Peace Pt. 3

Jessica was always taller than her classmates and friends.  She even towered over her parents at 6’1’.  She was self-conscious about her height and angry during puberty.  The only time her dad, Chester, saw her really happy was when they spent time with his family in Connecticut, where she got her height.  Unfortunately the 3,000 mile distance made it difficult for her to be with them as much as she liked.  When Chester asked what she wanted as a gift for her high school graduation, he was dumfounded when she responded that she wanted to spend time with his family in Connecticut.  There was nothing wrong with her request, it just threw him off because she had talked about a car for graduation since her first day as a sophomore and he would have gladly obliged her because of the significant change in her attitude and her grades as an honor student.  He sat in the living room and reflected on the events that took place the past few years. 

His wife of 10 years whom he loved and adored as much as he knew how, decided one day that she

no longer wanted to be a mother or a wife.  He did his best as the priest, provider, protector, husband and father of his home, but the closer he got to God the wider the gap between them seemed to increase.  She was more interested in a single life while being married, partying and listening to her family, all of whom were single bitter women with baby daddy drama. Out of nowhere, Cristal, his ex-wife moved out of the house and filed for a divorce.  He was devastated but his girls fell to pieces.  As he recalled those events, he had an epiphany and realized it wasn’t all of a sudden.  The signs were there, he just had his head in the sand of denial because so many of his church leaders told him that as the man it was his responsibility to take a stand against sin and force her to come to church.  That never sat well with him and though he did follow their lead initially, he stopped because of Cristal’s resistance and instead decided to love her where she was, believing that he could love her back into wholeness or that she would get past whatever phase she was going through.  If there are any regrets it’s that he didn’t follow his instinct to take a step back sooner and that he didn’t accept the referral to a Christian marital counselor from a non-denominational pastor friend. 

Nothing prepared him for the devastation that he saw and experienced with his children, Jessica and Jasayah who were 14 and 8 at the time of the divorce.  Jasayah had her moments of crying especially when she saw her big sister crying but it didn’t seem to faze her as much, in part he thought because Cristal didn’t bond with Jasayah.  He was no expert but it seemed like her maternal instinct packed up and left because he was the primary caretaker since Jasayah’s was a newborn.   It was harder on Jessica who experienced her mom’s rejection though she tried desperately to please her mom so she shut down and became an angry teenager.   It hurt Chester to see his daughter fight a losing battle so valiantly.  He tried to explain to Jessica that it wasn’t her fault but it seemed to do no good.  Cristal didn’t like herself, she was a broken bitter woman that hid her true self for as long as she could and was too weak and selfish to fight for anyone other than herself.    

He didn’t look back from a place of hurt or being stuck, but a place of thanksgiving to God for blessing him to raise such amazing daughters with the help of his sister, Nettaree.  She was the realist woman he knew, besides their mother, who loved God more than she did her own life.  She was a blessing to the girls but a God-send to him.  She put everything on hold for a year to help him with the girls.  As a licensed psychologist and senior partner in private practice she dealt with similar cases quite often but more importantly she has a ministry of peace and reconciliation.  She taught them how to forgive, release and move on from a place of Christ-centered peace.  However, her lessons to him were more intense as she taught him how to engage the enemy from a strategic vantage point using the weapons that God provided for every battle that we face.  He was familiar with spiritual warfare, but not as Netta taught him, which was:

·       Fast:  However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.  Matthew 17:21 (NKJV); My knees are weak from fasting, and I am skin and bones.  Psalms 109:24 (NLT).  Chester had fasted so much, so often that he had lost and kept off about 20 pounds.  He was hungry for God and wanted healing for his daughters more than he wanted to breath;

·       Pray: He read books on prayer and had the discipline of praying down to a science: the position of, when to, what to, how to, who to pray for and when to stop.  If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 (NKJV)

·       Study the Word:  he studied topics specific to his pain: forgiveness, healing, restoration, prayer.  With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.  Psalm 119:10 (NLT); Work hard [Study] so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 (NLT)

·       Praise and Worship: It is impossible to praise God and be angry, mad or sad at the same time.  I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvelous works.  Psalms 9:1; Praise ye the LORD. I will praise the LORD with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, and in the congregation. Psalms 111:1; Singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. Ephesians 5:19.  

In the process of seeking God he became a bona find God Chaser, not to say that he over spiritualized everything, because he did not, instead, he understood his journey, cause and his assignment in life more clearly than ever.   

