On Top of the Hill with Angels

I posted a blog series the week of November 9, 2014 entitled The Fall: Skating on top of the Hill Parts 1, 2 and 3.  It was centered around my childhood experiences learning to roller skate, skate board.  Odd as it may sound I learned to navigate those devices on the hills of San Francisco, not by choice, but because we lived on a hilly section of the Fillmore (which newcomers and/or politicians refer to as the Western Addition).  I have had my share of hickeys and still have scars on my shins and knees to prove that I paid a price to accomplish my goals.  Why didn’t I use a helmet or knee pads?  I don’t think they had been invented yet and if they were, it wasn’t mandatory back in the 60s,  Yes, sweetie, the 60s.  

Recently I was invited to give a “Talk” to a group of women at the Epiphany House.  As I navigated to the location, I realized I was near in my old neighborhood.  Anza Elementary School, the first school I attended was right around the corner!  When the Talk was over, we got in my car to head across the bay and instantly it hit me: “you’ve gotta go by the old landmark” so I volunteered to give my passengers (Victory Angels) a tour of the street I grew up on.  We pulled out of the steep driveway onto Masonic Street, made a right turn and headed towards Geary where I made another right at the light and an immediate left onto Presedio where I continued for one block and to my surprise I was able to make a right onto Post Street.  When I grew up that portion of Post Street was a one way.  Favor had an available parking spot for us just shy of the corner of Post and Presidio Streets near the “top of the hill.”  We were giddy with excitement as we recalled the blog series: “Skating on top of the Hill” and decided to take pictures like we were tourists, celebrities or some other iconic figures.  As we positioned ourselves just right for my iPhone to capture history in the making I saw a bus approaching.  Normally I would have waited until the bus passed before we continued so I wouldn’t draw attention but I didn’t care what those people thought because I was living in the moment as I recalled “skating on top of that very hill”.  As we continued to giggle and snap pictures, I had a couple of epiphanies: 1) The Post Street hill wasn’t nearly as steep as it seemed when I was a six year old kid learning to roller skate; skateboard or ride my bike and 2) During my training I had some knicks, scrapes, bruises and hickeys but I never had a devastating fall or accident on that hill, it was as if I was surrounded by angels then and I certainly was the day I went back to explore my old neighborhood. 

I came up with another bright idea, I was gonna find the house I grew up in.  I couldn’t remember the address but the memory of my former home was stored away neatly and easily accessible.  The Victorian styled home with side by side doors and a long stairway up the front was an unmistakable dark dull brown when we lived there, but today looking at the neighborhood through the lenses of a full growed up ad-dult, it was overwhelmingly clear that the neighborhood had changed immensely.  Living spaces had been remodeled and/or torn down and completely rebuilt.  But I found a house that certainly fit the bill and decided that had to be it.  We pulled right into the driveway next door as if we were "somebody" because we are "somebody" and I had my angels with me so I wasn’t worried (because one of them was good at talking and the other one can fight really well).  LOL!!!

I walked about halfway up the stairs and I was flooded with memories, really good memories about my old neighborhood and I started to recall them as if the angels that were with me knew what I was talking about, like: 

·      I was invited to lunch at a friend’s house and served a sandwich with mustard on it (which I wasn’t accustomed to), however, it must have been spicy mustard because it was too hot for me to eat.  I decided from that point on that I didn’t like mustard.  Unbeknownst to me, there are a variety of mustards and they are not all hot.  I eat mustard now.

·       We (the kids my age) thought old man Jeter’s pick-up truck was haunted because the horn would start blowing for no apparent reason, day or night.  At least that’s what we thought.  Unbeknownst to us, the horn was his anti-theft alarm to alert him if someone was tampering with his vehicle.

·       The Meyers (Renaldo, Kim, Mario) lived across the street from us and up about 7 or 8 houses.  They had a huge family.  They were unique to me because they were all light skinned; had curly/wavy hair and they were very attractive.  Most of us were regular brown-black folks.  Well I was a little different because I had thick hair down to my butt and so did my mother but I was brown like the rest of them.  In hindsight the Meyers family was probably Creole but everybody made a big deal about them because they were different.

·       I saw the corner store was still in existence.  I don’t remember the owners, but I kept a nightstand drawer full of candy that I purchased from that store.  Between me and my mom's purchases I had some of the best snacks on the block and I was always willing to share with my friends.  I still like sharing with people to this day.

·       I remember my grandfather and mother “exchanging words”.  They didn’t cuss or anything but it was kind of heated.  She told him not to take her mom’s sewing machine out of the house so he dropped it from the second floor dining room window.  My mom looked at him in disgust and he said something smart like you told me not to take it out of the house.  I was so shocked I snatched my my left thumb out of my mouth and ran over to the window to see the machine still completely intact.  Yes, I was a thumb sucker, don’t judge me.  Did you hear me just do a belly laugh?  Today I no longer suck my thumb and contrary to the lies my uncle Don and big sister Deb told me I do not have fish lips or bucked teeth, thank you very much. 

·       My mom loved soap operas (e.g. Dark Shadows, General Hospital, and Peyton Place) and I was not allowed to touch the television until her shows went off.  There were no VCRs, or instant playbacks and kids stations were unheard of.  I hate soap operas to this day.

