier, etc. like Anne Body, Soenso or Whoev Fur; OR I can’t live for God because the devil makes me do this and that, he’s always on my line, I can’t win for losing because the devil always makes me mess up all the time   

·       Exposure:  Grandma had momma when she was 15, Momma dropped out of school and had me at 16, so I dropped out too.  I don’t need to finish school, go to college or a job because I can get a check, EBT, Medi-Cal and Section 8 like they did. 

Proverbs 23:7a (NKJV): For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.  You are exactly what you think and you are exactly where you are based upon what you believe, what’s in your heart.  If you don’t like your world you can change it.  You have the power within to do so and guess what?  It might cost you something but it’s free.  Huh?

It costs something to stay in negativity.  It’s weighty, dark, and uncomfortable and we miss out on so much but we learn to adjust because it becomes our “normal” after we make the necessary adjustments.  It’s not that people cannot make positive declarations and live life to the fullest, it’s just easier not to especially if you don’t have the right type of influences in your life, primarily an authentic relationship with God.

As weird as it may seem, many people will not opt for positive declarations because they are costly: 1) giving up our right to live a defeated lifestyle; 2) it makes us accountable because we no longer have the safety net of blaming things and/or others); 3) it may cost our pride; 4) friends and family may avoid or “hate on” us because of jealousy of our positivity or perceived success (remember Joseph).  Believe it or not our positive mindset, success, etc. often reminds them of what they shudda, cudda, wudda done but fear or a settler’s mentality caused them to miss out.

It does not matter what the defeat is, living a defeated lifestyle is a choice, plain and simple.  There is no nice neat way to say it and it’s not being judgmental at all, the pure truth is that Christ paid an unimaginable price when he was humiliated, beaten and crucified on the Christ for our drama no matter what it is.  It is hurtful and insulting to God for us to live defeated even though he still loves us, it hurts because we give more attention to our negative situations to the point of meditating and worshipping them far more than we do him.  Dear Hearts, please understand that Jesus paid it ALL on Calvary, including our victory over E V E R Y circumstance:

·       1 Corinthians 15:57 (NLT): But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ

·       1 John 5:4 (NLT): For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.

Hebrews 11:6 (NLT) And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.  It takes faith, courage and strength to declare (proclaim, state emphatically; make known or state clearly) that you are (not will be) the opposite of what your circumstances say you are, whether those circumstances are self-inflicted or caused by others there is a divine purpose in them.

·       And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28 (NLT)

Whose purpose?  God’s purpose.  If we allow God to intervene on our behalf, He will give us the strength, wisdom and endurance for the drama – no matter what it is – and turn it into triumph (victory) but only for those who truly love God.  Why? Because the battle really isn’t yours at all, it belongs to God.  The enemy cannot fight God, so he fights us to get back at God.  The challenge with that ideology is that God has already written the outcome and we win all fights, temptations, trials, challenges, etc. every cotton picking time. 

Let’s be clear, we don’t ask the devil to give us back our stuff (e.g. marriage, children, families, relationships, finances, health, peace, etc.).  Excuse me Mr. Devil, sir, I hate to botha’ you cuz I knows you is busy, but if ya don’t mind, sir, could ya please leave me an’ mah family alone, if it ain’t too mucha’ trubba.  No!!!!!  We take it by force by declaring victory over our drama with positive actions and declarations:

·       I command my body to line up with the word of God, I will be healthy and fit. 

o   Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8 (NLT) 

·       I am who God says I am no matter what anyone says.  I have wisdom, I embrace it.

o   Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you

·       I love my Daddy but I am not stupid.  I am somebody, I am a child of the King.  I am smart enough to earn my degrees and magna cum laude. 

o   I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13

·       I am beautiful, I am enough

o   I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

If you don’t like your drama, change it with your words.

In His Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Forgiveness Pt. 17 The Beginning

Though I authored the declaration through the leading of the Holy Spirit, I was moved, transformed, inspired and captivated by Joseph’s journey myself.  Each morning that I delivered the fresh word that was downloaded into my heart and mind from on high I was blessed.  It is almost bitter sweet to discontinue this journey, but it is time.  However, before we say farewell to Joseph, I would like to re-cap some of my highlights:

·       Complex Family Dysfunction:   I didn’t realize the complexity of it until studying for this series: 1) multiple baby momma under one roof – or at least in the same vicinity; 2) generational trickery and deceit; 3) favoritism; 4) jealousy; 5) revenge; 6) hatred/murder; 7) liars.  The catalyst for the rivalry between Joseph and his brothers came from their mothers.  Jacob’s two wives were biological sisters (Rachael and Leah) and his two concubines were the maids of each sister.  Jacob was in love with Rachael but tolerated Leah because he was tricked into marrying her, however, Rachael couldn’t have children while Leah was a baby making machine.  In those times it was a disgrace for a woman not to be able to have children, but especially sons.  Rachael remained childless for years and during that entire time, Leah and her children taunted her.  It was childish, immature, selfish, disrespectful and mean. When she finally did get pregnant it was late in Joseph’s life, so he favored Rachael’s children doubly, they were Rachael’s children and he had them late in life.  The rivalry between Leah’s children was like an infectious disease among the children and they didn’t even fully understand why but Jacob’s open favoritism made matters worse for everyone.