For a fleeting moment it saddened him that he had spent so much time at one ministry only to discover that there was far more for him to learn than what he currently knew.  What was most troubling was how his church family judged him for the divorce which included alienating the girls and removing him from a senior position.  He made the decision to leave the ministry, not out of spite but because he wasn’t growing and he felt the release of the Lord years ago, he only stayed out of miss-placed loyalty.   So Jessica’s request confirmed what he had already been contemplating, relocating back to Connecticut to be with his extended family.  

He heard the girls call him for dinner but he stayed back long enough to wipe the tears from his face and get himself together.  The tears he shed slid down his caramel brown cheeks easily because they were tears of thanksgiving to God because he had done it again, answered his prayer.

In His Humble Excellence

Tania

Peace Pt. 2

Yesterday we discussed 1) the terror that many of us initiate by the constant doubt, anxiety, worry, etc. that we focus on; 2) the expectation of Christ-centered peace if we maintain an active prayer life according to Philippians 4:6; and 3) God’s willingness to give us a strategic plan guaranteed to succeed if we ask (pray) in faith; believe (trust) that he will answer us and thank him in advance of the manifestation of that request.  Today I want to focus maintaining peace.    

Some of the things that have helped me are to: 

·       Be confident: Webster defines confident as:  having strong belief or full assurance; sure.  My heart is confident in you O God, my heart is confident, no wonder I can sing praises.  Psalms 57:7 (NLT) and They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.  Psalms 112:7 (NLT)

 ·      Avoid sticky places, people and things.  If your peace and all that it represents is in jeopardy, it may be vital to your survival that you separate from it temporarily or permanently.  In other words you may need to take a sabbatical from that which causes you anxiety including extended family, friends, associates and church folk.  Dionne The Radical Midwife says it all the time: in the event of an emergency, place the oxygen mask over yourself and then assist others.  I need you to consider that if as a result of the lack of peace you check out of here prematurely due to a stress related illness (Heart disease, Asthma, Obesity, Diabetes, Headaches, Gastrointestinal problems, Accelerated aging, Depression and anxiety) who can you assist?  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7 (NLT) God’s peace will guard our hearts and minds but we have to do our part which means deciding wisely how and with whom we spend our time.  However, if a time should arise when we have to be exposed to those people or things, God gave us an assurance that his peace will guard our hearts and minds.

o   If you are arguing with me about extended sabbaticals, you don’t have to listen to a thing I say.  You have a right to live in torment, but for those who want change, who want to be free from the bondage of torment and terror, you’re gonna have to do something different to get different results.  Anything less is insanity.

·       Change the channel: stay focused; put it (your mind) on lock.  We are all guilty of pressing play and rewind on events that have hurt us and we will gladly regurgitate the scenes to those that will listen.  What purpose does it serve?  My first thought is that it allows us to release what we experienced, however, if we are still pressing play and rewind with the same fervor that we did when the drama first aired, that’s a problem.  If we press play and rewind so much that we neglect our responsibilities, miss meals, don’t pray, read our word, cannot function, etc., that’s a problem.  We have to decide to turn the drama off and/or change the channel because if you’re waiting for God to do it, he ain’t coming.  God will not do things for us that we can do for ourselves.  How do we change the channel?  I’m so glad you asked.  When the old self-defeated, anxious, accusatory depressing thoughts pop up, you have to combat them with the word (your sword). 

Victory Nugget:  That’s why it is so important for you to read and study your word – it’s your secret weapon.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:4 (NIV).  A stronghold is a well-fortified place; fortress.  Are you really going to allow the enemy to fortify himself in your mind?  Are you going to allow him to continue to dictate your outcome by controlling your thoughts, actions and your life?  Really?

Secret Weapon One

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Every time a negative thought pops up, change the channel with this scripture.  It is extremely effective when you can say it out loud and the louder the better to drown out the enemy’s negative press.  Obviously if you are at work in a public place it may not be a good idea to shout the words out loud.  If all you can do is whisper them, then do so.  If you can’t whisper the verse out loud then say it in your mind.

Secret Weapon Number Two

In the privacy of your home or car get a pot/pan; a serving spoon (metal has the best effect); quote Philippians 4:8 out loud and beat the pot/pan as you quote the scripture.  The louder the better.  I guarantee you will drive that accusatory spirit out of your space

I’m out of time, we’ll pick it up tomorrow

In His Humble Service

Tania

Peace Pt. 1

Last week we discussed declarations in great detail.  Making and believing our declarations creates an environment of peace.  When we are not at peace we are in torment and most of the time we torment and terrorize ourselves with our thoughts. 