What is my point?  Hindsight is always 20/20, in other words, as I look back over my life and I think things over; I cantruly say, that I’ve been blessed, I have a testimony.  We all do.  What did you say?  Yes you do, we all do.  I will prove it.  Things could have been so much worse but they weren’t.  There’s a reason you didn’t overdose; die in that car accident; you don’t have AIDS, Hep C, Liver disease, etc. you didn’t get the job, you got a business instead; you still have your sanity, I still have my house after our extended lay-off period.  You (I) didn’t get yourself out of that jam and nor did your “ride or dies” Hon’Tee.  God dispatched ministering angels to protect you sweet cakes it had nothing to do with you or your pot’nahs.  Do you really think God allowed you to survive to sit on what he gave you?  Really?  Listen, we cannot live in the past nor can we change it? Now there are plenty of people who try but they stick out like sore thumbs.  You know the kind of people that still wear wet gherri curls; church-lady french rolls with pin curls, men with finger waves and/or mullets.  You can see them a mile away. 

Listen, if you make a conscious decision to live your life dwelling on the pass it’s your choice but you cannot live there.  Why?  Because time doesn’t stand still nor does it wait on anyone.  Your end result will be that you miss IT.  Miss what?  Life; your purpose; your assignments; the people assigned to you and vice versa.  Our lives are scripted by God himself.  After each life lesson I believe we have the responsibility to: Thank God for keep us; Ask: What’s Next God? Wait for the answer; Ask for the plan and Carry it out to the best of our ability. 

 

In closing I want to leave you with this quote from my favorite book:  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.  Philippians 3:14 (NLT)

So I ask you, What’s Next?

I’m out of time, I'm out of year;  See you in 2015!!!  Or not, you might decide to dwell in the past don't look for me or call me to come visit because I ain't coming, no ma'am, no sir.   I'm just sayin...

Tania not Tanya

Got Change?

I can honestly say I am not in the same emotional place I was at the beginning of this year, 2014.  When 2014 arrived my normal no longer existed, instead it was replaced with in uncertainties that I didn’t think could exist for me.  I had gaping wounds that needed to be sutured by someone other than me but my level of trust in others had been shattered because what had been my foundation for ALL of my life was suddenly gone.  It was as if someone pulled the rug from under me but instead of falling on the hard floor, there was nothing to catch me because that too had crumbled.

It was the perfect opportunity for me to accuse God of abandonment or being unfair, ultimately turning my back on him, but that would have been stupid because he didn’t make me “feel” what I was experiencing, however, he allowed it – there is a huge difference.   When I asked him why this was happening he whispered “it had to be this way” in such a calm loving voice that it was unmistakable.  I heard him clearly, there is no doubt about it, but I didn’t want that to be the answer because it hurt so badly.  I knew I was going places and would attain success but I believed people, places and things could remain the same as he elevated me.  Can you say insanity?  I mourned and grieved my losses as I simultaneously tended my wounds by applying excessive doses of the spoken Word and prayer.  I cannot explain why, but doses of the spoken Word seemed to work best at night although the random doses that came by surprise were just as potent.  What do I mean?  Great question.  Rather than fall asleep while watching an empty pointless movie, I would tune into one of the specialists assigned to me, knowing I would fall asleep but as I slept my subconscious could still feast off the spoken Word. 

At the onset of what has become a life changing event I made an intentional decision that I would not blame God for what he allowed because I know that he knew he could trust me with it otherwise he would never have allowed it.  I prepared myself in advance for the inevitable questions that tried to pop up, sneak in and overtake me by surprise like:  Why me? How could people who say they love me and God be so cotton pickin’ mean and sneaky; has my life been a complete waste of time?, etc.  So as much as it hurt; as perplexing as it was and as much as I wanted to indulge myself in hosting ongoing pity parties I decided to honor God by going through my “growth spurt” aka “trial” with excellence, dignity and intentional obedience because I didn’t want to disappoint or grieve my Daddy, Abba Father. 

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.  Ephesians 4:30 (NLT). 

So the suffering, un-inflicted drama and all it entailed was offered back to God in the form of worship.  How in the world did I do that?  That’s a great question too.  I made the decision to go through the drama without complaining, blaming and asking “why”?  I made the decision to combat the desire to: complain, blame and question God by changing the channel to other thoughts based on a passage from my favorite book:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Tania Not Tanya nugget:  It wasn’t always easy, I didn’t always want to and sometimes I blew it but once I gained my footing (and it took me a minute) I found enough space to intentionally gain some stability.  Did you hear what I just said?  I found it.  Found what?  Stability.  How? I found it because I was LOOKING for it; it didn’t just show up automatically!  Secondly my actions, my search, was intentional.  Failing this test was not an option and I had no plans of blowing it only to cause me to repeat the lesson.  No ma’am, no sir, I was gonna get this joker right because baaaaby, listen here, it hurt too much where I was to get comfortable, move in, construct a whole entire neighborhood on the bridge (thank you Tim) and pass it on to my children’s children.  NO, not on my watch!  I could have waited for someone else to do it but I kept hearing:

God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.  Matthew 5:9 (NLT)

I didn’t work for peace for other people, I worked at peace because I want to be identified as a child of God.  Anybody can act a fool, cuss people out, etc. and waste time scheming on ways to hurt others but it takes a real man or woman to put on some big girl panties or “draws” (underwear), man up and/or roll up their sleeves to “work for peace”.  Do you hear what I’m saying to you?  Stop waiting for somebody else, you are the somebody.

Once I made my mind up and went to work everywhere I turned I received doses of the Word from the Specialists assigned to my healing, be it: John Gray, Joel Osteen, Bishop Jakes, Joyce Meyers, my accountability partner, I’ll just call her “Mrs.” or my SiSee.  Shoot, even Charles Stanley helped me out, a lot!!!  Warning:  consuming too much Word and Prayer may cause an overdose which may result in over-religiosity; high mindedness; delusion and/or an inability to separate the spiritual from the natural realm.   Balance is always necessary, always, yah heard!!!

My story isn’t yours but there are some similarities.  How do I know?  Am I a prophet?  Yes I do have the gift of prophecy.   Now hold on, a minute.  Don’t trip out.  I don’t see or talk to dead people; I can’t read palms; tea leaves or playing cards, but God spoken to me many times about specific things affecting people presently or to things come.  However, this is not that.  This is pure logic and commonalities.  There are some basic components to spiritual warfare:  hurt, accusation, blame, perplexity, uncertainty, anxiety, choices, etc.  But when it’s all said and done, What’s next? 

How long will you wallow in drama from the past?  Honey ain’t you tired of blaming you baby momma, baby daddy, your boss, the people next door, down the street, Po-Po, the preacher, church folk, yo’ play cousin Mooky’s best friend’s dog?  Ok they did what they did 5 months ago, a year ago, 5 years ago, 25 years ago and everywhere in between.  You’ve cussed, spit, ranted and raved about it; told the story so much that everybody knows the it better than you.  Hon’Tee, people is tired of it, ain’t you?  It hasn’t caused any healing, you ain’t made no money from it, wrote a book or a song so what on earth is the point?  Right, there isn’t one so why not just, Let It Go!!! 

How?  Drop it; change the channel; sing a song; laugh out loud; exercise; say the alphabet backwards with your eyes open, etc.  It doesn’t matter just don’t dwell on the drama.  The simple definition of insanity is to: keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  Here’s a clue.  Stop the insanity and change some things.  Like what?  You sure ask a lot of questions!!  Seriously, it’s your life, you can decide to custom design it to your specifications. 

Here’s an exercise for you:

1)    Look in the mirror, go ahead, I’ll wait ………  Now say:  “Self, (your name) change is here like it or not;

2)    To remind yourself of change, put some coins in your pocket and periodically put your hands in your pocket to “feel the change”

I’m out of time; catch you later

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

You Ain't My Baby Daddy

Josay also known as JoJo, was seven years older than Maryetta whom most people in their small knit community referred to as Emee, but he loved that girl for as long as he could remember.   He started to notice her when she was 14, not in a freaky, pedophilic kind of way, but she stood out from the other young girls her age by the way they talked and carried themselves.   It seemed that whenever she made up her mind to do something or she was given a task she may not have fully understood, she found a way to get the job done and on top of her creativity, resourcefulness, etc. she was pretty.   He tried to rationalize in his mind why a relationship with her wouldn’t work because of their age difference and did his best to ignore the feelings he had by dating other girls his age, but no one seemed to hold his interest.  The irony is that he and Emee had never engaged in any meaningful conversation so there was nothing to legitimately base his feelings on other than his heart. 

So why not just talk to her?  I know you may be thinking the obvious was the age difference, oddly though, that wasn’t the issue.  They lived by very strict customs and traditions that most of us would consider over-the-top, even as Believers.  For example:  the girls were trained to be domestics – cooking, cleaning, gardening, caring for children, etc.  This was not to diminish females it was just that the emphasis was on the males were the primary bread winners.  Ninety-five percent of the community were business owners; they grew their own livestock and agriculture; the children attended same gender schools throughout their educational training; young women were generally escorted by a chaperone or in the company of a group of others.  So as innocent as it may seem for us today, approaching a young woman alone was completely out of the question.   Prayer was incorporated in everything they did, whether it was at dinner time or at a town council meeting because they prided themselves on being God-fearing people that held the Holy Scriptures in high esteem and used these scriptures as the law of their community.   Obviously you could imagine that family values ranked in the top five of this community’s belief system which meant that there were no illegitimate pregnancies, single parenting (unless there was a death of a spouse), divorce as we know it was virtually nonexistent.

JoJo finally worked up the nerve to speak with his father about his feelings for Emee.  He was relieved when his father sat him down and talked to him about his experience with his wife, JoJo’s mother, thirty years ago.  This was new for JoJo because his father, Matt, rarely shared intimate things with him, which allowed JoJo to see a different side of his dad.  At the conclusion of their conversation, Matt agreed to help his son start the formal marriage process.  Wait a minute, hold up?  How do we even know that Emee is even interested in JoJo?  She’s just a young teenager with her entire life in front of her.   It’s a mute issue?  Why?  Did I mention that in addition to the customs referred to above that “arranged marriages” especially to younger teens were also a part of their customs, complete with dowries?  No?  Ok, well now I am.  I hear you, don’t judge, just listen a little more.    

Matt met with Samuel, Emee’s father.  They agreed it would be good for both families to join together from a political and economic standpoint and it would be good for business.  The next step was to agree on a price and they did.  Emee was fully aware of what was going on because she had been groomed for this day, she just wasn’t sure who her suitor was because she was kept isolated until the negotiations were completed.  She was then escorted to the meeting room where she saw JoJo and her knees buckled.  Her father felt her weight shift as he escorted her in and ever so gently tightened his grip to ensure she wouldn’t fall.  Samuel knew by his daughter’s body language and the five other daughters he had married off that this was a good sign.  After the pleasantries and they bid each other a good night and Emee and her mother Tabitha spent half the night planning the festivities which would be held in a few short weeks.

JoJo called on her quite often over the next few weeks all under the watchful eye of Tabitha or her chaperon Lizzy.  The more time they spent together (regardless of their chaperones) the harder it seemed to leave each other.  It seemed too good to be true, as if it was a fairytale, but this was real.  Everyone in their small community had heard about their engagement and there was definitely a love bug in the air.

A few weeks later early one morning while Emee lay in bed praying and thanking God for her soon to be husband she heard a man call her name.  Surely it wasn’t Jojo sneaking around this early in the morning but to be certain she went to her bedroom window but didn’t see anything so she dismissed the sound and got back in bed.  She closed her eyes and just as she began to pray again, she heard the same voice say:  Good morning! You’re beautiful with God’s beauty,

Beautiful inside and out! God be with you.  Emee Shocked, scared and confused the Messenger, Gabriel, continued to speak prophetically over her life and by the time he completed the conversation she knew her life would never be the same.  She couldn’t wait to tell JoJo.  She was scheduled to travel to see her older cousin Betty to assist her during the latter part of her pregnancy but she decided she would take a detour so she could give Joseph the exciting news but when she told him she was pregnant and that he wasn’t her baby’s daddy the look of disappointment on his face and the sadness in his eyes were unexplainable.   

He was clearly angry but he didn’t raise his voice.  He sat for a long while without saying anything.  His silence was deafening but the tears that rushed down his face stinging like acid were more than she could take.  She began to weep and pray as she sat in silence for him to say something, anything.  Neither of them cared that they were breaking custom of being together without a chaperone.  After what seemed like an eternity he finally spoke just above a whisper and told her he would think of something and suggested that she leave before people began to talk.  “Leave, think of something” she thought to herself as she walked out of the door.  As she continued on her journey she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t as excited as she was and then it hit her like a ton of bricks.  He must think that I have been unfaithful to him, but that’s not true.  I am still a virgin, I know what God’s messenger said to me.  I’m going to have a baby that JoJo and I will raise together even though he is not my baby’s daddy.  She prayed this prayer:  “God, I don’t know why you chose me but I am willing to be a vessel for you.  I pray that you will comfort JoJo in what must be a very confusing time for him, Amen.”

JoJo was so upset that he left work.  He dare not tell anyone for fear of bringing shame on Emee and her family.  Regardless of what she had done, he still loved her but this was unthinkable.  He had been faithful to God, his family and to Emee, how could this happen?  The only logical thing to do was to call off the engagement privately and advise her to stay with Betty and Zach until she had the baby.  He would provide the support she needed up until she had the baby and after that he would be done with her.  It was the middle of the night be then, his brain was mush and he was physically beat so he decided to go to bed and while he slept he had a dream he will never forget.  The very same Messenger appeared to him and told him not to change his plans about marriage because his fiancé was telling the truth in that her pregnancy was ordained by God to give birth to a son which they are to call Jesus interpreted ‘God saves’—because he will save his people from their sins.”  When he woke up, he did exactly as the Messenger instructed and never again cared that he wasn’t Mary’s baby’s daddy – at least biologically.  He loved that baby like he was his own.

There’s a saying: “Momma’s baby; daddy’s maybe.”   This was the case thousands of years ago but it is even more prevalent today.  I shared with some friends yesterday a true story about my eldest son discovering that his youngest child was not his biological son and that when baby’s mother voluntarily told me in humility that her son (Emmanuel) was not my son’s son.  It was disappointing but not devastating to the point that I wanted to take it out on the child and I told her that Emmanuel would always be my grandson.  In fact, unbeknownst to me, my ex-husband had the same reaction as I did.  We both said that Emmanuel is still my grandson. 

He is included in family functions, everyone embraces him and Emmanuel runs my son like a vacuum:  “Daddy, do this; give me that; come play spider man with me; etc. you would never know the difference.  I realize that my son’s love for Emmanuel may not be comparable to that of Joseph and Jesus, but every cotton picking time I see the two of them interact, the way he tenderly and selflessly cares for Emmanuel with all sincerity, it gives me a glimpse into the past of what it must have been like for Joseph to teach Jesus about life, respecting his mother, carpentry skills, etc.

I know this doesn’t come as a surprise, but “baby-daddy” drama and/or relationships aren’t anything new.   However, you may not be aware that they date back thousands of years and contrary to popular opinion, it is possible to have good healthy father-son relationships with men and boys that are not biologically related.  It’s also possible to co-parent children though you are no longer in a relationship with the parent, it’s a matter of choice and selflessness.

I’m out of time

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

My Epiphany Experience Pt. 1

Yesterday, December 18, 2014 I had an Epiphany experience that was absolutely “Omazing” (as my Sister, DeDe Felder says).  Here are the highlights:

The Journey:

After my morning prayer – yes seven (7) days a week and that includes “Satidays” and “Sundees” at 6 o’clock in the “morn’ting” – where I am joined by an average of 100+ men, women and even children, I did my workout, ate a healthy breakfast, got dressed and hooked up with my SiSee at our spot; picked up my Clear-Sister and headed to San Francisco (the City).   Thank God I gave myself ample commute time because we encountered traffic from the time we hit the Hwy 80/580 merge until we made it to our first destination.  Just before approaching the Powell Street exit I considered merging to the left to take advantage of the carpool lane but I hesitated for two reasons: 1) I was in the far right lane, traffic was quite heavy and I didn’t know if I would have enough time to maneuver my way over to the lane without getting caught in traffic that may have forced me to take Hwy 580 or 880 causing huge delays to our destinations; and 2) the carpool hours were over and I didn’t think it was worth the risk.  I had to make that calculation in a matter of seconds but because of my delayed response, I missed the opportunity to take the exit.

Out of the blue my co-pilot (SiSee) said: “you should have taken the carpool lane” to which I responded: “Yeah, I thought about it but it was too late to get over.”  My Clear-Sister says – in her authentic voice: “You could have saved about 30 minutes on our commute.”  OK well duh, but whatcha wanna sistah to do?  As we inched along in the traffic there was another opportunity for me to take a different carpool lane.  I hesitated again because there was a possibility that I could get a violation (at least that’s what I thought for some reason).  My sisters strongly encouraged me to take the lane, I considered the possible outcomes (a moving violation complete with an excessive fine, further delays OR saving about 30 minutes on our travel time) and decided to take the risk because logic said I wouldn’t get a ticket.  As I waited for the cars in the “lane” to zip by so I could zip in I said to my Clear-Sister who was giving directions from the backseat of my Bug: “If I get a ticket, I’m gonna tell them I’m your driver and you ordered me to take this lane”, at which we all fell out.  Once we took the exit I realized several cars were also taking this route so I felt a sense of relief, especially when I didn’t see a Highway Patrol person’s vehicle waiting to catch someone.

First Destination: 

The Bay Bridge had very little traffic once we crossed the toll plaza, but when we exited for the first destination, we were met with stop and go traffic again.  I was taken aback because traffic isn’t usually that heavy at 11:00 am, but I quickly discovered that one of the two available lanes was closed ahead.  Once we got past that hiccup we made it to the actual destination within about 7 minutes of exiting the freeway.  Nene, my ex-husband’s young adult cousin who calls me “Auntie” (primarily out of respect since my children, her 2^nd cousins, are her age) came out to meet me just as I pulled up.  I eagerly introduced her to my SiSee and my Clear-Sister; gave her the two autographed books she wanted, encouraged her to join us for the breakfast of champions or at least listen to the playback calls, especially the Declaration that we heard earlier that morning from DeDe Felder on “Soul Ties” (559-726-1300; 731222# -- seven days a week at 6am and/or 7am for Love Life and Victory-- https://www.facebook.com/ideclarevictory). 

Second Destination:

As we got closer to our final destination on Masonic Avenue, the neighborhood looked familiar.  I saw an elementary school that I seemed to recognize, but not really, if that makes sense.  I softly said out loud, “I think that’s my former school, Anza Elementary”, but my sisters didn’t respond.  I don’t think they were ignoring me, I think I said it so low they didn’t hear me.  We pulled into a narrow parking lot of a red brick building with no address and took a chance that we were at the right location.  Well not really, my Google-girl said I was at the right location but sometimes I don’t trust her especially if I don’t see the actual physical number.  I don’t know, call me special.  There was a parking space waiting there just for my Bug right in front of the door.  My Clear-Sister wasn’t sure if I should park there because she thought it was a loading zone.  I looked at it again and said: “No, I think we’re good, I’m gonna park here”.  After parking I approached the gated door but didn’t see a doorbell or intercom so I called the host of the event, Deborah the preaching-machine Hodges, to let her know we had arrived but the call went straight to voicemail.   The sign on the door directed visitors around the corner to the main entry.  I rolled my eyes and said to myself: “we already got on our “cute” shoes, we not walking all the way around the corner.”  Just as I walked back to the car, a woman pulled up and I asked the driver if this was the correct destination to which she responded: “Yes, you’re in the right place, I’ll let you in with my badge.”  Won’t He Will!!!  You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes.  Philippians 4:19 (The Message)

I began to assist with unloading the car because it’s the natural thing to do and my SiSee almost bit my head off reminding me that my job was to “Talk”, not to unload the car.  I looked at her, rolled my eyes and said – under my breath: ‘you ain’t the boss of me lady’ as I walked away toward the front of my car.  (Don't tell her I said that)  Then she ordered our Clear-Sister to get off the phone and come and help her.  As I stood by the car, I sarcastically asked if it was ok to carry my purse and she granted permission. 

Once inside we started to set up, at least they did, because my SiSee gave me the evil eye as I subconsciously started to help until I felt her eyes on me.  You know the look I’m talking about, when yo’ momma looks atcha and speaks with her eyes:  “try it if you won’t to and see what happens”; you know that look I’m talking about, don’t try to act like my mother is the only one that ever did that!!! LOL.   Chile, I found a chair, sat down and watched the dust as it fell from the ceiling.  Thankfully my Chocolate-Sister called before I got too bored from my activities to tell me she had arrived.  I directed her to our location and then asked her to create a book display but before doing so she fussed at me for not telling her to bring the items to make the setting “pretty”.  I was like: “well, man, all you gotta do is put the books on the table” and she was like, “I could have brought the stand from the book signing and this and that ….”.  Who do these “Chicks” think they are ordering me around!!!

Oh No!!  I’m about to lose battery power, I’m gonna have to stop for now, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

Freshly Squeezed Pt. 1

Ray made the best lemonade in a 50 mile radius of his hometown.   What started out as a hobby/favor for people (e.g. weddings, showers, birthday celebrations, church functions, etc.) was starting to flourish.   He had so many customers from referrals that he turned his garage into a mini manufacturing unit.  He refined the recipe down to a science and incorporated his family’s help.  People drove from miles around to purchase this addictive beverage by the gallons which was served best slightly frozen.    He paid his family a wage but invested his earnings back into the business, purchasing equipment that allowed them to work smarter not harder and once he had all of the equipment he needed he began to pay down some debt (e.g. credit card; revolving accounts and he even started to make extra mortgage payments).   After working the business on a part-time basis for about six years, they were debt free and the mortgage was nearly paid off!!

It couldn’t have happened at a better time because as life would have it Ray was notified his entire department was being phased out which meant that 300 employees would be jobless just before the Christmas Holidays, many of whom had been there for over 15 years.  He himself had worked for his employer, Just Juice a beverage company, for the past 22 years; he was literally three years shy of retiring.  They offered a decent severance package (including dental, vision and medical), but it that was only going to last for about 12 months.  He didn’t know how he was going to break the news to his wife, Sharon, so he decided he would wait until the weekend.   Over the next four days he worried about what she was going to say, think and how she would react.  She wasn’t money driven but she had been on worker’s compensation from a work related injury two years ago, her employer was playing hardball and it was becoming quite stressful for her which often triggered her injury.  It was a vicious cycle so Ray did his best to avoid stressful conversations but this was something that he couldn’t avoid or sweep under the rug.   All of their retirement plans had been altered when she went out on leave which was one of the reasons he placed more energy on the lemonade once he saw that they were making a profit from it.  Now that he was being laid off those plans were probably gonna go right out the window.

He knew the manufacturing business inside out but where was he going to start all over again at the age of 55? He had kids that were still in school:  Rayna was still in braces; Raymond, II aka Ray-2 was a sophomore in college; Ricky was a junior in college and Rita was graduating from high school in June of the following year.   They made good grades, they were focused and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them, but there was no way he was going to steal their dreams from them and deprive them of the things he and Sharon committed to, he just didn’t know how he was going to do it.   It was devastating news to the family. 

Saturday afternoon he decided to make some ribs to go with the “leftover” potato salad and greens Sharon had made the day before.  There wasn’t any more cornbread so he made a fresh batch of hot water cornbread which was a real treat for them.   They washed the leftovers down with some ice cold mint strawberry lemonade, a new recipe Ray had been experimenting with and they went bananas over it.  He then braced himself and broke the news to the family.  There was complete silence for about two minutes.  He dare not say a word, he just stared into his glass of lemonade and watched as the condensation formed and dripped down the glass onto his coaster which Sharon insisted they used to prevent water rings from forming on the dining room table.

Finally Sharon broke the silence and asked the question, what do you do when life throws you a bunch of lemons?  Rayna and Rita looked at their mother like she was crazy; Ray-2 shrugged his shoulders but Ricky and Ray got it almost immediately but they didn’t say anything.  Finally Sharon answered her own question, she said:  “you make lemonade.”  At that she turned to Ray and said:  “Look Babe, we are practically debt free from the lemonade business we have been playing at, can you imagine what would happen if we really focused our energies into making it profitable?  You’ve been in manufacturing for your entire adult life; you know lots of caterers, you love interacting with people and we have enough talent within our family to make this a legitimate business.  We’ve talked about starting our own business after retirement and though it hasn’t worked out the way we thought it would, we can still make it work.” 

Ray couldn’t believe how calm Sharon was.  She didn’t seemed stressed at all and the mere fact that the kids hadn’t gotten up from the table to move on to more things of interest had him absolutely stunned.   At that very moment it seemed like something had awakened inside him or like something had been ignited and the ideas started to flood his mind so quickly it was almost scary.  He looked at Rita who was a great note taker, administrator and loved to organize things and asked her to start taking notes for him and then he asked each of them what they believed their area of strength was.  Ricky was an amazing artist; Reyna could sell sand on the beach; Ray-2 was a social media guru and his wife, Sharon, kept everyone on task and of course he had the manufacturing experience and contacts.”  At that they all started to chime in about the possibilities and they began to dream as a family as they spoke life in to their father and husband.  They made a commitment to each other that night that they were going to give it “the lemonade business” 110% because failing wasn’t an option.  Ricky committed to creating a logo; Reyna committed to research labels and bottles that were a bit more professional and unique, Ray-2 committed to create the social media avenues and Reyna had already started to think about marketing strategies and Sharon gave everyone timelines for their projects. 

They were planted at the dinner table over the next several hours eating the last of the leftovers and chasing it with mint cherry lemonade as they discussed their future as a family.  They ended the evening with warmed walnut brownies ala mode and this prayer which was led by Rayna, the youngest:  “Father, thank you for our Dad and Mom.  Thank you that we have everything we need, each other.  We’re gonna give this lemonade business our very best and we’ll leave the rest up to you.  In Jesus Name, Amen.”  It was late and everyone else went to bed, except Ray, who decided he wanted to stay up a while longer.  He felt a pulling on his heart and knew he needed to spend some time with his Father.  After the room had been emptied, he went into the family room, stoked the fireplace, sat before it and allowed the heat to penetrate his body.  He listened as the wood crackled and popped and he watched the flames as they seemed to dance rapidly over the charring wood. 

It wasn’t long before his eyes began to sting from the tears that were forming and quickly began to stream down his cheeks.  He had held it together as long as he could but now the emotion came raging like a bull in a china cabinet.  The more he thought about what had just transpired the faster the tears filled his eyes.  And then it happened, he felt the overwhelming presence of his Father fill the room, the gentle soothing hands of his Son, Jesus on his shoulders as the Holy Spirit reminded him of the dream he had years ago about leaving Corporate America and following his dream to start a family business and here it was right before him.  Who would have thought that the lemon trees he planted, pruned and harvested with his children when they first purchased their home would have yielded such success? 

Just like Ray and his family you can chose to turn tragedy(ies) into triumph, it’s a simple matter of choice.   Genesis 20:50 (NLT): You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.  Nothing just happens, it all has meaning, you have to be willing to look for it, shoot, some times you have to dig for it.

I’m out of time, that’s it for now.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

This Little Light of Mine Pt. 3

To recap from This Little Light of Mine Pt. 2, we discussed the state of darkness that the world is in though ironically the world focuses on enlightenment (e.g. self, surroundings, spirituality, etc.).  I believe we agreed this is an oxymoron.  Why?  I think my Favorite Book can say it far better than I can:  “ …They are blind guides leading the blind, and if one blind person guides another, they will both fall into a ditch.”  Matthew 15:14 (NLT)

·       Society founded  "enlightenment" in the 18th century and subscribed to the belief that knowledge is light.

·       The tragedy was and is the emphasis on one aspect of knowledge, things: materialistic and biological.

·       Philosophers, educators and politicians have failed.  They are great at analyzing but no solution is offered.  Why?  They can’t give you what they don’t have.  Instead they filibuster and/or throw money at it (the problems) or at least give the appearance that they are.

So do we give up and call it a day?  Go to the Dollar Store to purchase Christmas Tree Lights and hang ourselves from the shower rod?  No, there’s never a need for us to give up.  We (Believers) have the answer.  The answer is The Light, Jesus Christ.  Why would I call him The Light?  I’ll let him tell you.  Go head Jesus, I’ll wait. 

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”  John 8:12 (NLT)  Jesus went hard didn’t he?

Let me interpret the above passage for you.  Basically Jesus is saying, I’m the deal, I’m the Big Daddy of Light, there is nothing and no one brighter, better or bigger than him.  Now that’s some OJ stuff right there, Original Jesus Stuff.  He can get away with that type of statement but don’t you try that at home or anywhere else for that matter.

Let’s go a little further in the narrative. 

2 Corinthians 4:4 (NLT):  Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.   

Tania Not Tania nugget:  Yes you heard it Satan is the god, with a little “G”, of this world, the earth.  Does that mean he is God. NO!!!!!  Does that make him equal to God, Almighty, who knows all, sees all and is everywhere all at the same time with the ability to reign in my heart, yours, yours and every other Believer without forgetting to answer our prayers, bless us, wake us up, speak a word to our individual circumstances whether it is directly, through someone or something.   Absolutely not.  Don’t get it twisted, Satan does have some power on loan, however, when it comes down to him wanting to use that power against us, he absolutely, unequivically, CANNOT, does not, compare to God’s immeasurable power, resources and/or abilities.  Even with the limited power that Satan has, he must, do you hear me, he must obtain God’s permission to use it to launch any attack against us.  Do you understand what this means?  We will never ever be subjected to return and/or remain in the darkness because God’s son, Jesus is our light and we have his guarantee that he will never ever leave nor forsake us.  Listen, even when we don’t know the outcome of our situation, etc. our pathway is still illuminated.

Referencing the text above, the God of this world blinds those who serve him, all unbelievers, from seeing the truth.  Stop banging your head against the wall trying to figure out whey So N So, Bobby Lee, Amy Jo and ‘nem don’t get it (the simple plan of Salvation), the text above answers that question for you; they are blind to the truth – seeing, understanding, believing -- the Good News.  They don’t understand it by the design of Satan.  Listen, you don’t know what you don’t know.  In a nutshell, the unbeliever’s god, blinds them, he hides the truth from them. Is that a cold piece or what?  Rather than portray frustration, exasperation, anxiety, etc. pray this little prayer:   “Father, I thank you for opening their eyes, ears and mind to the truth.

Philippians 2:12-16a (NLT): Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.  Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life ….

It’s important that we live in the light authentically and consistently, not just when church leaders, in particular a Pastor, can sees us.  That’s the wrong motive and their thank you, pat on the back affirming your work, if you get that, is about the only reward you’re going to get.  Do you not know that some people live for that type of affirmation?  That’s why they will cut your throat (metaphorically speaking, though some people might try to do so literally) to get that affirmation.  It’s amazing what people will do to be recognized.  

How can we live in the light?

·       Obey God with deep reverence and fear (Respect him and his word)

·       Respect the process because it is God who gave you the desire to do the right thing which is to please him;

·       Don’t complain, argue or criticize others;

·       Live clean innocent lives like little children

o   Not that we become naiive and allow people to walk all over us but to live free from worry, doubt and fear, blindly trusting that God will do exactly what he said he would

·       Get a bulldog grip on the Word and never ever let it go

There are so many scriptures on “the Light” being “a light” but not enough time to share them with you.  So instead I want to challenge you to review one of the bible applications (e.g. blueletterbible.com; youversion.com, etc.) search for the “the light”; read the scriptures that populate from the search and meditate on each one that “jumps out at you”.  Not every one of them will but the ones that you are meant to discover will.  Take note of them and record them somewhere because if the text “jumps out at you”, that is God’s way of speaking to you and there is a hidden treasure in that text waiting to be discovered by you.  The time is ripe now.

I want to close with this text:  2 Corinthans 5:20 (NLT):  So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 

What is an ambassador? Dictionary.com says s/he is: 1) a diplomatic official of the highest rank, sent by one sovereign or state to another as its resident representative; 2) a diplomatic official of the highest rank sent by a government to represent it on a temporary mission, as for negotiating a treaty; 3) a diplomatic official serving as permanent head of a country's mission to the United Nations or some other international organization; 4) an authorized messenger or representative

Christ’s diplomatic officials are not like: Candlelights, Skylights, Christmas Lights, Light switches, Flashlights, Blacklights or Flickering Lights, we are The Light of The World.  Matthew 5:16

Got Light?  I’m out of time, that’s it for now.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

This Little Light Pt. 2

Yesterday I told you about my encounter with Darlene from the gym who walked up to me out of the blue while I was minding my own business and said: “You can’t hide, we see you …” The irony is that I wasn’t really trying to hide, I just wanted to be by myself so that I could get my cardio in on the Elyptical machine, participate in the collective prayer and our Love Live and Victory dialogue after the prayer.  I love the convenience of my smart phone, but I don’t want other people listening to my conversations and I certainly don’t want to hear there’s but that’s a different subject altogether.  As a result of that short exchange with Miss Darlene, it led me to memories of learning children’s gospel songs while attending Vacation Bible School, YPWW (Young People’s Willing Workers), Sunshine Band, and Sunday School, one of which was “This Little Light ofMine”.  Such a simple but powerful declaration.  

That song is a child’s interpretation of Matthew 5:14-15 (NLT): You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.   I shared this text yesterday but I also focused on verse 13 which compares Believers to salt.  Not “salty” as we use the term today but as:

·       A spiritual preservative to the world by interceding for them; and

·       Bringing flavor, zest with us wherever we go.  When we walk into a room we should change and charge the atmosphere with our light, our energy, the fire for Christ and for life that we have.

o   A youngster by the name of Jeremiah is an contributor to my Favorite Book.  One of the passages he wrote is:  But if I say I’ll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones!  Jeremiah 20:9 (NLT)

 And that’s a great place to continue:

The world is in a state of darkness.  This was and still is the basic Christian premise.

o   The world always focuses on enlightenment (e.g. self, surroundings, spitiuality, etc.).

o   It’s oxymoronic because they are in perpetual darkneess and some of them think they are becoming enlightened but they really aren’t.  Instead of moving upward, it’s like they are mocking time while the world rotates past them giving the illusion that they are actually moving forward when they are only digging themselves into a deeper pit.

·       Society founded  "enlightenment" in the 18th century and subscribed to the belief that knowledge is light.

·       The tragedy was and is the emphasis on one aspect of knowledge -- things – materialistic and biological.

o   The problem is that sinful man doesn’t know what to do with knowledge.

§  In many instances it is exploited, sold to the highest bidder and used for selfish purposes that could harm the average Joe Brown or Ann Smith

o   As a result knowledge of human relationships has never been worse (e.g. marriages, siblings, parental, etc.)

o   The moral fabric of our belief system has deteriorated primarily because man depends on his own knowledge which is absurd because it’s like a blind man driving a double decker tour bus full of people site seeing with blinders and hoods on.  It’s insane.

·       Philosophers, educators and politicians have failed.  They are great at analyzing but no solution is offered.  They don’t know the real problem nor how to solve it so they filibuster and/or throw money at it (the problems) or at least give the appearance that they are.

The Christian (The Light) has the only answer to the darkness but sadly some of us intentionally hide our light out of ignorance and/or selfishness.  Can you imagine where you would be if the person who shared Christ with you decided to press mute; or if they decided to give in to the challenges that they were facing and call it quits.  I don’t know about you but that’s a scarry thought for me.

Referencing my Favorite Book, if we skip over to John 8:12 (NLT) we see Jesus talking to a group of lawyers who had confronted him about the following statement: Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” 

I don’t know if you realize it or not, but that’s a huge statement, “I am the light of the world”.  In otherwords there is nothing brighter, better or bigger than him, Jesus, the son of man and the son of God who was a humble carpenter that helped to build and repairs homes, etc. but he did far more spiritual building and repairng than he did commercial.

Jesus isn’t just the light to the Jews, he is the light of the entire world, which includes you and me.  The visible light of the world is the sun, and Christ is the Sun of righteousness. One sun enlightens the whole world, so does one Christ and we don’t need any other light because there is no room for any additional light. Christ in calling himself the light expresses: 1) What he is in himself-most excellent and glorious; 2) What he is to the world-the fountain of light, enlightening every man.   Can you imagine the darkness and chaos without the sun! So would it be without Christ by whom light came into the world.

If Christ is the light, then it is our duty to follow him, to submit ourselves to his guidance, and in every thing take directions from him, in the way that leads to happiness. Many follow false lights that lead them to destruction; but Christ is the true light.  It’s not enough to look at this light we must follow it, believe in it, and walk in it, for it is a light to our feet, not our eyes only. Secondly, it is the happiness of those who follow Christ that won’t walk in darkness. They won’t be left destitute of those instructions in the way of truth which are necessary to keep them from destroying themselves and those around them. They will have the light of life, that knowledge and enjoyment of God which will be to them the light of spiritual life in this world and of everlasting life in the other world, where there will be no death nor darkness. Follow Christ, and we will undoubtedly be happy in both worlds. Follow Christ, and we will follow him to heaven.   Do you realize that Jesus was the original Tweeter?  The technology is just now catching up to him.

I’m out of time, we'll pick it up tomorrow.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya