I
literally had several epiphanies during yesterday’s blog that I
had not considered until I was mid-sentenced sharing with you. For example:
Epiphany
1: I was a goal setting resourceful dreamer with tenacity, determination and a
no quit attitude as young as six years old.
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I
spoke with my 81 year old mother yesterday about my formative years when we
lived in the Fillmore. She reminded me
that the address to our bi-level Victorian styled duplex was 2539 Post
Street. As I rattled off my
recollections it seemed to me that her thoughts were sparked just enough to ignite
some memory of some of the things I recalled about me having resolve, tenacity
and determination as a young child. I am
blessed that my mother was hands-on and loved being a mother. She taught me so many things about being a
lady, wife, mother, servant, etc.
Epiphany
2: my mother served as a mediator (aka
go-between) for me to my father. But I
had a role to play:
- I had to understand that my mother was a resource, an advocate and could speak on my behalf to my father far better than I could articulate and/or express;
- I thought about my options;
- I Decided specifically what I wanted;
- I Opened my mouth; and
- I Spoke
authentically from my heart to effectively make my request known to my
mediator, my mother, as I exercised my child-like faith, believing with all my
heart she would help me.
My
inadequacies and ignorance as a young six year old made me ill-equipped to take
on the responsibility of supplying my own need(s). I didn’t have the capacity for it then and I
still don’t to this day. Therefore, it wasn’t
necessary for me to have a bunch of details, specs, price quotes, etc. because
my mother knew me well enough to know my heart and she could feel my passion
about the “ask”. Once I asked she
assured me she would take care of everything.
It was a done deal at that point as far as I was concerned because I had
done my part (asked and believed). There was no need for me
to worry, become anxious, fearful or doubtful.
In fact I did just the opposite, I dreamed about my new skates, couldn’t
wait to get them and knowing me I told the “big kids” I was getting my new
skates any day now. Not as an obnoxious bratty
little kid but as a confident child who believed in the power of (the)
ask. Most importantly I knew it was a
done deal because my mother had never let me down; she always kept her word
even if that word was “NO”.
Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Romans 8:34 (NKJV) The NLT says: and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
This
relationship has a very close parallel to that of Christ and his children (you
and me) even though Christ is not female as my mother. Very often we have a desire, some may describe
it as a wish, but it’s much deeper than that.
We find the courage to pray (ask) the Lord (Jesus Christ) about the
thing(s) we need and desire. We may not
pray (ask) as eloquently as others because it’s foreign to us for a variety of
reasons: (e.g. not used to praying; condemnation; feeling unworthy; undeserving,
etc.) but you decide to pray (ask) regardless of how you “feel”. You approach him not really even knowing what
to say or how to say it but when you finally open your mouth and release the
words they flow as effortless as a waterfall cascading over a cliff. Somehow with no explanation and/or physical
confirmation you know you were heard and that he’s gonna come through for
you. You may not get it as instantly as
I did yesterday after meeting the need of someone and less than 10 minutes
later the money I planted was return with a bunch of interest. You may not even get it the second or third
day but when the Lord comes through, he comes through in a big way and you have
everything you need and some, simply because you opened your mouth and asked. Is anybody else excited about that other than
me?
Tania
Not Tanya nugget: God is not obligated
to supply our wants, only our needs according to Philippians 4:19 (NLT) And this
same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious
riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
Learning
to skate includes falling and sometimes those falls can be quite nasty. However, a good skater doesn’t focus on the
fall, s/he focuses on quickly getting back up and doing it again and again and
again and again because the more we work at something the better we become. Ultimately the falls will be far and few
between, though still a reality as the art of skating is refined.
For
everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Romans 3:23 (NLT)
Once
I mastered the hill I realized I could skate anywhere. Do you hear me, anywhere: flat lands, mini
hills, indoor roller rinks, etc. It didn’t
matter because I had mastered the hills in my little six year old life through
patience, perseverance, determination, tenacity and a no quit attitude. Today at 54 years old, I absolutely will not
apologize for the amazing and fearfully made incredible woman I have been transformed
into as a result of renewing my mind. I
worked hard to become who I am: denying myself certain activities; keeping my
mouth shut when I wanted to go off; fasting; consecrations; praying; studying; tolerating
unnecessary drama, humbling myself before God and people, submitting to
leadership, and learning from the many life lessons that God orchestrated in my
life.
I
am humbled that God made a choice of me to suffer for him, to be an example, to
be assigned the lessons that tried to make me drown in my own tears or
suffocate from the pressure that came at me on every side. I am so thankful that I listened to him and
followed his instructions in spite of what others thought or their
opinions. At some point you gotta decide
to put on your skates, lace them up tight enough so they won’t come lose and
skate on top of the hill.
Tania
Not Tanya: What do I mean? For me, the hill represents the mountainous
drama in our lives. The skates represent
the shoes of peace and, as shoes for your
feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6:15
(ESV). Because it is absolutely
oxy-moronic to be defeated and victorious at the same time, “rollin’” on the
drama when you first see it rising and for the duration produces strength for
the “skating” lesson.
Don’t
be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10 (NLT)
In
His New Excellence,
Tania
not Tanya
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