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Philippians 4:6 (NLT) This text was written by Apostle Paul whom I have mentioned on many occasions.  Paul is trying to get us to understand that Christ gives us a measure of his own peace when we make everything pertaining to life about prayer.  However, this peace is conditional, we must include prayer as a part of our decision making process.  So often we have anxiety, worry, etc. because we excluded God and that’s not a good thing because he knows our past, present and future.  Obviously there are common sense decisions that we don’t need to include God in (e.g. Scope or Listerine; Mac or Revlon; Tide or Gain, go to work or call in sick, watch television or read, etc.)  However, the more complex decisions, those that stump us are when we should include God, for example:  multiple job offers; relational situation; finances; health; etc. 

Victory Thought:  The exception to the common sense rule is when you are unsure about decisions that are life threatening; life changing or you’re trying to make the best decision due to limited finances, etc.)  The bottom line is that we can ask God about any and everything, but we don’t have to remain in a state of paralysis about the basics, that’s why God equipped us with common sense and the Holy Spirit.  

While we don’t want to over-spiritualize our situations (for lack of a better term) because it is important to have balance, but God is not going to do things for us that we can do for ourselves.  For example: you want to get out of debt he is not going to stop you from charging the outfit or tools you don’t need; or make you use the extra money you got from overtime on your monthly credit card payment.  However, if pray for a strategic plan, use common sense and self-control he will guide you.

We cannot obtain the Christ centered peace as described in Philippians 4:6 as described by Apostle Paul making decisions on our own and then expect to have peace behind them if he wasn’t included in the process.  He loves us enough to help us when we make the wrong choices, but he doesn’t expect us to keep making those types of mistakes (excluding him).  God literally wants to help us with decisions, he doesn’t mind if we pester him, in fact I don’t know it’s possible to ask him for too much, too often if your heart is in the right place.  You would be surprised as to how much smoother life would be when we include God before, not after the fact.  Do you realize that God will give you a strategic plan if you ask him?  Yeah, seriously he will. 

We know that God is love but he is peace as well and he desires that we have that peace, not when we get to heaven but here on earth when we need it the most.  Those times when we are facing the giants that are trying to crush us, the enemy that is trying to kill us and ourselves as we sabotage our own success (whatever that looks like for you).  In fact Christ willed peace to us when he was here on earth.   

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.  John 14:27 (NLT)

Peace (Webster):  cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension; the normal, nonwarring

condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world; a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, especially in personal relations.

I found it ironic that the definition of the word peace speaks more about nations and the world than it does with individuals.  While I am no expert with national peace I do have a little more knowledge about individual peace. 

The opposite of peace:

Torment (Webster):  to afflict with great bodily or mental suffering; pain; to worry or annoy excessively: to torment one with questions; to throw into commotion; stir up; disturb.

Terror:  intense, sharp, overmastering fear; an instance or cause of intense fear or anxiety; quality of causing terror; violence or threats of violence used for intimidation or coercion

Christ centered peace is not something you can buy, sell, earn or steal. Well maybe you can steal it through self-medication (food, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.) but it will only be temporary.  Jesus said he left this peace of mind and heart for us because he knew that we would need it.  The lack of peace will rob you of one of your most basic essentials, which is sleep to rest our minds, bodies and spirit from the activities we engaged in earlier.  However, if you are being tormented with worry, anxiety, shudda cudda wudda thoughts, etc. ultimately terrorizing ourselves causing depression, weight loss, inability to work, function property, pray, be a witness to others, etc. what good are you to your loved ones or the kingdom? 

Philippians 4:6 encourages us to develop and maintain a prayer life.   This means trusting God to hear and answer our prayers which boils down to faith.  Faith is foundational to our relationship with God.  Faith, trust, prayer and thanksgiving are all intertwined.  We pray in faith and believe (trust) God will answer our prayers and then thank him in advance for answering us. 

We can make a decision to stop terrorizing and tormenting ourselves right now, today.  You can stop looking or an answer, this is it.  Moving forward pray about your decisions in advance rather than asking God to do damage control.  But be on guard for the torment: anxiety, doubt, etc. and shut it down with statements like: God I thank you for giving me the answer to my prayer(s); God I thank you that I am not going to worry; God I am going to trust you and I give you praise in advance for the answer.    

I’m out of time, we’ll pick it up tomorrow

In His Humber Service