For some of you yesterday's blog ended with unanswered
questions. Before we proceed, let's do a
re-cap: We discussed the fact that we
are the sum total of our thoughts almost primarily due to sensory perceptive
learning (e.g. what we heard, saw, tasted, smelled) as well as what we were
told and believe it or not, what we forgot.
This style of learning was taught by our caretakers consciously and
subconsciously as early as infancy. Whether
these lessons were morally ethical or not, the fact remains that this was the
predominant method of learning.
Some points to consider:
•
Given that there was a process involved in
learning to be who you are, 1) does it not stand to reason that there will be a
process in "unlearning" certain behaviors? Or 2) should you assume that since you want
to change it will magically occur overnight?
Most people will agree that the first statement is what they
believe. If then that is the case why do
so many people unrealistically expect an "overnight" change, become
frustrated, depressed, angry with their world, give up, settle, etc. and sign
up for a life time membership to the self-condemnation club? Someone please help me understand.
•
Just as there was a process in place to
"learn" behaviors that shaped you to be who you are, there is a
process in place to "unlearn" those behaviors. It is called changing your mind.
•
Lastly, it may not be a ride in the park, you
may want to give up on your journey of change and go back to what is familiar
even though it means returning to pain, frustration, discomfort, etc. Why do people do that? Because it is the path of least resistance;
it is the place where they "feel" the most comfortable; it is their
"normal" and stepping outside of that "normal" to learn a
"new normal" can literally terrorize people. Some people are so terrified of changing that
they will sabotage their own progress and/or they won't participate in their
own rescue. Why? You sure do ask a lot of questions, but
that's ok. Why? It is human nature. You're no different from anyone else that has
had to face the giant of "change."
However, if you are not sick and tired of being sick and tired of being
sick and tired, you are not ready for change.
Yeah, I
realize you might be ready to hit the exit button because you are feeling
uncomfortable. I am
How
Do I Change My Mind?
1. You may not want to hear
this, but I don't care. The first step
to begin the process of changing your mind is to have a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ. I’m not talking about
church membership (though it’s important), jumping up and down, rolling in the floor,
joining every committee at the church, giving all your money away or be dunked
in a pool to wash your sins away. Dear
heart, if water could wash our sins away, God’s plan of salvation is a farce;
we’ve been duped and Jesus died a torturous humiliating death and sent the Holy
Spirit to be our guarantee to a successful prosperous life, is all a lie. Listen to me, if in fact water baptism alone
was enough to cleanse us from our sins AND fully redeem us there is no way that
Jesus would have suffered the way that he did for us. It is his precious blood that cleanses us,
not water, and the 39 lashes he received on his body that heals us from sicknesses
and diseases. The shedding of blood didn’t
just save us from past sins and the lashes didn’t just heal us from past
illnesses, that one selfless act of Jesus saved us from past and future sins
and illnesses. When he hung his head and
said “It is finished”, he paid the price in its entirety for yesterday, today
tomorrow, next year, 2017, 2020, etc. otherwise he would have to die every time
we sinned. This is a topic for another time. My point here is that joining a faith based
organization and following rules is nice, but it will not, cannot and does not
yield a personal relationship with God.
The only act that will guarantee a relationship with God is: If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord
and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it
is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. (Romans 10:9, 10 NLT). To be clear, there is no way around the law
of confession.
2.
Self-Check:
You need to decide what you want to change. No one can do this except you, because it's
your life. People in your life may have
advised you to make certain changes, some or all of which may be relevant, but
if you don't feel the conviction they are talking about, if you don't see it,
you won't be changing for you, you will be changing for them and I can almost
guarantee that it won't last. So here's
the question, what are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of? In other words what do you want to change and
why? I don't just mean surface things
like your appearance; losing weight, getting out of debt, becoming more
dependable, etc. That’s a start but you
need to dig deeper:
•
Why
do you want a makeover (are you having an identity crises, are you stuck in the
past, if so, why?)
•
Why
do you want to lose weight (is it for health reasons? to avoid certain genetic
tendencies? is it because you are trying to hide behind the weight because ....
you fill in the blank);
•
Why
are you always late (is it an act of defiance against authority because ....
you fill in the blank)
•
Getting out of debt is not as obvious as you may
think (are you addicted to shopping? Does
it fill a void that you don’t want to deal with? Is it your way of being in
control)
•
Why do you ingest, inhale or otherwise use
substances that you know are harmful to your body that can cause serious
illnesses especially if there is a family history of it? (OK, it's a habit, but what is behind the
habit? Why have you allowed it to be
greater than God’s delivering power? Why
are you killing yourself prematurely?)
3. As things come up be prepared to write
them down, they are coming up for a reason.
I would suggest that you use a smart device or old fashion journal and
pen which will identify the beginning of your journey and gauge the progress as
you begin to change your mind.
4. You must also be prepared to guard
your mind as things come up (Proverbs 4:23 NLT). As you shed layers that have protected you,
you will become vulnerable. It is a time
to be prayerful, watchful and extra careful of decision-making, taking on new
projects, etc. If you suffered severe
PTSD (post-traumatic stress syndrome), molestation, sexual, physical or mental abuse,
etc. and you have been stuck in that place for quite some time you may consider
professional help. Hold on, don’t trip out. Culturally most African-Americans do not
embrace therapy and many denominations teach against this. It doesn’t mean you are crazy, that you have a demon or that you are
weak. You just need an expert to help
you identify specific areas so that you can release and begin the healing process.
Just as there are Christian physicians there are Christian therapists that are
passionate about helping people unlearn their past behaviors. Nothing personal, but not every pastor or
church counselor can handle severe psychological trauma. This is not a case of this (God) or that
(professional help), it will always be God first (this) and help if you need it
(that).
That was a lot, it was heavier for some than others. If you are feeling a little unsettled say
this out loud: You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts
are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)
Breathe, no I’m serious, that was a lot even for me. Take a big breath, hold it for 10 seconds and
release. Repeat until you feel yourself
relax and then settle into the relaxation.
If necessary say the scripture above until you feel God’s peace.
I’m out of time, but we will pick it back up tomorrow.
In His Excellent Service
Tania not Tanya
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