Background: Jacob had a twin brother by the name of Esau. Jacob was a trickster, he inherited it from
his mother Rebekah who helped him trick his twin (also Rebekah's flesh and
blood) out of his birthright. Actually
she created the scheme and but he played the major role, then she helped Jacob
run for his life. Many years later and
after he matured he had to come face to face with his brother but now he had
much more to lose and he was terrified by what his brother might do to him and
his very large family. After an
encounter with God, Jacob’s name was changed to Israel (God-Wrestler); you’ve
wrestled with God and you’ve come through.
Genesis 32:28 (The Message) by God.
When Israel (formerly Jacob) met Esau the next day he fully forgave him
for everything he did. Clearly Israel
was wrong for tricking his brother, but when he got right with God, God turned
the situation around.
Israel had 12 sons by four different women: Leah and Rachael
blood sisters, Bilhah (Rachel’s maid), Zilpah
(Leah’s maid). There is no time to go into the drama behind
two sisters being married to the same man at the same time but it makes for good
reading (Genesis 24). This family was
full of dysfunction, not just because Israel had multiple wives who were blood
sisters and he had concubines (the woman on the side, except she wasn’t really
on the side, she was out front because the wife and everybody else knew about
her). Polygamy was legal during this
time because they were re-populating the earth as God commanded. Polygamy was a widely accepted middle east
practice, but there was still rivalry among the women whether they were wives
and/or concubines. In those days women
were voiceless, but concubines had it even worse, especially if they were
slaves. This family’s dysfunction
was: 1) multiple baby momma’s under one
roof – or at least in the same vicinity; 2) generational trickery and deceit;
3) favoritism; 4) jealousy; 5) revenge; 6) hatred/murder; 7) liars. This wasn’t just any family, these were direct
descendants of Abraham (Abraham was literally Israel’s grandfather) and they
were God’s chosen family, with all of this drama. No body, and I mean no body
is exempt from drama.
Israel favored his wife Rachael more than the other women in
his life and quite naturally he favored her children, Joseph and Benjamin who
were the youngest of all his children. Israel
loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he was the child of his
old age. And he made him an elaborately embroidered coat. When his brothers realized
that their father loved him more than them, they grew to hate him—they wouldn’t
even speak to him. Genesis 37:3-4
(NLT). Let’s skip over to Colossians
3:21 (NLT): Fathers, do not aggravate
your children, or they will become discouraged.
Israel provoked his sons to feel the way they did because he was not
discrete in his love and affection for Joseph.
It was the fuel that ignited the jealousy they had towards their
brother. Is it wrong to favor a child?
In my opinion, no, but if you do so in a way that clearly shows
favoritism, that’s a potential powder keg.
Let’s double back to Genesis and dig a little deeper into the story of
Joseph.
This is a story about envy and jealousy on steroids amongst
family members. Joseph’s 10 older
brothers worked in the family business as shepherds. Granted, Joseph was 2nd to
the youngest but the way the chapters read it appears that Israel kept Joseph
close around the house and it appears he wasn’t required to work full time like
his older brothers, which I am sure added fuel to the fire. In fact, when he
did go to the fields, he would snitch on the brothers when he came home. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure
out who was snitching – Joseph!! And Joseph brought his father bad reports on
them. Genesis 37:2b (The Message). To be clear, according to Genesis 37:4, Joseph’s
brothers hated him.
•
Hate (Webster) to dislike intensely or passionately; feel
extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest.
o
Aversion (Webster) to regard with displeasure, antipathy
▪
Antipathy (Webster) a natural, basic, or habitual repugnance
•
Repugnant: distasteful, objectionable, or offensive (you stink)
At the age of 17 Joseph is a sheltered, naïve kid who may or
may not have been spoiled, but he was treated differently than his older
brothers for certain. In addition to
being a child born in his father’s old age, it is possible that Israel
recognized something unique about his handsome son who had unique dream. Joseph possibly starved for the approval and
attention of his brothers excitedly attempted to tell them about his dream only
to be crushed by their extreme rejection.
Have you ever been in a position where you tried your best to obtain the
approval of others? Not because you are
superficial, needy and/or have an insatiable need to be acknowledged, or hear
yourself talk all the time. That’s
different. That is a person who has
another set of challenges which include low self-esteem. I don’t get that sense from Joseph. It doesn’t take a degree to know when people
don’t like you, you can feel it, but when someone hates you, the funk that they
give off is undeniable. Kind of like a
skunk spraying that odor to keep you away.
Joseph had a dream.
When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said, “Listen to
this dream I had. We were all out in the field gathering bundles of wheat. All
of a sudden my bundle stood straight up and your bundles circled around it and
bowed down to mine.” His brothers said, “So! You’re going to rule us? You’re
going to boss us around?” And they hated him more than ever because of his
dreams and the way he talked. He had
another dream and told this one also to his brothers: “I dreamed another dream—the
sun and moon and eleven stars bowed down to me!” When he told it to his father and brothers,
his father reprimanded him: “What’s with all this dreaming? Am I and your
mother and your brothers all supposed to bow down to you?” Now his brothers
were really jealous; but his father brooded over the whole business. Genesis
37:5-11 (The Message)
The second dream was shared with his father who interpreted
the dream and read Joseph’s mail right in front of everybody. I can imagine that the brothers were probably
gloating and giving each other dap because their father read Joseph’s
mail. But there was something to that
dream.
I don’t believe Joseph was arrogant, self-centered or trying
to rub anything in his family’s face.
His dreaming was an uncultivated gift that he had to learn to
manage. He had no books, DVDs, YouTube
or others to talk to so he tried to talk to his family but they couldn’t
receive it.
Two points come to mind:
1.
Don’t be quick to tell people about your
dreams because everyone won’t receive them;
2.
Close family
members/friends may not readily accept your gifts. Don’t fall out and faint. They know you intimately so it may be hard
for them to see past the common things they know about you. Your gift is not based on their knowledge or
approval, it is based on what God deposits into you. However, it is your responsibility to
cultivate that gift.
I am seriously out
of time and there is so much more to cover so we will pick it up tomorrow.
In His Excellent
Service
Tania not Tanya
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