·       Protect Yourself at All Times:  Just as Joseph’s brothers envied him because of his special gift of dreams and the bond with their father, you can bet there are people within your family (or close to you) that envy you, especially if you are a born again believer, successful (or they perceive that you are successful), etc.  It’s hard to believe but it’s real.  Get your head out of the proverbial sand and smell the coffee.  If you are successful in the eyes of a hater, you are a reflection of everything they are not and every time they see or hear you it’s like being sucker punched except they are punching themselves.  Take it from Joseph who was a naïve 17 year old kid, guard your dreams and be careful who you share them with until it is time your world to be introduced to them.  Lastly, it can be a challenge for close friends and family to view you as successful because they are familiar with your flaws and failures. Sometimes they will hold you hostage to your past if you let them.

·       Hurting People Hurt People:  Jacob’s baby’s momma’s were: Leah and her sons were:  Rueben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar and Zebulun; Rachel and her sons were: Joseph and Benjamin; Bilhah, Rachel’s maid whose sons were: Dan and Naphtali; and Zilpah, Leah’s maid whose sons were: Gad and Asher.  Jacob was hurt by Leah and Rachel’s father because he tricked him into marrying Leah (read Genesis 24 for the story).  Jacob’s hurt was passed onto Leah who passed on the hurt to her children, who passed on the hurt to Joseph.  This is why forgiveness is so important otherwise it can create an atmosphere for generational hatred.

·       Family Sabbatical/Isolation:  Whether voluntarily or involuntarily separating from one’s family can lead to unhealthy isolation.  This is one of the components of a physical abuser.  They slowly get you away from family and friends through control and manipulation so they can ultimately control everything about you.  The danger of isolation is that it can lead to depression, despair, insanity, frustration, anger, blame, hopelessness, suicidal and/or homicidal thoughts all of which are negative.  Without asking him, I know Joseph had to make choices most likely daily not to give into the thoughts above or those that were similar.  His positive choices helped him maintain his sanity

o   I reailze this may sound like an oxymoron but depending on your situation a family sabbatical(s) may absolutely be necessary.  This is especially difficult for someone who is family oriented like me.  If you make the decision to go this route you have to be prepared for the possible fall out.  For example:  you’re ready to come off sabbatical but your family/friends resent you for taking it in the first place and become resentful, hostile and/or ignore your attempts to reconnect.

·       Self-Discipline: Given the amount of flexibility Joseph had (limited as it was) he had the opportunity to take advantage of his position as the Manager of Potiphar’s household affairs, mistreat others, give in to Mrs. Potiphar sexual advances, etc. but as young as he was (late teens) he was such an honorable man that Potiphar didn’t micromanage or second guess him.  This leads me to believe that he already had those traits when he arrived in Egypt and that he cultivated them and used them to his advantage.

·       Adjusting to His Climate:  I believe it was solely the favor of God that helped Joseph to adapt to his new surroundings so quickly.  That adjustment helped him to be content with his state of being.  We have no idea of how desperately he wanted to be freed until we hear him try to coax the head baker and cup bearer to hook him up once they get out of prison.  When that didn’t work we have no evidence of him sinking into a depressed stupor, but I would imagine the temptation to do so was great, yet I am confident he hunkered down and said “yet will I trust”.  Understand he didn’t settle, he opted to be content with the state until change occurred.  There is a huge difference

·       Unending Trust in God:  I am always amazed at the hand holding that is needed for 21^st Century Believers who think they need someone to babysit them for their entire journey.  Now don’t get me wrong, when a new babe in Christ first becomes a Believer it makes sense to me, but an active spirit filled Believer who has been saved for more than 12 months that still needs someone to follow up with them and hold their hand is a bit much.  There are far too many resources at our fingertips to need someone to hold our hands through our journey like bible applications for smart devices, social media (Instagram, FaceBook, Twitter, YouTube, a barrage of websites, etc.); physical church buildings almost on every corner (at least in Oakland, CA on International Blvd. LOL), old school bibles, the Library, analog telephones and people, lots of people who are also committed and faithful Believers.  Joseph had absolutely nothing.  Not one person who believed in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He was surrounded by pagan worshipers who despised (hated) Hebrews and knew nothing of their God.  Hows this for you, he grew up being hated by his brothers and then when he was kidnapped he was surrounded by people who hated him until the tables turned and he became second in command of all of Egypt!!!

Joseph’s entire experience was a set up and the catalyst for the manifestation of the promise that God gave to Abraham his Great-Grandfather that he would make him (Abraham) a great nation.  He was talking about the Jews, his chosen people, who go without numbering today.  The story of their journey is recapped in Acts the seventh chapter.

The beginning ....

