Shamar made it to church early for a change. Though she and her family leave their home, which is a forty minute one way commute with no traffic, at least an hour early it’s always a crap shoot as to whether she will be walking or running into pray with the worship team. She spoke to, smiled and/or nodded to as many people as she could while making her way to the restroom. This had become an intentional routine to avoid accusations of overlooking people who seemed to think she needed to initiate the “good morning, God bless you”, smile or nod instead of them. It was odd that sometimes the “accusers” pretended to be in deep conversation or repositioned themselves so their back was to her as she approached so they wouldn’t have to acknowledge her sincere greetings. It didn’t offend her, sometimes it was actually quite comical because the Holy Spirit revealed their actions to her. Inwardly she just shook her head and thought, oh well, whatever, God is good and I am not going to start Sunday morning off with drama initiated by the enemy.
When she made it to the rear restroom,
she had to wait because both stalls were occupied. The two women speaking clearly didn’t hear
her come in because they continued their conversation. The first voice she recognized was very distinguishable
because it was deep for a woman, we’ll call her Daffodil. She also recognized the second voice, we’ll
call her Pebbles. When she realized they
were talking about her, Shamar didn’t know if she should leave or stay and
while she was trying to decide what to do, the toilet flushed and Pebbles emerged
with her head down as she straightened her dress out and then almost fell over
backwards when she made eye contact with Shamar. Right on cue, without knowing she was being
cued up to exit her stall, Daffodil emerged still spewing words she would live
to regret, as she simultaneously made eyeball to eyeball contact with Shamar. The look on their faces was absolutely
priceless. If they would have had any more
water left in them, they probably would have lost it right where they stood.
The partial conversation Shamar heard
was … Daffodil: “Why can’t we just sing together.” Pebbles:
“I don’t know.” Daffodil: “I don’t
understand why she always has to make things so difficult. She ain’t the only one that can lead Praise
and Worship. People get tired of hearing
her, they need to let other people lead out, like us.” There was more to say,
but seeing Shamar as they exited the stalls halted the comments. Shamar made eye contact with both of them and
said “Good Morning ladies” to which neither of them replied. Then she looked directly at Daffodil and
said: “Oh, and by the way, the new
direction was a pastoral decision, it may be best that you speak with him if
you need clarity.” Daffodil said: “Oh”
and Pebbles never uttered a sound. They
were both so frazzled they forgot to wash their hands and quickly made their escape.
Shamar stood in the restroom for a few
minutes trying to collect her thoughts.
Inside she hurt deeply, it felt like someone drove a knife through her
stomach that exited from her back. No one knew what a sacrifice she made to
rehearse mid-week, fast for the music department every Thursday, seek the Lord’s
direction for worship service and show up every single Sunday. It was a sacrifice on her, her husband and
their children, but she did it weekly without complaining for free, this wasn’t
a salaried position. She refused to allow herself to cry and get
emotional behind these two “sisters” in Christ.
She calmed herself down, said a quick prayer: “Father, I humble submit
myself before you asking for the strength to forgive and move on. I know your word says: For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth—the one
who accuses them before our God day and night.
Revelations 12:10 (NLT). I know the enemy uses people to speak on his
behalf because he cannot. So I curse the
accusation. I will not allow it to take
root in my mind. I send it back to the
pit of hell where it belongs. I release
the accusers and I release myself, in Jesus name.” She took a deep breath, put on her “happy
face” and walked into the Sanctuary armed and dangerous.
Shamar led the people of God before the
throne of Grace in Worship and it was if God was waiting at the edge of his
throne to embrace her as she ran into His presence and fell at his feet as she
poured out her hurt, disappointment and frustration. She intentionally casted all
of her cares upon Him, because she knew he cared for her (1 Peter 5:7). As she
lost herself in worship it seemed as if the congregation went from glory to
glory, ultimately entering the holy of holies as they worshiped God Almighty without
restriction. As Shamar continued to
worship, it felt as if God scooped her up in His arms and held her there until
she released all of the pint up hurt that she had experienced over the
years. The service was so high, that
Pastor Washington could not minister that day.
Some were slain in the spirit, others danced in the spirit, several of
the very quiet worshippers were shouting to the top of their lungs. When those folks started hollering, you knew
it was “on and crackin” at True Way Deliverance Temple and if you wanted it you
better jump in. But no matter how thick
the presence of God was there was always a small group that sat like knots on a
log as if watching a movie. After things
started to settle down, several people testified that they had been healed or delivered
from struggles they had been facing for years and approximately 15 people
accepted Christ as their Savior.
Later that evening while she reflected
over the move of God, Shamar remembered hearing from others that Daffodil had
lots of opinions about how she led the Worship team and the opinions were
generally very negative but now she had firsthand knowledge. She couldn’t be angry with Daffodil and
Pebbles because she was above that juvenile mentality and she clearly saw them
for what they were, pawns who had been used by self (and/or the enemy) to
distract her so that the service would be a dud, not today! She felt sorry for them because they both
tried to pretend that they were on-board with the Worship team, they loved her and
had her back and that reminded her of this text:
This is the
message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. We must not be like Cain, who
belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him?
Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what
was righteous. So don’t be
surprised, dear brothers and sisters if the world hates you. If we love
our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to
life. But a person who has no love is still dead. Anyone who hates another brother or sister is
really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life
within them. 1 John 3:11-15 (NLT)
While
we may not kill each other physically, we can kill each other with hurtful,
bitter words against each other. As
people of God we want to be watchful of our thoughts, actions and
language. It’s enough that we have to
fight the enemy and watch for his plots.
We shouldn’t have to be on guard with each other. God gave each of us specific gifts. Some cause us to be in the forefront and
others don’t. It doesn’t mean you are
any less valuable than the person who is in front all of the time and anyone of
the fore-fronters will tell you that it’s not as easy as it may seem. So if people approach you to talk about others
(even people from Victory) shut it down immediately. Don’t get caught up in finger pointing, envy
and/or jealousy. It is an unproductive
use of energy and it is a trap that you’ll get entangled in if you’re not
careful. Remember, everything cost
something. You can decide to participate
in ungodly, hateful drama, lose your blessing and in the end you will have to give
account to God for every idle and negative word or act you have ever done; or
You can make a decision to cut anyone off at the path who brings drama to you (including
yourself by changing channels). You can
decide to think and speak of pleasant things -- out loud. If the person delivering recycled garbage (hearsay)
to you doesn’t get the hint offer to pray right then and there for the
situation and then hang up, walk away, don’t respond to any other text messages
or FB posts. They will get the hint and
share their garbage with someone else and God will bless you for making the
right decision. Verbal prayer can be an
amazing “pest” repellant.
In
His Eternal Love
Tan
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