In yesterday’s blog of June 10, 2014, we began the first phase
of the work necessary to change your mind.
Today we’re going to continue on that journey but let’s re-cap some of
yesterday’s points:
- We should be clear by now on the impact of sensory perceptive learning (e.g. what we heard, saw, tasted and smelled) as well as what we were told and/or what we forgot that began as early as infancy regardless to whether those learnings were good, not so good. It is what it is;
- Change is not going to happen just because we say we want to change. It may be painful but it will be worth it given the end result;
- We cannot truly change ourselves – we can discontinue some behaviors and have some great success, but to truly change the core of our being, we need the help of God, a personal relationship with him. 2 Corinthians 5:17
- What do you want to change?
We addressed the “why” of change yesterday but I want to
pick up with that point. Whenever taking
on a new venture (e.g. going back to school, opening a business, expanding your
business, downsizing, etc.) or making major life changes (marriage, divorce,
starting a family, relocating out of state or country, moving your membership,
etc.) you need to know why. Not
necessarily to explain it to someone else but so that you are clear on your
decision and so that you can fight for your decision. I can’t say it enough, change isn’t going to
just happen magically, you’re gonna have to make it happen and believe it or
not, the only person that can stop you is you.
Why Change Your Mind
Changing to please others generally does not yield long-term
results because it is not your desire, it’s not your why. There is nothing to anchor you to the change
process. When your why is big enough
that no matter the price you have to pay, cost won't be an issue because you
will willingly pay it and some to attain achieve your goal. The price is not necessarily confined to a
monetary amount, especially with our topic of change. In our case it is primarily a sacrificial
price (e.g. comfort level, vulnerability, fears, self-control, redefining your
"normal", ridicule, dream killers, rejection, your time, etc.). For example:
- At the age of five James suffered a traumatic experience so severe that he began to stutter. The ridicule for this baby was so overwhelming that he retreated from speaking altogether and lived as a functional mute for eight years until a teacher helped him overcome his fear of speaking. He didn’t speak until he changed his mind which I am positive included getting to the root of his mute lifestyle. Today James Earl Jones is known as one of America's most distinguished and versatile actors in American history.
Assuming you have identified what you want to change as we
discussed in yesterday’s blog and why you want to change, let's
talk about the change process:
- Phases: Whenever I am taking on a new project I have found it to be most helpful to do things in phases as I test the waters as opposed to taking on too much, becoming overwhelmed and quitting. I realize this is not always feasible as there are some things that require we jump in head first which I can do if necessary, but if given a preference I'm generally going to opt for implementation in phases which will allow me to tweak my progress along the way or completely overhaul it. It also allows me to celebrate my successes along the way which inspires me to work a little harder and perhaps faster. Quitting really is never an option for me once I start something, I tend to believe there is a solution we just have to look for it.
- Overcoming Obstacles #1: The majority of your obstacles are going to come from you. We are such creatures of habit that it will take a minimum of 30 days to break a surface habit. The good news is that it's possible. Be aware that you may be your biggest enemy. Negative self-talk (e.g. You don't deserve to be happy because you have caused too much pain; God will never love you because made too many mistakes and you're not worthy of his love; I don't care if you already had a donut, I want the last two now before anyone else eats them; I don't care if you can't afford it, satisfy my needs no matter who you have to hurt; Don't change even if it means killing yourself; you can't change because you're too: broke, lazy, tired, sick, short, fat, thin, light, dark, ghetto, bright, broke, etc.
What
I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act
another, doing
·
Rules of Engagement (ROE): these principles can
be applied to any situation you face (e.g. spiritual warfare/faith fight;
deliverance from a specific area in your life; healing; etc.)
1.
Change your language: Stop allowing the enemy (self and the devil)
accuse you of your past. When it pops up
DO NOT under any circumstances engage.
STOP IT immediately by changing the subject: think about something
positive, starting singing a praise song, quote a scripture.
a.
Do not
let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for
building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen. Ephesians 4:24 (NIV)
2.
Change your company (if
necessary). If you are around people
that are negative, they drain you, pull from you, etc. you may need to separate
yourself from them, this includes relatives.
It doesn’t mean you are disowning them, you are taking a break to get
better. I am not talking about your kids
or your spouse. However, if you are
having marital challenges, that is a different conversation.
a.
Can
two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Amos 3:3 (NLT)
3.
Declare what you want (out loud)
a.
Father, I declare that I no longer think the
same, my mind is renewed with your word.
I am healed from my past, I will not spend my days pressing rewind; I
will move forward on purpose and with your help because I cannot do it on my
own. I declare that each day I am
getting better, stronger and wiser. In
the name of Jesus, Amen.
I'm out of time, so we'll pick it up tomorrow
In His Excellent Service
Tania not Tanya
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