In His Excellent Service


Tania Not Tanya

Forgiveness Pt. 16: It Ain't Over Til God Says It's Over

The declaration Forgiveness Pt. 15: Which Truth Should I Believe? Ended with the most emotional family

reunion of all time, in my humble opinion.  Joseph’s extended family had finally arrived in Egypt after what seemed like an eternity but was more like two to three months from when he revealed his true identity to his 11 brothers.  There were approximately 66 relatives (not including the unborn babies that were conceived in Canaan and born in Egypt) that neither his wife nor children had met and vice versa.  There were sure to be cultural adjustments that were to be made, logistics with regards to housing, securing their flock and settling into their new “home”.  Joseph realized all those things and being the man of excellence he was I am sure he had a plan as well as a plan b.  But none of that really mattered, what was most important was that he was finally with his Daddy after all these years.  Neither of them could hardly believe it which is why they held onto each other so tightly for so long.  They knew it was true, but it was still hard to believe.  Finally Israel broke the silence and said:  “I’m ready to die. I’ve looked into your face—you are indeed alive.”  Genesis 46:30 (The Message)

Genesis 46:31-34 (paraphrased):  Israel then introduced and re-introduced Joseph to the entire clan some of whom he remembered but others he did not know, like his brother’s wives and the children born after he was separated from his family.  After meeting everyone he addressed the entire clan:   Joseph then spoke to his brothers and his father’s family. “I’ll go and tell Pharaoh, ‘My brothers and my father’s family, all of whom lived in Canaan, have come to me. The men are shepherds; they’ve always made their living by raising livestock. And they’ve brought their flocks and herds with them, along with everything else they own.’ When Pharaoh calls you in and asks what kind of work you do, tell him, ‘Your servants have always kept livestock for as long as we can remember—we and our parents also.’ That way he’ll let you stay apart in the area of Goshen—for Egyptians look down on anyone who is a shepherd.”  Genesis 46:31-34 (The Message)

I imagine that after the family business was complete they indulged in a feast fit for kings in and around the

temporary tents Joseph had erected and filled with all the fine comforts of Egypt.  Some of the items were a little over the top for Israel and his clan that lived the simple life of nomads but if it pleased Joseph then he was pleased.  The women and children were especially excited with the silks, mirrors, jewelry, clothing, fluffy couch pillows and other household artifacts most of which they had never seen before but would make life more convenient in these “modern times”.  After the introductions, festivities and celebratory events, Joseph and Israel went outside to enjoy the night air but primarily to talk privately.  When Israel began to ask specific questions about: who, what, when, etc. Joseph respectfully stopped him and told him that he was sent to Egypt to save his family, nothing more or less and no matter how he ended up there, it was all a part of God’s plan.  Israel could have pressed the issue, but the peace inside kept him quiet and he respected his son’s wishes.  They hugged and kissed again and Joseph left the camp for the night.

Genesis 47:1-12 Paraphrased:  Shortly after Joseph’s family arrived in Egypt he took five of his brothers to meet Pharaoh, reminding them of what to say and the appropriate protocol.  After their conversation and determining their profession Pharaoh instructed Joseph to settle them in Goshen, the choicest land of Egypt and he even went as far as offering those who were “especially good at their work” an opportunity to work personally for Pharaoh managing his livestock.   Can you imagine how the brothers must have felt?  Humbled, proud, unworthy, excited all at the same time.  I’m sure it was hard for them to believe their brother’s kindness, but they were living it and had no other choice. 

After the meeting with his brothers, Joseph introduced Israel to Pharaoh.  Wait a minute, press pause for a minute: 

Israel, Joseph’s father gets an introduction to Pharaoh, the King of Egypt.  I can imagine that Israel’s wives and grandchildren made more of a fuss about the occasion than he did, helping him select just the right attire, one of the many robes that Joseph had given his father as a gift, along with the girdle (sash) and sandals freshly made by Joseph’s personal sandal-maker.  The wives fused over his hair, cleaned his fingernails and insisted that he take a bath and use the scented oil that Joseph had also given his Daddy.  Israel went along with all of it except the sandals.  The leather was too stiff and it hurt his feet.  He refused to wear them and insisted on his old worn sandals that he wore from Canaan to Egypt and there would be no more discussion about it he said with an “old man’s” attitude.  They knew that tone far too well so they all backed up.  But Israel is going to meet the King, everybody thought it was such a big deal but at Israel’s age he really wasn’t impressed because he had met and fought with the Angel of the Lord.  While he respected the Pharaoh especially since he treated Joseph so well, he reverenced and honored God. 

After the meeting ended with Pharaoh Joseph and his brothers returned to his palace where Israel was resting and waiting for them.   When they arrived, they shared a meal and the results of their meeting with Pharaoh including the offer to work for him.  Once they finished, Joseph and Israel met with Pharaoh alone.  Joseph was far more excited than Israel.  All of Pharaoh’s officials were there, even Cup E. Bearer who had told Pharaoh about Joseph’s abilities to interpret dreams.  He was practically in tears as he introduced these two great and wise men to each other.  They indulged in friendly conversation and towards the end of their meeting, Pharaoh asked Israel his age and he replied “The years of my sojourning are 130—a short and hard life and not nearly as long as my ancestors were given.” Then Jacob blessed Pharaoh and left.  Joseph settled his father and brothers in Egypt, made them proud owners of choice land—it was the region of Rameses (that is, Goshen)—just as Pharaoh had ordered. Joseph took good care of them—his father and brothers and all his father’s family, right down to the smallest baby. He made sure they had plenty of everything.  Genesis 47:9-12 (The Message) 

Talk about a moment in history; a Kodak moment, man, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall to witness that exchange.  Joseph was a man of humility, but I bet his chest stuck out so far it practically filled the room they were in.  After allllllllllllllllll the humiliation, heartache, hurt, confusion, betrayal, you name it he suffered he has the honor of presenting his aged father before the highest man in their Country.

