The girls were immersed in their play time in the family
room. Mrs. Brown needed to run across
the street to get something from a neighbor.
She went to the family room and told the girls she would be right
back. Reggie, Kim’s 18 year old brother,
heard his mother when she told the girls she would be right back. Reggie was high as usual and he knew that
Carmel had a crush on him. He went into
the room where the girls were playing, sat down by Carmel and asked if he could
play as her husband to which she innocently agreed. Kim got mad and told him to get out and leave
them alone. He looked at Carmel and
asked if she wanted him to stay and she said she didn’t care. Reggie then told Kim to go get him a Capri
Sun but when she protested, he threatened to tell their mother that she was the
one that broke the DVD player last week (even though it was really him). Against her better judgment she left the two
of them in family room. Reggie suggested
they play tag instead and she agreed. She
chased him and he let her catch him and then they reversed roles but when he caught
her he threw her down on the couch. When
she protested and tried to push him off, he laughed at her and called her a big
baby and let her go. She nervously tried
to laugh it off, but she was starting to feel uncomfortable. He grabbed for her again but she escaped his
grasp and ran for the family room door, but he beat her to it and locked it,
just as Kim arrived with the Capri Sun. She tried to open the door but when she
discovered it was locked she banged on the door and told him to open it. Reggie ignored her as he pursued Carmel. She got really scared and ran from him, but
he pinned her down on the couch again.
She looked in his eyes and could see that something was different about
him. Kim was banging on the door yelling
for him to open it, but he laughed at her.
Carmel was starting to panic. She
didn’t understand what was happening, but she knew something was wrong. She yelled for him to get off of her but he
wouldn’t budge. He continued to
antagonize her saying that she knew she liked him and this is how big people
play house. During the commotion Mario
and Renaldo, Kim’s brothers, ran upstairs to see what was going on. She told them that Reggie locked Carmel in
the room. Ironically Mrs. Brown returned
to see the panicked look on her sons face and Kim crying and banging on the
door. It didn’t take Mrs. Brown long to
figure out what was going on. She banged
on the door and demanded that Reggie open door.
He conceded, released Carmel and opened the door. Mrs. Brown slapped Reggie so hard in the face
that she left a hand print on his high yellow cheek and he stormed out of the
room. Carmel was in shock, she stood
near the couch frozen and then the tears gushed out of her eyes though she
never said a word. Mrs. Brown consoled Carmel and told her that
Reggie was just playing and that he didn’t mean any harm. She took her in the kitchen and gave the
girls some ice cream, which Carmel barely ate, as she continued to try to convince
her that Reggie didn’t mean any harm, but then she made Carmel promise not to
tell anyone what happened. Carmel never
told anyone what happened, she never spoke about it with Kim and she never went
to Kim’s house again. She buried that
confusing summer afternoon so far down in her subconscious until she forgot it
ever happened until recently.”
The audience of women from the Hope Street Women’s Group were
in shock when Vanessa, the person telling the story, confessed that Carmel’s
story was really hers. Vanessa was interning
for her Master’s program at Hope Street where she had been facilitating the group
meetings for the past six months. It
wasn’t her intention to go in that direction but the Holy Spirit completely
changed her lesson plan for that evening and told her to share her story.
She continued: “At
first I thought I was tripping, but then the memories started to come back. I can’t remember Reggie’s face, just that he
was tall, slender, light skinned and he had dark curly hair, but I can remember
the fear and confusion. I remember
praising God for protecting me from what could have been a horrific life
altering experience. I realize that some
of you may have had similar experiences and I want to share what the Lord has
given me for you:
Ladies, you are not your past and it is not your fault. We cannot blame ourselves for someone else’s
sick behavior. I will not minimalize
your pain, but if you don’t get past it and forgive the perpetrator you will
live locked in your own prison of condemnation for the rest of your life.
Some of the words synonymous with condemnation are:
damnation, denunciation, reproach, reprobation, doom, disapproval. These words are not uplifting, gracious or
attractive. Colossians 4:6 (NLT) says: Let your conversation be
gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone
(including yourself).
Those accusations that you keep rewinding
in your head over and over and over come from the accuser himself, the devil. Revelations
12:10 (NLT) Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, “It has come
at last—salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of
his Christ. For the accuser of our
brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth the one who accuses them before
our God day and night. As long as
you accept his accusatory message, he will have a stronghold over you. How many of you want to give the devil that
kind of control? Right, I thought so.
Jesus said: So if the Son sets you free, you are truly
free. John 8:36 (NLT). Period,
end of story, no more discussion. But if
you remain in your condemnation cell, you will remain a prisoner of your own
devices, self-condemnation.
I tell
you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have
eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have
already passed from death into life.
John 5:24 (NLT)
Never means: not ever; at no time; not
at all; absolutely not; to no extent or degree:
In His Humble Excellence
Tan
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