David
their father on the other hand was completely opposite: he talked at a medium paced tempo, he was a very
logical deliberate thinker who generally asked questions first and then made
decisions which saved the family countless drama and probably some jail time. After 18 years of marriage to the love of his
life, Somali, he had long mastered the art of communicating with this fast
talking family and dealing with her “fast” talking extended family. But Sammy was
different than all of them.
He
was laid back and analytical like his dad, David, but he talked slow, when he
did talk. He was a Capricorn, not very
emotional at all; very observant and seemed to have an uncanny knack for saying
just the right thing at just the right time though his comments quite often “sounded”
much older than he was in years. When he
opened his mouth it was heir-apparent that he was an old soul who marched to a
beat of a different drum, enjoyed his time of solitude (which wasn’t easy to do
in a house of eight) but he learned how to tune everyone out and he could do so
without ear buds. Besides, David
established rules in his home that they dare violate: 1) ear buds were for
private time while studying or going to sleep but they better not be so loud
that his children couldn’t hear their parents call for them and 2) the use of
electronics at the dinner table or during family discussions was forbidden.
Somali
and David knew Sammy was different and they tried hard not to make a difference
but at the same time they had to find ways to build his confidence and
cultivate his analytical nature. They
did a really good job at home, but they couldn’t always be there to protect him
outside of the home. Because of Sammy’s
quiet demeanor; intentional delayed reaction and his dis-interest in the common
things that over stimulated most children in his age category (video games,
reality shows, “devilment” – as my mother would say, etc.) he stuck out like a
sore thumb and was teased quite often by the minors in his immediate and
extended family for being “different”. His
quiet nature and slow speech were partly to blame, but the fact that he was the
lightest child in his immediate family only made matters worse. He was the stupid “retard” yellow boy amongst his family on the
DL but they dare let their parents
hear them tease him or they would find it hard to sit for at least a week. Unbeknownst to him the teasing from his
family helped to prepare him for the outside world.
It
was one thing for his family to tease him but his family better not ever find out
that anyone outside the family was teasing him because the cost of doing so
would be very expensive. It only took a
few people in the neighborhood to pay the price before word quickly spread that
Sammy was hands off. The truth of the
matter was that Sammy could fight and be just as aggressive as his siblings and
extended family, he just chose that as a last resort and he chose not to run to
his family when he felt intimidated unless it was an extreme case of “hateration”
but that was very rare. Besides, the
last thing Sammy wanted was to ask his family for help because that would give
them additional ammunition against him and his little plate was already full of drama.
From
the time he could remember, as early as Kindergarten, he was always the brunt
of a joke or the object of the bully’s attention because they assumed his quiet
demeanor, slow speech and limited speaking meant he was stupid, dumb or a “retard”
as they called him. When he did the
right thing by reporting the teasing to his teacher she said “stupid” things
like: “Sammy, sticks and stones may
break your bones but words will never hurt you.” One day he had had enough of the teasing and reported
it to his teacher (who must have been having a “bad” day) when she repeated
that ridiculous “sticks and stones” verbiage to him. Instinctively he looked at her with tears in
his eyes and said: “then can you please tell
my stomach to stop hurting when they laugh at me and tease me?” His teacher turned tomato red and told him to
have a seat on the bench until recess was over.
From that point on he made a decision not to report anything else to his
teachers because it was useless, instead he did his best to avoid the bullies but
when he couldn’t he very often ended up in tears which only made matters worse
because they teased him about being a “cry baby” in addition to being a
“stupid, dumb ‘retard’”. That’s a lot of pressure for a six or seven
year old kid who has no idea why he is being teased and called names. Out of frustration one day he lashed out at
one of the boys who had been teasing him and ended up in the Principal’s office
where he cried the entire time he waited.
Miss Karen, the school secretary, was shocked to see him and asked what
happened. He did his best to explain
what happened. When she discovered who
the culprit was and figured the story out she gave Sammy some advice and
challenged him to try it. As soon as she
finished the Principal called him in the office, lectured him and warned him not to be sent to the office again or he would regret it.
That was enough for Sammy he decided he was going to figure out another
way to deal with those guys.
True
to form at recess the next week, the boys made their way to Sammy and started
teasing him but this time he didn’t cry.
Something inside him stood up when he remembered Miss Karen’s
advice. She said that when you respond
with anger to an angry person(s) it makes things worse, but when you can respond
with kind words it helps the anger to go away.
Sammy decided these knuckleheads weren’t worth the oxygen it took to
speak so he just looked at them all like they were stupid. They continued to antagonize them, but then
he tried the second thing Miss Karen told him to do: he started to say the
alphabet backwards in his head. He got
so caught up trying to remember what came after “W” that he completely tuned
the boys out and before you know it they seemed to tuck their tails and leave. At first it was hard to stand there and take
their criticism but when he focused on saying the alphabet backwards and
realized they were all leaving, he felt empowered almost invincible at the ripe
old age of eight years old. He went on to use those same skills as he aged.
I'm out of time, we'll pick it up tomorrow
In His New Excellence
Tania not Tanya
I'm out of time, we'll pick it up tomorrow
In His New Excellence
Tania not Tanya
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