As we conclude Joseph’s life story and I reflect over my journey, considering the injustices that I have experienced at the hands of the haters who were assigned to me, I have to wonder if I could be as forgiving as Joseph.  While I love God with all my heart and I want my life to please him, it seems almost an impossibility for me to do so in and of my own strength.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe that I can forgive, in fact I have forgiven, but to then serve and go above and beyond to assist a hater (notice I don’t use the phrase “my hater(s) because it’s all about the verbiage, haters don’t belong to me, no ma’am, no sir.  Don’t want ‘em.)   However, when I reflect on Joseph’s complete unselfishness, it gives me confidence that if presented with the challenge and/or test, I too would pass with flying colors because I realize that with Christ I can do all things, according to Philippians 4:19.  If it is required and it is my assignment, I know that it would not be delegated to me unless God knew I could deliver the goods.

The Beginning ....

In His Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Forgiveness Pt. 15: Which Truth Should I Believe?

Yesterday’s blog allowed our imaginations to leap from one cliff to the next as we discovered the depth of Joseph’s forgiveness.  It is only fair that we re-cap some high points from the declaration Forgiveness Pt. 14: The Naked Truth before we continue:

·       Joseph finally revealed his identity to his 11 brothers in the privacy of a room in his palace

·       The brothers were dumbfounded by this naked truth because they had believed their lie for so long it had become their truth. 

·       Their obvious disbelief was: 1) Zaphenath-Paneah the second most powerful ruler in ALL of Egypt was in fact the brother they thought they got rid of; 2) He could enslave, imprison, torture and/or kill them and no one would question his decision – that thought alone was enough to terrorize them; 3) the memories of Joseph sharing his dreams of them bowing before him and them swearing they never would became a reality.  The metal taste of disbelief and the nauseating feeling it brought on was like a person in the middle of aggressive chemo therapy, the more they tried to eat (take in) the words the sicker they became

·       It was not until Joseph administered the soothing words of compassion, empathy, comfort and forgiveness to their ears which soothed their troubled minds that they were able to digest (take in) what he said

·       The mere fact that he hugged and kissed each and every one of them speaks volumes to Joseph’s character as a man of God.  The only way that any of this was possible was through and by the raw power of God.

The brothers leave Egypt with the blessing of Pharaoh, Pharaoh’s officials and their brother whom had completely forgiven them.  He gave them gifts, more than enough food for their journey and ensured they had the best wagons in all of Egypt to make the move easier on their wives and children.  They were pressed to return quickly because of the aggressive famine throughout the Country.

Meanwhile, Joseph is making plans for the return of his brother and the opportunity to finally see his beloved father and allow his father to see and bless his sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.  I can imagine him scouting the best land in Goshen and taking whatever steps necessary to prepare the land for his family’s arrival.

When the brothers finally reach Canaan they are giddy with excitement as they tell their father about the news

of Joseph.  When he hears the news he is numb.  I can imagine the thoughts and questions running through his well-seasoned brain most of which started with the word, How?  How is this possible? How can Joseph be alive when you led me to believe he was dead?  How could he possibly be a ruler and advisor to Pharaoh?  As an old man, he had hoped for so long that his son would return but when he didn’t he finally accepted “the Truth” that Joseph was dead.  He didn’t want to experience that hurt again of believing only to be disappointed, so he was naturally guarded.  He knew his sons were good for lying, there was no doubt about it, but they wouldn’t go this far to lie about something so dear to his heart.  When he stepped outside of the tent door and saw the wagons of goods that Joseph sent, he allowed himself to believe and instantly felt an infusion of life to the dead areas of his heart and mind.  Their camp was as busy as a hive full of bees as they prepared for their journey.  The wives and children were trying to pack everything they could into the wagons but the brothers limited the items to the necessities as Joseph and Pharaoh had assured them that they would be well provided for.  Not because of them, but in spite of them and solely because of God’s favor over Joseph’s life.

Genesis 46 paraphrased:  All 66 members of Israel’s family set out at dawn as they said farewell to Canaan and headed for Egypt.  They broke camp in Beersheba approximately 389 miles from Egypt – by car not such a big deal but in wagons pulled by donkeys with a bunch of children, women, livestock and servants, you can imagine the length of the journey.  Israel decided to worship and offer sacrifices to God for his many blessings.  Israel was familiar with Beersheba because it was the place where his brother Essau sold his birthright to him for some stew causing him to flee for his life.  After he worshipped, God spoke to him in a dream and said:

I am the God of your father. Don’t be afraid of going down to Egypt. I’m going to make you a great nation there. I’ll go with you down to Egypt; I’ll also bring you back here. And when you die, Joseph will be with you; with his own hand he’ll close your eyes.” Genesis 46:3-4 (The Message)

When they came near to Egypt, Israel sent Judah to get directions to Goshen, the land where they would be

living.  Joseph was I am sure as giddy as a kid on Christmas Day in Toys R Us.  I’m sure his servants were sick and tired of all the fuss he had made over making sure that everything was just right.  He made sure the servants cleaned and prepared his horses, the rims were waxed and shining and everything that could shine was shining like new money on that chariot.  I can imagine that he was so excited that he probably told his driver that he would do the driving as his body guards trailed behind him.  When he pulled up to the estate in Goshen, he could see the vast number of people busily unpacking but he didn't focus on them, he was looking for one person in particular and when he saw him, he ran to him and melted in his arms where he remained for a long time as they cried and whispered words that they shared with no one.

To be continued

In His Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Forgiveness Pt. 14: The Naked Truth

We ended the last blog stuck on the cliff but before we leap from it to the next, we need to press the refresh button to ensure we’re on the same page:

·       The 11 brothers are feeling great as they make their way home. Judah (which means praise) busts out singing Happy

·       But the happiness is short lived when Joseph’s Palace Manager and his back up chase them down, accuse them of stealing from Zaphenath-Paneah which they deny but voluntary consent to the “donkey search”.  When the Palace Manager finds the “planted evidence” in Benjamin’s bag you could’ve knocked them all over with a sneeze. 

·       Benjamin was now following the path of the brothers because he is to become Joseph’s slave-prisoner for this “heinous crime.” 

·       They arrive at Zaphenath-Paneah’s place and all 11 brothers fall on their face in humility and Judah takes

the lead in pleading the defense of Benjamin, the brothers and himself.  He speaks with such passion an eloquence that Joseph is convinced that Judah has changed from the cynical, hateful, selfish brother he knew as a boy.  The automatic timer in his psyche pressed rewind and scrubbed back to that fateful day when Judah negotiated his sale to the Ishmaelite’s, but he pressed STOP just as quickly because he fully understood, today, that it was all a part of God’s perfect plan.

·       It was not until he heard the lie the brothers (except Benjamin) told their father Jacob (aka Israel) that he started to experience a meltdown.  It didn’t sting like the arrow one’s enemy drives in your heart, this sting felt like a broken heart shredded into millions of little pieces, doused with gasoline and then set on fire.  He yelled at everyone to leave the room except the eleven but before the huge double doors were closed good he released a sound that had been caged up inside of him for over 20 years.  No deciphering words left his lips.  The only way to describe it is to call it “a sound”.  A sound that was earth shattering, deafening and ear-piercing; shocking everyone including his servants and officials and that’s where we’ll start.

Genesis 45 paraphrased:  Zaphenath-Paneah speaks to them in their native Hebrew language, admits that he

is their brother, Joseph, and asks if their father is still alive.  Not one brother opens makes a sound because they are all speechless.  I can imagine that their brains are on overload trying to process what the second most powerful man in the Country just said.  They don’t know if they are dreaming, hallucinating or if God is playing a really mean trick on them as punishment for what they did to Joseph years earlier so they pretend not to hear what this man just said.  In fact, they close their eyes and pretend they are invisible, yeah, that way they won’t feel the blade when it comes to end their lives because they just knew they were as good as dead.  All of them are having a completely separate conversation in their heads, but I can guarantee you it was all centered on what they just saw, felt and heard.

It doesn’t take someone with spiritual discernment to see that confusion is oozing out of every pore of their body, so Joseph tells them to come closer, they respond robotically without a word, but instinctively move towards “the man.”  With all of the passion and tenderness that he can muster up, Joseph says:  I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don’t feel badly, don’t blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the land now for two years; the famine will continue for five more years—neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me on ahead to pave the way and make sure there was a remnant in the land, to save your lives in an amazing act of deliverance. So you see, it wasn’t you who sent me here but God. He set me in place as a father to Pharaoh, put me in charge of his personal affairs, and made me ruler of all Egypt. Hurry back to my father. Tell him, ‘Your son Joseph says: I’m master of all of Egypt. Come as fast as you can and join me here. I’ll give you a place to live in Goshen where you’ll be close to me—you, your children, your grandchildren, your flocks, your herds, and anything else you can think of. I’ll take care of you there completely. There are still five more years of famine ahead; I’ll make sure all your needs are taken care of, you and everyone connected with you—you won’t want for a thing. Look at me. You can see for yourselves, and my brother Benjamin can see for himself, that it’s me, my own mouth, telling you all this. Tell my father all about the high position I hold in Egypt, tell him everything you’ve seen here, but don’t take all day—hurry up and get my father down here.  Genesis 45:4-13 (The Message)

The brothers still say nothing because the guilt and disbelief have their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths like krazy glue.  They’re having an inward battle justifying what they hear and see versus what their mind is saying has to be impossible.  See, when you tell a lie long enough you actually start to believe it so that when the truth finally catches up with the lie (because it will eventually) and when it blows up in your face you don’t know what to do because you are now fully exposed, butt naked in front of the truth.  You can’t run, hide, disappear or anything because you are caught and forced to deal with the truth whether you like it, accept it or want to.

You must understand that all this time Benjamin believed the lie about his brother being torn to shreds by animals too because he wasn’t there.  Joseph threw himself on his brother and buried his head in his neck as he cried and cried and Benjamin cried with him.  And then Joseph did the absolute unthinkable, he went to each brother, kissed them and wept with each of them.  The tears that ran down his checks didn’t sting like that had years ago when he was first ripped from his homeland and the many nights thereafter.  These were tears of joy, relief, closure, happiness, forgiveness and authentic love. 

By this time, Pharaoh had been informed that Zaphenath-Paneah’s brothers had arrived.  Pharaoh and all of his officials were excited for Joseph because they obviously knew his story.  Pharaoh came up with a plan instantly:  he would supply transportation to retrieve the entire family, give them land to live on and develop and they would have the very best that Egypt had to offer.  Not because Pharaoh knew them but because of the influence (favor) that Zaphenath-Paneah had over Pharaoh and all of his cabinet.  In their minds if Zaphenath-Paneah is good people, his people must be good people.  Joseph ordered the wagons to be brought to the brothers, he packed plenty of food for the round trip, gave them all new clothes, but he gave Benjamin five sets of clothing and 300 hundred pieces of silver.  He sent another set of 10 donkeys loaded with gifts for his father, the finest Egypt had to offer as well as the provisions for the round trip.

When they got home and told their father the good news, he was numb with disbelief while at the same time he believed every word they said.  The more he processed the news, the more rejuvenated he felt.  Life rushed back into his veins as his heart pumped hope throughout his entire body and then Israel (aka Jacob) said:  I’ve heard enough—my son Joseph is still alive. I’ve got to go and see him before I die.”  Genesis 45:28 (The Message)

To be continued

In His Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Forgiveness Pt. 13: Just Can't Keep It To Myself

Who remembers the old school jam I just can't keep it to myself?"  We're gonna pick up today's blog with Joseph's "I just can't keep it to myself "experience but before we do I want to recap some high points from yesterday’s blog:

·       The 11 brothers arrive to purchase more food;

·       Joseph still has not revealed his identity to them;

·       They are clueless as to why they are directed to Joseph’s palace but assume it’s because of the money they discovered in their food sacks after they left so they confess to the Palace Manager; however, the manager assures them there is no money problem and reunites them with their brother Simeon who remained in jail until his brothers returned

o   All of the sons of Jacob (aka Israel) have now spent time in jail except Benjamin.  Nine brothers had their charges dropped and were released after three days; Simeon spent at a little less than a year locked up and Joseph did a 13 year run.  Can you imagine the gossip about the First Family?

·       When Joseph returns to his Palace they bow to him in reverence, fulfilling his second childhood dream.  He asks about their father, Jacob (aka Israel), confirms that Benjamin is the younger brother.  The emotion is almost overwhelming so he leaves the room abruptly to release what he has suppressed since he saw them a few months ago;

·       They have a great meal together and enjoy each other’s company without them ever knowing who he was. 

We will continue Joseph’s journey at Chapter 44.

Joseph ordered his Palace Manager to fill the brothers’ sacks with more than enough food; load their

donkeys; return all of their money again and to place his personal silver cup in Benjamin’s food sack without the brothers knowing.  After the donkeys were loaded the brothers left at dawn.  I can imagine them high fiving and dapping each other because it didn’t turn out to be not as bad as they assumed.  Meanwhile back at the Palace, Joseph (also known as Zaphenath-Paneah (“Za-fe-naph-Pa-knee-ya”, Joseph’s Egyptian name which means God Speaks and He Lives) decided to work from home that day.  About an hour after the brothers left he instructed his Palace Manager to go after them and when he catches them to say:  “When you catch up with them, say, ‘Why did you pay me back evil for good? This is the chalice my master drinks from; he also uses it for divination. This is outrageous!’ Genesis 44:5 (The Message).  Here’s how I imagine the chain of events:  For some odd reason Rueben gets the sense that someone is following them, he turns around and sees a cloud of dirt and he tells his brothers.  Soon they realize the dust is chariots approaching rather quickly and the closer they get they can tell those are the chariots from the Palace of Zaphenath-Paneah.  They couldn’t out run them on these slow pack donkeys and besides there was no reason to run, they had done nothing wrong, had they?  The Palace guards roll up 20 deep and they surround them like flies on watermelon.  The brothers are moving extra cautiously because they don’t want any of the guards to get “sword happy” and cut off somebody’s ear or some other body part that they need.

The Palace Manager dismounted his chariot, walked over to them aggressively and sternly repeated exactly what his master Zaphenath-Paneah told him to say. They looked at him, each other and back at him dumbfounded and all at once they started to answer him.  Judah finally calmed everyone down and spoke on their behalf: “What is my master talking about? We would never do anything like that! Why, the money we found in our bags earlier, we brought back all the way from Canaan—do you think we’d turn right around and steal it back from your master? If that chalice [silver cup] is found on any of us, he’ll die; and the rest of us will be your master’s slaves.” The steward [Palace Manager] said, “Very well then, but we won’t go that far. Whoever is found with the chalice will be my slave; the rest of you can go free.  They outdid each other in putting their bags on the ground and opening them up for inspection.  The steward searched their bags, going from oldest to youngest. The chalice showed up in Benjamin’s bag. Genesis 44:7-12 (The Message)

The ripped their clothes as a sign of grief and despair, loaded their donkeys in silence and followed the chariots back to the palace of Zaphenath-Paneah in complete and utter silence.  When they arrived at the palace they threw themselves at the feet of Zaphenath-Paneah.  He accused them of being thieves and said:  “How can you have done this? You have to know that a man in my position would have discovered this.” Genesis 44:15 (The Message).  It is odd, but Judah rather than Rueben (the eldest) asks respectfully to address Zaphenath-Paneah and begins to remind him of their initial encounter, the accusation of being spies, asking about their family in Canaan, inquiring about their father, holding Simeon hostage until they brought the young brother back.  As he spoke the other brothers remained in a prostrate position and didn’t move, hoping and praying that Zaphenath-Paneah would be merciful.  Judah continued to plead their case, speaking of how much the father favors Benjamin because he is the son of his old age by the wife he favored the most as well has his brother Joseph, who went missing and the father believes he was ripped to shreds by wild animals. 

As Judah spoke Joseph realized that Judah was not as hard and cynical as he once was, something happened to change him perhaps he has feelings after all.  Whatever the case he is different and seems sincere which pleases Joseph.  Judah continues to plead their case:  “If you keep the boy our father, a white haired old man will die from grief, he knows and we know it.  I beg you, let me become your prisoner instead of the boy.” 

Joseph sat in silence as Judah went on and on pleading for his brother.  When he heard the lie they told their father about an animal ripping him to shreds he became enraged and for a quick moment an accusatory thoughts snuck into his brain: “how could you lie to our father like that?” “Judah, why didn’t you advocate for me the way you’re advocating for the boy?  Why did you hate me so much?”  He quickly dismissed the thought but as he did the dam of emotions began to crack.  His throat was on fire trying to suppress the shout that was about to erupt from the pit of his stomach.  He couldn’t take it any longer and there was no way he was going to let the Egyptians see him cry, so he said:  “Leave!!!  Everyone get out now!!!!!!!!  There was no one left in the room except Joseph and his brothers.

The brothers jumped to their feet when they heard Zaphenath-Paneah shouting frozen with fear and believing

the worse.  Poor Benjamin didn’t know what was going on.  He thought to himself “this dude must be tweakin’ on some Opium or something; he was just laughing and drinking with them a few hours ago and now he’s accusing him of stealing a silver cup he never even saw!  I wish I would have stayed home with Daddy”.  Right in the middle of his thoughts he heard an earth chilling cry that he will never forget.  It sounded like a severely wounded animal but when he looked up, it was Zaphenath-Paneah.  He thought to himself: “Oh My God, this man needs some serious herbs he has lost it and they left us in here with him alone; we have no witnesses.  God help us.” He must have hollered, snotted and cried for about 12 minutes.  He was so loud that the Egyptians heard him, but Joseph didn’t care.  News got back to Pharaoh’s Palace that there was major drama going on at Zaphenath-Paneah’s palace.

To be continued

In His Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Forgiveness Pt. 12: Guess Who’s Comin to Dinner

During yesterday’s blog we learned from Genesis 42 that:

·       Joseph’s extended family from Canaan were affected by the famine and 10 of his brothers came to Egypt to purchase food

·       Joseph recognized them immediately but they had no clue who he was because he was 17 at the time they sold him into slavery and he is now approximately 37-38 years old;

·       Joseph flexes his muscles, takes advantage of their ignorance, speaks to them through an interpreter; accuses them of being spies and throws them in jail for three days;

·       Joseph releases them on the condition that they return with their youngest brother; they freak out and start hurling accusations at each other in their native Hebrew tongue including blaming each other for selling him as a slave and assume this God’s punishment, except Joseph understands every cotton pickin’ word they’re saying;

·       The biggest blow was seeing Joseph have Simeon tied up and returned to jail where he would remain unless they presented the youngest brother to Joseph as proof they weren’t spies.  They agree but they knew this would cause their father to flip out;

·       Joseph sends them on their way with the food they purchased but he instructed his servants to secretly return their money which was packed in their sacks of food

·       They report everything completely as it happened and Jacob flipped out as they predicted. 

We begin Joseph’s journey at Genesis 43.  Several months have passed by and Jacob’s entire clan has come down to the last of the food.  He instructs his sons to acquire more from Egypt, but Judah reminds Jacob (aka Israel) that the “man in charge” told them not to return without the younger brother.  A lightweight argument ensues between Jacob and Judah.  Jacob blames them for telling “the man” they had a younger brother; Judah defends their response as “the man” asked specific questions about their family.  He then bargains with father and says he will be fully responsible for Benjamin if anything happens.  Israel really doesn’t want to hear that as a solution because he favors the children of his favored (and deceased) wife Rachael, primarily Joseph and secondarily Benjamin.  He loves his children but those two are “special” and everyone knows it.  In fact it’s what started this whole mess in the first place.  Judah presses Jacob a bit further and says: I’m the guilty one; I’ll take all the blame. If we had gone ahead in the first place instead of procrastinating like this, we could have been there and back twice over.” Genesis 43:10 (The Message).  The final nail in the coffin is when he tells his father that they have been procrastinating for so long that they could have been to Egypt twice and back by now.

·       What an interesting choice of words by Judah.  He is in fact the guilty one at least as it relates to the plan to sell his younger brother as a slave but now the tables are turned and he is willing to take ownership for his youngest brother, Benjamin, should something happen to him.

Clearly this wasn’t an easy decision for Jacob (Israel) which is why he procrastinated for as long as he did.  Is there really any comfort for Israel that if something happens to Benjamin he can kill Judah?  They are both his sons.   The rubber has met the road and if he doesn’t give in, they will all die of starvation.  As much as he hates to consent, he gives in.  But where is God in all of this?  Hold on, he’s gonna reveal himself directly.

Israel instructs his sons to bring gifts to “the man”: balm, honey, some spices, perfumes, pistachios and almonds.  They weren’t completely out of food but very close to it. 

They arrived in Egypt as planned and went straight to Joseph who finally saw his baby brother (who is now a man himself) after almost 20 years.  Joseph got the attention of his personal assistant and told him to prepare dinner for his guests while he continued to work.  How Joseph completed any work that day is beyond my understanding.  Obviously he was a man of discipline who understood the importance of prioritization but he had to be on pins and needles; just as his brothers but for different reasons.  I can imagine that the temptation for vengeance may have crept up, after all he is a human being, not a god.  However, the peace and love of God overshadowed any ill thoughts that may have tried to overtake the goodness and genuine forgiveness he had for his brothers.  The brothers’ anxiety was justified; they deserved to be afraid based upon their evil behavior and I am sure their thoughts were all over the place like:  “Why in the world would “this man” invite us in his home?”  “Is this a set up?”  “Oh no, he thinks we stole the money from the last time we bought food”.  They assumed that was the reason so they went to Joseph’s personal assistant and explained that they paid for their food but when they checked their sacks they found the money.  The personal assistant said:  “Everything’s in order. Don’t worry. Your God and the God of your father must have given you a bonus. I was paid in full.” Genesis 43:23 (The Message).  He then got Simeon so they could be reunited, he gave them water to wash their feet and made them feel comfortable while he ensured that their donkeys were fed and watered.  The brothers had been told that Joseph would arrive at noon to eat with them so in preparation, they spread out all of the gifts that they brought for “the man”.  When Joseph got home they presented their gifts and bowed low before him.

The second dream Joseph had as a boy came to past:   He had another dream and told this one also to his brothers: “I dreamed another dream—the sun and moon and eleven stars bowed down to me!” Genesis 37:9 (The Message).  Joseph was extremely hospitable which had to be shocking to them based upon their previous experience.  He asked (through an interpreter) about their father, specifically if he was still alive to which they answered yes and then all 11 brothers bowed again.  Joseph then referred to Benjamin and asked if he was the younger brother they referred to on their previous trip and they replied yes.  Joseph was absolutely overcome with emotion to the point that he had to leave the room quickly and he broke down in his private chambers where he released every bit of emotion that had been raging inside him since they arrived.  He was happy, relieved, sad, and thankful in addition to the feeling of being unworthy of God’s generosity all at the same time.  He snotted and cried until he got it all out and once he did, he got himself together and returned to his guests, his big brothers whom he loved far more than they would ever realize. 

When he returned they all ate together, except not really, well they were all in the same room, but the seating

arrangements were let’s just say, different, separate and unequal:  Joseph sat at his private table, the Egyptians sat at second table because they did not eat at the same table as Hebrews because it was repulsive to them; and the brothers sat at third table facing Joseph, but they were seated the eldest, Rueben, to the youngest, Benjamin.  This completely freaked them out and they looked at each other in astonishment.  When the food was served they all received healthy portions, except Benjamin, the servants were instructed to give him five times more than the others.  They ate, drank and enjoyed one another’s company for the rest of the meal and then they were escorted to their sleeping chambers.  Genesis 43:32-34 (The Message)

"Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" was a controversial love story created in the mid 60s, but it pales in comparison to this love story. Listen, in all honesty, I love God with all my heart, but I don’t know that I could prepare a feast, eat, drink and enjoy the company of my haters, family or not.  At least not in and of myself.  I’m just being honest.  I'm not perfect, I'm forgiven.

In closing here are some points we should consider:  1) approximately 20 years had elapsed now since Joseph was ripped from his childhood home because of the envy which turned to hatred of the 10 eldest brothers; 2) he endures what we perceived as unjust treatment, but God’s favor was over Joseph the entire time he was in captivity and I don’t believe anything overwhelmingly dangerous happened to him; 3) he was a spoiled brat and needed to learn what it meant to be an independent man who could stand on his own rather than under the watchful eye of his father; 4) his 13 year training prepared him for the most important job of his life which was to serve his country and save the lives of thousands of people, including his hateful brothers that he made the choice to love even after all he had suffered.  Acts 7:9-10 paraphrased

Being separated from your extended family for a period of time as difficult as it may be is not all bad, sometimes it is absolutely necessary.  Consider: Abraham, Moses, Esther, etc. had they stayed in their comfort zone, God’s plan would have been fulfilled by someone else, but they would have lost out.  

To be continued …

In His Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya