Double for your Trouble Pt. 3

During my years of network marketing I remember hearing someone say as a hole: “we either have too much time and not enough money or not enough money and too much time.”  Carl and I were in the later category with both of us being unemployed simultaneously and like most people our income changed drastically, but our financial responsibilities did not.  I’m not going to turn this into a “lack” declaration because that’s not the focus but from a realistic standpoint that was “a reality” but it wasn’t my “reality.”  I made a conscious decision not to worry about money and let me tell you, just because I made a conscious decision not to worry didn’t mean that the worry left me alone.  It crept up every way you could think of, sometimes it caught me off guard and for a quick moment I would find myself lingering on a thought about what we didn’t have, how we were gonna pay this or that but because of my intended position the Holy Spirit would gently remind me to press “RESET”.  I listened to faith messages ALL the time, surrounded myself with people that were an encouragement and would hold me accountable (like 2-3 people). 

Just before the lay-off, God strongly impressed on me to look for a vehicle, so I began my search thinking that I would have to save the money for a car, blah blah blah.  But while all of the above was happening, God reminded me of the promised car.  I know, I know, just hold on it will make sense in a minute.  I have to go back a bit to lay the foundation.

So when Goodwill gave me the boot, I would probably still be there, serving, miserable and stuck.  I loved the work I did it was amazingly rewarding.  I had a great staff, we were “comfortable” with our routine but I had out grown it, I knew it was time for something different but I was “comfortable”.  So as much as I didn’t like the way I was laid off, it was absolutely necessary.  The door had to be shut, sealed and barricaded because the assignment was over PERIOD and I didn’t have a say in the matter because I was (and still am) on God’s time clock not mines.  Besides the displacement of the job, the transportation I was assigned to for approximately 2-1/2 years displaced.  Remember that little word called “favor”, well don’t let those five letters fool you.  I was assigned a company vehicle, a 1998 white Ford Escort, but I was assigned that car just as my faithful Honda Civic played out (coincidence?  I think not).  Parking in downtown SF was free (for me), maintenance was free, I commuted daily in my assigned car from Vallejo to my site, headquarters several times per week as well as the community meetings I attended, etc. so it made sense for me to keep the car because I was always on the go, literally.  I kept it cleaned, parked it in my home garage, put smell good in and treated it like it was a Benz.  I even had an alarm installed on it.  Dionne was in the knew about the car, we talked about God’s favor and right on time blessing.  I’ll never forget one afternoon I was on the phone with Dionne and when I got out of the car the alarm chirped.  She said “Tan, did you put an alarm on that Escort?”  I proudly countered “Yes I did and I don’t care what nobody says, I go in some rough neighborhoods and I wanna make sure my “purse and laptop” are safe.”  She fell out laughing and so did I.  I haven’t gotten off track, I’m going somewhere with this, hold on, I’m almost there.

So going back to what I stated above, God reminded me of the promise of a car.  I reminded him that Carl and I were both unemployed and he reminded me that he was Jehovah Jireh.  Because of my faith and faithfulness over someone else’s property (my previous employer), God blessed me with a brand new 2012 Volkswagen.  Let me tell you something, if you are faithful over a few things God will make you a ruler over many.  Do you remember the man with the five talents from last week’s declaration (LINK).

I had a desire to help my father in ministry from an administrative capacity.  It wasn’t normal, it was a burning passionate desire that I could not explain and that door was opened for me not long after I was laid off.  It was an absolute joy to live out my dream, actually it was my purpose for a season and when that season was over, I had to move on, but I lived out my purpose in helping him to update the ministry, modernize the front office, reduce operating costs, implemented processes and procedures that freed his time up so that he was able to take some much needed time off.  He took a 30 day vacation, the ministry never missed a beat, he didn’t return to drama and when he came back he took several more mini fishing trips.  It was a joy to see my dad take time off because after 45 years of nonstop committed ministry without the luxury of taking off for extended periods of time he deserved the break.  I remained committed to that assignment until I was released by God, he initiated it and he ended it, not me or anyone else.   

Carl continued to look for work but every application he completed seemed to produce five nos.   I remember asking him about his search and to silence me he started forwarding the “no thank you responses”.  LOL – documentation beats conversation.  Every need was met, our lights were never cut off, we didn’t lose our home or vehicles, but we couldn’t do any of the extra normal stuff like purchase an item(s) on a whim, birthday or Christmas gifts.  Thanksgiving 2013 Carl and I stayed at home because the money he was promised got held up.  We knew the car insurance was going to be cancelled by Thanksgiving if he didn’t get the money in time so I purchased a few items for an intimate Thanksgiving for two, complete with candles and linen.  We told the kids we were going to spend a quiet Thanksgiving at home (which we did) and encouraged them to spend time with the other family, but the real truth was that we couldn’t afford a traditional turkey dinner, our driving was restricted and under normal circumstances I would have at least hosted dinner for my extended family but our home was in dire need of repair I was too embarrassed.  My eldest sister offered to pick us up and drive us to the family dinner in San Francisco, but that was far too much driving for her.  People tripped out because we were at home, but we were fine, it didn’t bother us at all.  The next day Carl decided to hike from our house to Safeway just to get outside.  He called me from the store about an hour later telling me that I had to come and get him.  “Uhh, did you forget we don’t have any insurance?”  He hadn’t but when he got to the store and made an inquiry to the meat department, they guy scratched his head and told him he didn’t know why he was doing this but he wanted to give him a box of food (turkey, stuffing, veggies, gravy, rolls, desert, etc.).  Since I was at the store I decided to use the little money I had to purchase some necessities.  While standing in line giggling like love birds, I noticed a well-dressed Caucasian gentlemen to go ahead of me because he only had 2-3 items.  He was shocked and I jokingly said, it’s the holidays, it’s nice to be nice but since I let you go head of me you can pay for my groceries and he said, “OK.”  Carl and I looked at each other like are you kidding me.  Then I thought to myself, “shoot, I wish I had gotten more items.” LOL.  Honestly, I was floored, thanked him sincerely and asked for his name and he gently said “Mike”.  I still pray for Mike every now and again.

I haven’t even scratched the surface of the blessings we have received as a couple and independent of one another, but it’s enough for me to stop and remind you that no matter what things look like: you gotta take the emotion out of it, suck it up, put yo’ big kid draws on and keep goin ‘cuz quitting is for losers.  Listen to this last text and I’ll close. 

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.  He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.  To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.  In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.  They will rebuild the ancient ruins, repairing cities destroyed long ago.  They will revive them, though they have been deserted for many generations.   Foreigners will be your servants.  They will feed your flocks and plow your fields
and tend your vineyards.  You will be called priests of the Lord, ministers of our God. You will feed on the treasures of the nations and boast in their riches.  Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.  Isaiah 61:1-7 (NLT)

This is the fourth quarter of 2014.  Seven is the number of completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual.)  Being a multiple of 7, 14 partakes of its importance and, being double, that number implies a double measure of spiritual perfection.  In January 2014 Carl and I declared that this would be the year of double favor over our lives, we wrote those declarations down and almost all of them have been checked off.  Today, October 30, 2014: I have found my way to my purpose; I am lined up with God’s word over my life; I love what I do; I discovered my gift for writing and in particular story telling; I’m living my dream; my book was a best seller when it was released; I started my own nonprofit organization, I have a legitimate 501ce The Other Side; my partners and I are literally in the middle of completing a grant as I speak while I’m planning my book release.  God will open up a window from heaven and pour you out a blessing you don’t have room to receive.

Can you say – double portion?   

I’m out of time but never out of words.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

Double For Your Trouble Pt. 2

Before we dive into today’s declaration (blog) let’s recap a little of our discussion yesterday.  You should know by now how well I love to tell stories, not lies, fabrications, falsehoods, stories, the kind you make up with fictitious characters like:  Cinderella, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, The Wiz, etc.  This declaration is a story to, except its part of my journey for real.

Yesterday I shared that prior to Carl (my husband) and I being laid off, we felt a shift in the atmosphere, something was off balance at work but we weren’t certain what.  As the weeks passed, it became clear to us that it was related to our positions but we weren’t exactly sure what.   Carl was ultimately laid off in June 2010, he picked up some contractual work and started receiving unemployment benefits but it wasn’t close to his net income.  I was selected to play the game of employer v. employee chess, without being asked, and let me tell you, they didn’t play fair at all.  It became frustrating to see people lie right in front of me.  So many times I had to hold my tongue when I wanted to say: “Girl, quit playin’ you know you lyin’.  You can’t even look me in my eyes.”  But it would have been a waste.  Thirteen months after Carl was laid off, I was too.  I never in a million years would have imagined that we would both be collecting EDD benefits at the same time.  The lay-off was humiliating because I allowed it to be, but it was ugly because they made it ugly, more like, we’ve restructured your position and it has been dissolved, so pack your stuff and get out.  We have an escort for you, Loss Prevent, that will keep a watchful eye on you as you pack your stuff and then they will escort you out of the building, so don’t let the door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha; oh and one mo’ thang, you are under Goodwill’s gag order so you bet not say nuthin’ about us layin’ you off to your co-workers, the community, the media, or anybody you can think of.  Can you say blank stare?  Can I tell you that I was so angry that my entire body was shaking to maintain my control, composure and my good Christian walk?  

Be careful what you pray for:  I don’t mean this in a negative way, I really mean you need to give

thought to what you pray for because if you believe it you will get it, just probably not the way you expected it to come.  That is if you gave any thought to how it (your request) would occur.  I don’t know about you but sometimes I like to fantasize about how God is going to bless me and every cotton pickin’ time I do His plan is nothing like what I imagined.  I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing but I can tell you this.  It can be dangerous because if we decide how we want God to bless us and we are not flexible, the blessing may come but we completely miss it because we had expectations of how God was going to show up for us. 

Tania Not Tanya nugget:  I hear you, but what about the scripture that says: Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  Matthew 7:7 (NLT).   This scripture gives us the right to make our requests known to God, it does not tell us that we get to tell God how or even when to answer our prayers.  I have said this before and I will say it again, our primary job is to obey, plain and simple; it is not to tell God how to do anything.  Why would he listen to us anyway especially since he knows our past, present and future and he knows everything and is everywhere all at the same time.  Listen, I don’t know about you, but left up to my own devices I am guaranteed to make a mess of things even when I mean well.  I need God’s direction, his guidance and his favor in my life.  I don’t ever want to have to depend solely on me.  Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.  I’m not ashamed to say: “God, I need you; help me make the right choice(s), help me not to miss your timing, help God help.  We can barely see our hands in front of our face and that’s on a good day. We have gotten ourselves to our existing predicament, why in the world would we want to listen to ourselves,  I guess I do it to entertain myself, because there is no way that I can dictate to God how he should or should not do something, when, or whom he should involve. 

Approximately one year after praying and asking God to bless us with the resources to start our own nonprofit right down to the paperclips we needed, God answered our prayer, he just answered in a completely different way than I imagined.  My thought was that he would bless us to get funding, secure a building, staff and start to build the program, but that’s not quite what he had in mind.  Carl and I considered ourselves matured Christians but there was some very necessary pruning that needed to take place before he could release this assignment to us.

·       Pruning:  to cut or lop off (twigs, branches, or roots); to rid or clear of (anything superfluous or undesirable); to remove (anything considered superfluous or undesirable).

o   Superfluous:  Excessive, unnecessary, needless

If I take those two words: Pruning and Superfluous to describe part of our preparation for promise (aka the process) it would sound something like this:

·       Carl and I went through a process that cut back, cleared, got rid of and removed excessive unnecessary needless things and people in our lives in order to make room for the new people that had been waiting all of their lives for us to come along.  When we arrived they were able to exhale.

The first thing God did was allowed us to be off at the same time, which was odd for us because the majority of our marriage with an exception of the last 10 years Carl worked graveyard and he had a rotating shift which also caused him to work weekends.  Working with your spouse is not as easy as it may seem and everyone is not cut out for it.  It takes a special couple to be able to work together and live together.  You have to establish clear boundaries about when you’re going to talk about work; whether you answer phone calls and/or emails during dinner, movie night, your “vacation”, etc.; agreeing on a maximum amount of your personal funds you will spend on the business.  If you’re in a board meeting and you have to cast a vote, do you vote in favor of your spouse’s idea or your heart; do you like each other well enough to leave your home together, commute to work, work all day, commute home, share your meal, and your bed only to do the same thing the next morning?  What happens when you have a spat, do you carry it into the office?

I love my husband, but I cannot spend every day, night, weekend, holiday and over time with him because I have to have time to myself even if it is only to watch Judge Judy, Survivor or a girl movie or let the TV watch me fall asleep.  Or I may want to bake, write or read, get my nails done or just think by myself.  Sometimes I need to come home to an empty house so I can transition to my role as the woman of my house.

Time got away from us again, we’ll have to pick it up tomorrow.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

Ready Or Not Here It Comes

We spent all last week doing some deep self-examinations as it relates to ourselves but we took our time and included Selah moments so that we could allow adequate time to analyze: Where we are; How we got there; If we planned on staying and What we’re going to do, now that we were aware of ….. and/or admitted the truth, if anything at all.

The double edged sword to this work was though it is necessary in order to move forward, it may have allowed things to surface that were ugly, nasty, stinky things that we ignored, buried and/or denied, etc. for years.  Some of us did so because it was the only way we knew how to survive the drama we had lived through and so pretending that it never happened or that it happened to someone else was a survival mechanism which allowed us to keep our sanity, dignity and/or perhaps avoid the penal system.  While I don’t want to focus on those parts of our lives that we are not proud of, it was necessary to raise the issue briefly because we cannot change what we do not acknowledge as Dionne The Radical Midwife often says.  Doing so will allow us to begin the journey to The Other Side (of drama) which is a great place to start this declaration.

In October 2008, Carl was working as an IT Instructor at Five Keys Charter School with the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department.  He was hired to teach digital literacy in the San Francisco County Jails both men and women’s facilities at Mooreland Drive in San Bruno, CA and Seventh Street Jails in downtown San Francisco.   I was working at Goodwill Industries as the Director of the Bayview Hope Transportation Academy.  Both of us were passionate about engaging underserved individuals and making a difference in their lives through the programs we ran and being living examples by the way we spoke, carried ourselves, handled drama that they witnessed, etc.  Ironically both of us could tell there were some major shifts in the atmosphere taking place at work but we couldn’t identify the actual drama.  For example: 

Carl’s class became so popular that there was a huge waiting list for it causing a buzz throughout the jails and inmates literally looked forward to attending.  The bottom line was that in the two years of his employment with Five Keys, Carl had never had an incident in his classroom (e.g. no class fights or drama at all) even when “the people” tried to instigate the drama, it was as if God always allowed him to discover it before things jumped off.  Secondly he had such a command of his class that the inmates regulated each other and the OGs checked the youngsters whenever they tried to get out of line because they didn’t want to lose the privilege of attending his class which was an elective.  He didn’t have any issues with the inmates his opposition came from “Po-Po”.  They did things like: placed known rival gang members in his classroom and waited for the drama to jump off but it didn’t; He was left unattended when a deputy is supposed to be outside his class at all times; Snitches were planted in his classroom to try to discover “what was going” on in the class and I believe some items had even been planted in his classroom. 

The drama I experienced at Goodwill was not quite as bad.  Like Carl I didn’t really have any issues with my staff or students, it was “the people”.  Why? What started off as a pilot program which I believe they thought would most likely fail in a year or two, flourished instead.  It became the most successful program Goodwill had, so much so that they started to implement some of the criteria that I had created in order to screen for the best training candidates.  We consistently met our objectives: enrollments, completions; job placement and retention and 85% of the program was paid for through grants which meant Goodwill was spending very little of its revenue to operate the program.  The problem was that a black woman was running a successful program offsite out of their control and they couldn’t figure out how I was so successful.   That was never gonna happen because it wasn’t me, it was God.  He honored my prayer when I asked him to bless the program to succeed and flourish, not for my benefit but for the benefit of the men and women that would be able to take advantage of the life changing training, wrap around services and job placement that we offered.  Mind you 54% of my students had been previously incarcerated, some were former gang members, had been on Welfare for many years, former substance abusers, etc.  Those were the people we targeted.  Like Carl, I didn’t have any real issues with my students and in those rare times that I did, I terminated them and my staff always had my back like I had theirs.  There was no risk of them retaliating because we operated on the Naval Shipyard down the road from the San Francisco Police Department’s Special Tactical Unit.  As in Carl’s case, they couldn’t figure out the recipe for my success.

In October 2008 Carl and I started praying consistently for God to open a door for us to create our own nonprofit organization.  Carl is amazing at what he does, his people skills, etc. and I’m not bad myself, but together, we are lethal.  What he lacks I make up and vice versa.  We began to pray for the resources and open door to start our own nonprofit not knowing there would be some rocky roads ahead based upon our request.

The first major road we had to travel was when Carl was laid off in June 2010 and though it was a blow to us I at least had a job, but we had to make some drastic changes to our household.  It wasn’t easy but we were able to make the adjustment.  I continued with work though I felt uneasy.  I knew it was time to start looking for another job, but I didn’t have the energy.  I didn’t want to start all over again but the writing was on the wall that it was time to leave because I could see that they were playing games, trying to get information from me that they previously didn’t care about; wanting to have multiple site visits; direct access to our off-site facility, etc.   I gave them the information I wanted them to have because I could hear the lies they weren’t verbalizing based upon what they didn’t say or the way they didn’t completely answer questions. I felt like I was playing a constant game of chess always anticipating their next move. 

The second major road we had to travel was when things got heated for me at work when I was laid off in July 2011 after 7-1/2 years of committed service to the people I served, not necessarily Goodwill, they were simply a means to an end.

As ugly as that part of our lives was it was absolutely necessary.  Once I got passed the feelings of betrayal, anger, and insult, I was able to think clearer on what I wanted to do with my life.  I thought seriously about school but decided against it.  After much thought and prayer I felt led to take some time to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I knew I was bigger than a job that I was called to do more than work for someone else that was not an option for me, but what?   I knew God was my source according to Matthew 6:30-33 (CEB) If God dresses grass in the field so beautifully, even though it’s alive today and tomorrow it’s thrown into the furnace, won’t God do much more for you, you people of weak faith?  Therefore, don’t worry and say, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ Gentiles long for all these things. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them. Instead, desire first and foremost God’s kingdom and God’s righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.   I decided that I would exhaust every resource available to me including food stamps, Medi-Cal, Keep Your Home California and the severance package that Carl and I demanded the CEO increase or I would play my trump cards.  Let me just say we reached an agreement and the very woman that told me it couldn’t be done (severance package renegotiated) was forced by the CEO to sign off on it and three months later that demon, I mean my former boss was terminated herself, well they say she quit but that’s what they say.  For two years, I did exactly what I wanted which was to get my feet wet as a consultant for churches.

  

Clearly I am laying a foundation for the upcoming declaration.  Unfortunately though I am out of time, so we will have to pick it up tomorrow.

In His New Excellence

Tania Not Tanya

Selah Pt. 4 - Whatcha Gon' Do Now?

We have had corporate Selah’s all week and though they are still a little uncomfortable for me I am nowhere near as uncomfortable as I was the very first day, the very first one; how about you?  Again, if you missed any of the blogs I would strongly suggest that you read my blogs on the “Selah Series” to get a sense of what I’m talking about.  Here’s a brief overview of the series: 

·       Monday’s question:  Where Are You -- probably seemed kind of strange to some people but it was designed to stir you up.  If you still have not come up with an answer to that question let me offer this one.  You are right where you are supposed to be, in God’s perfect will or in his permissive will, but I assure you it’s not a mistake, luck or an accident, because “nothing just happens”. 

·       Tuesday’s question:  How did you get here – required steel toed boots tightly laced because it was an absolute toe crusher.  We ended that call fully understanding that many of us are experiencing self-inflicted drama and/or pain.  If you are still looking for an answer to that one too, let me offer you this one for free – Your thoughts got you right where you are.  If you want to change your current position you’ve gotta change that stinkin’ thinkin’.  Proverbs 23:7a (NKJV) For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. 

·       Wednesday’s question: Do You Plan To Stay -- probably put some of us on the spot.  It’s one thing to find yourself wandering in a wilderness of decisions and denial, but when someone stops you, shows you that you’re off course, gives you a GPS, food and water for your journey and you have to think about whether you want to keep wandering aimlessly or just follow the yellow brick road to purpose, ummmmm that’s kind of special. 

That’s a good place to jump in.  The million dollar question for today is:  Whatcha gon’ do now?  What do I mean?  Well, we made history this week because questions were posed for your consideration and then we intentionally had a Selah before moving on to the next topic.  But none of that means a hill of beans if you discovered something about yourself during this blog series, talked about the incredible information you got and do nothing to change your position.  I understand it is possible that your life is going really well, it’s not perfect, but you don’t have a lot of drama going on.  All kiddin’ to the left, my hats off to you.  Seriously, no sarcasm intended at all.  I’m not there yet but I’m working towards it and Imma keep goin’ until I get there. 

Tania not Tanya nugget:  For your reference the simple definition of Selah is: pause, park and pond (mentally and physically). 

Meanwhile of the 98% of us that are still trying to figure some stuff out, a few of them say they want: to be set free; helped; healed; delivered; whole, etc. but they don’t realize there is work involved.  It’s almost as if they are insulted or act like they got punked or something when they realize they actually have to give up some stuff and/or people; change some habits, fight for their right to be sane, to get out of debt, live in peace, etc.  Physical fights are nothing compared to the type of fighting required to be free. Let me make something abundantly clear there is a price for freedom and if you’re not willing to pay the price you don’t deserve to have it.   Free of what?  Free of yourself, of caring about how others perceive you, the need for approval and the drama that tries to keep you distracted from purpose.

Tania Not Tanya moment:  I refer to “purpose” quite a bit because we are all called, gifted to do specific things.  God created us for a specific purpose.  If you have not identified what your true purpose in life is, it is time for you to make that discovery a priority because until you do, you will never really be able to live a fulfilled life.  There will always be some level of frustration, disconnect, inward turmoil, and yes, even if you are a spirit filled believer, in fact the uneasiness may be greater for you because of your spiritual connection to God.

Whatcha gon’ do now?  About what? 

·       The relationship(s) that needs to be repaired.  Perhaps you have been waiting for someone to make an effort to initiate peace but what if you are the “someone”? 

·       The marriage that needs to be restored or dissolved.  Listen, I am not an advocate of divorce, I believe that if two people love each other and are committed to the commitment (especially if they love God, though it’s not a requirement for a healthy marriage) and they are willing to put in the work, the marriage can be salvaged and restored to a state better than it was prior to the drama.  However, however, if you have exhausted every resource (e.g. counseling, therapy, fasting, praying, etc.) and/or your spouse has made it clear that they are no longer interested in being married (verbally or through their actions) and/or your life (and that of your child(ren)) is in danger, you need to rethink your position?  God didn’t call us to be doormats, punching bags or target practice.  That is not living life in abundance.  I am fully aware that nothing is impossible with God, but I am also aware that God will not impose his will on any one (including your spouse) because he would be violating his own plan, the plan of free will of choice.  I make this statement from a place of experience, not theory.

·       Moving past the church hurt? Are you going to shake it off, make a conscious effort to forgive that person(s), earnestly pray and intercede for them; or get an attitude and avoid them; or stay home and vow to never go to another church in your life; or is it time to move onto another ministry?

·       Your health?  Your body has been sending distress signals for months, possibly years.  Are you going to continue to ignore them or are you going to love yourself enough to begin making changes.  I hear you and I agree, diets don’t work but lifestyle changes do if you remain committed to the commitment.  Start somewhere.  Go to the doctor and tell them you need a plan, make sure your healthy enough for an exercise routine, yes exercise, but I suggest a physical first so that you have a benchmark and decide on tangible goals to reach (reduce: blood pressure, glucose level, weight, etc.).  Cut back on the junk food slowly and then altogether.  Cut back on the fast food slowly and then altogether.  The key is to do things in increments so you don’t feel so deprived and then rebel against yourself;

·       Your dream?  Ask God to rekindle the fire; start dreaming again; pull out the papers, pictures, ideas, etc. you packed away and start reading them often, post pictures of your dreams or “dream notes” where you can see them.  Talk to other dreamers and/or people who have done similar things.  Create a plan, implement it in stages if you can’t do it all at once, but do something.  When you talk about it be clear that you talk to the right people (those who are like minded, that encourage you that talk up to you).  Guard your dream from buzzards, dream snatchers who will criticize, poke fun and speak death into your ears and/or to steal your dream and create it for themselves.  You have to be so careful of thieves especially those around and within, including you.

Whatcha gon’ do sweetie, time is a ticking and it ain’t waitin’ on you or nobody else.  Speaking of which, I’m all out time but you’re not, whatcha waitin’ on?

In His New and Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Selah Pt. 3 - Do You Plan To Stay?

Rather spending time re-capping the last two declarations (blogs) “Where Are You” and “How Did You Get Here” I would like to encourage you to read them www.dailyflicker.blogspot.com  or listen to them through the Declare Victory App. Let’s jump right in. 

My question today is:  Do You Plan To Stay?  Stay where, you ask, where you are.  First let’s consider your state of mind. Have you given it (life) your best shot?  Is this it for you?  Have you reached your peak?  Do you have any more to give or gain?  Do you have the capacity for anything else, great or small?  Are you ready to throw in the towel and just live on cruise control and let life do, what it do?  Have you made your dreams a reality or are you living in a Scary Movie hoping Edward Scissors hands would cut you free?  Have you accomplished your goals, any of them, how about just one?  Or did you pack them away like an old scrap book which you refer to every now and then when you walk down memory lane telling people how you used to do this, that and the third.

The servant who had been given five thousand coins brought them in with the five thousand that he had earned. He said, “Sir, you gave me five thousand coins, and I have earned five thousand more.”  “Wonderful!” his master replied. “You are a good and faithful servant. I left you in charge of only a little, but now I will put you in charge of much more. Come and share in my happiness!”  Next, the servant who had been given two thousand coins came in and said, “Sir, you gave me two thousand coins, and I have earned two thousand more.”  “Wonderful!” his master replied. “You are a good and faithful servant. I left you in charge of only a little, but now I will put you in charge of much more. Come and share in my happiness!”  The servant who had been given one thousand coins then came in and said, “Sir, I know that you are hard to get along with. You harvest what you don’t plant and gather crops where you haven’t scattered seed. I was frightened and went out and hid your money in the ground. Here is every single coin!”  The master of the servant told him, “You are lazy and good-for-nothing! You know that I harvest what I don’t plant and gather crops where I haven’t scattered seed. You could have at least put my money in the bank, so that I could have earned interest on it.”  Then the master said, “Now your money will be taken away and given to the servant with ten thousand coins!  Everyone who has something will be given more, and they will have more than enough. But everything will be taken from those who don’t have anything.  You are a worthless servant, and you will be thrown out into the dark where people will cry and grit their teeth in pain.”  Matthew 25:20-30 (CEV)  When it is time for you to give account of your life before God which of the two responses above do you think he will give? Selah (12 seconds)

Do you plan to stay?  Where?  In that relationship.  Your spouse loves you, has put up with you and your crazy family for far too long but now s/he is at their breaking point because of your bitterness, selfishness and immaturity and your constant nagging and complaining has become almost unbearable but your jealousy and suspicion of your spouse is a dead giveaway that you are the one with adultery tendencies or even worse you actually cheated and you are transferring your guilt on your spouse.  Selah (5 seconds).  Do you plan to stay with that person you call your fiancé knowing full well that they aren’t really in to you, they tolerate, belittle and disrespect you in private and publicly. Nothing you do is ever right in their site, they badger you about having sex even though they know your commitment to celibacy and you’re actually torn between what you should do because you don’t want to lose the nightmare, I’m sorry, the dream of your life.  Your friends, neighbors, preacher, teacher and momma ‘nem don’t like your fiancé, shoot, the dog doesn’t even like your fiancé.  You had the audacity to unfriend the one friend that was brave enough to call you on your stupidity, I’m sorry, your “Word” you received from the Lord.  You were running the race so well.  You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? This persuasion does not come from Him who calls you.  Galatians 5:7-8 (NKJV) The NLT says:  Who has held you back from following the truth? It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom.   Selah (12 seconds)

Do You Plan to Stay?  Where?  Away from the ministry that helped to bring you out.  Are you going to allow someone’s ignorance, jealousy and/or envy keep you away from the place you were called to serve?  Are you really going to get off the committees, boards and/or auxiliaries you have served on faithfully because of the insecurities and complex issues your immature offender has?  Are you going to let those spirits in those people run you off?  Or is it time to go so you can pursue the purpose God has specifically for you?

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.  Philippians 3:14 (NLT).  The CEV says: I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done.  

Press is defined as follows:  to act upon with steadily applied weight or force.  To move by weight or force in a certain direction or into a certain position; To compress or squeeze, as to alter in shape or size;

Run is defined as follows:  to go quickly by moving the legs more rapidly than at a walk and in such a manner that for an instant in each step all or both feet are off the ground.  To move with haste; act quickly; To depart quickly; take to flight; flee or escape; To have recourse for aid, support, comfort, etc.; To make a quick trip or informal visit for a short stay at a place; To go around, rove, or ramble without restraint; To move, roll, or progress from momentum or from being hurled, kicked, or otherwise propelled.

It’s rather difficult to walk let alone run towards a goal if you don’t know where it is.  If you were an immature child with lots of energy I would imagine you would get a kick out of running around with nowhere to go, but if you’re in your teens or older, especially older: 1) from a physical standpoint you probably wouldn’t last more than 30 minutes running around aimlessly with no direction or 2) if by some slim chance you agreed to participate in the buffoonery of running aimlessly towards something you cannot identify would create so much anxiety you would quit or adjust yourself for a life full of aimless frustration.  Ironically that’s how many of us live our lives running aimless towards nothing because you have identified nothing.

I’m out of time, we’ll pick it up tomorrow.

In His New and Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Selah Pt. 2 - How Did You Get There?

  

During Yesterday’s blog we had multiple Selah moments.  We learned that the word “Selah” is only found in the Old Testament of the bible (specifically Psalms and Habakkuk). And we learned that its definition is somewhat controversial primarily because theologians, scholars, etc. cannot fully agree on the true definition.  Rather than completely abandon the word the three most common meanings can be combined to obtain clarity.  Those three meanings are to: 1) pause and calmly think about the statement or phrase preceding the Selah; 2) weigh the meaning of the information preceding the Selah; and 3) we should lift our hearts up in praise to God for His great truths. 

Yesterday’s blog was different from my “norm” as a series of questions were asked; several possible answers were shared and then there were instructions for intentional Selah’s – silence meant to cancel the noise of life.  Not necessarily other people talking but the noise of random thoughts, accusations, guilt, doubt, sabotage, etc. that imprison the gifts we stuff, bury and/or force to wait for a “magic day” that may never come if we don’t make the magic come.  We united together in spirit (at least those brave or “crazy” enough to participate – however you wanna call it) and we listened to our silence as uncomfortable as it was for 98% of us who jumped in head first without even thinking because, we are desperate for God, change and discovering our purpose. 

Tania Not Tanya moment:  During an impromptu “noise” exercise yesterday we opened our hearts, eyes and ears to the suggestion that God probably attempts to speak to us more often than we realize but he will not compete for our attention.  To hear from God we must be willing to bravely press mute on the internal and external noise we are so easily distracted by and remain in that state until we hear from him.  Hmmm, that requires patience, another discipline that some of us lack.  The challenge for many of us is that we are so afraid of the volume of our silence that we will do any and everything, including completely stepping out of character to avoid facing the noise our silence makes.  But that intentional silence allowed us to hear an all important question: “Where are you?”  If you weren’t on the Victory Call yesterday, this may sound like a whole lot of double talking gibberish, but I assure you that is not the case.    Selah (12 seconds)

Let’s go deeper shall we?  My question today is, How Did You Get Here?  Where?  Your current state, good, bad, ugly or in between.  How did you get where you are?  I hear you.  Do you really want me to believe you don’t know?  You may not want to admit it, but if you ask yourself that question and quietly wait for the answer, you will get one.  The problem for many of us is that we really don’t want to know because nine times out of ten, we are the reason we are where we are and if we admit that truth, it will utterly destroy our ability to blame others which means we will have to take the blame and most of us are not willing to accept responsibility for our life circumstances “down hemmm”.  Look at yo’ neighbor and say:  “she got that right.”  Selah (12 seconds)

I will ask again, how did you get there?  Where?  In debt.  Not just any debt because some debt is necessary. I’m talking about bad debt (e.g. unnecessary credit cards, pay day loans, gambling, etc.)  Did you really have to buy a luxury vehicle or could you opted for a more economical one?  Is it necessary for you to keep your subscription to Zappos, Shoedazzle, Shoebuy, JustFab, HSN, QVC when you know you have a weakness for shoes, clothes and things?  I’m sorry, let me keep it one ‘hunid’, you know you have an addiction to shopping but technology makes it far more convenient to feed the desire than physically driving to the mall.  How do you justify getting your hair, nails and toes done every week but you’re behind on your utilities or you don’t have enough food?  Do you have to have the Cadillac version of DirecTV, Dish, uVerse or Comcast? How many channels can you watch at once anyway?  What if you scaled back some of the paid channels and substituted TV for reading?  Selah (12 seconds)

How did you go from being a faithful church member to a bed warmer on Sunday mornings and you are physically fit with two cars in your garage?  OK so someone hurt your feelings, talked about you, sat in your seat, didn’t recognize all the work you do, sang your song, lied on you, the deacon tried to get in your panties, the preacher got somebody pregnant, the church mother stole the money from the chicken dinners, the usher cussed you out, shall I continue?  Is any of the stuff I just listed morally wrong?  Some of it is.  But here’s the thing.  We are all sinners who have been forgiven (including your pastors, 1^st ladies, bishops, church mothers) however, given the right set of circumstances we are all subject to sin.  We blow it sometimes and so do they.  Does that give people a free pass to live raggedy wretched lives, no?  As we mature spiritually our walk should be more refined making us less apt to fall spiritually.  The operative word is “SHOULD”.   That said, what does somebody else’s drama (including their rude behavior towards you) have to do with your personal, intimate relationship with God and you working out your soul’s salvation?   If you can’t work it (your salvation) out at your current church because of the drama, ask God to lead you to another one.  Selah (12 seconds)

My dear friends, you always obeyed when I was with you. Now that I am away, you should obey even more. So work with fear and trembling to discover what it really means to be saved.  God is working in you to make you willing and able to obey him. Do everything without grumbling or arguing.  Then you will be the pure and innocent children of God. You live among people who are crooked and evil, but you must not do anything that they can say is wrong. Try to shine as lights among the people of this world.  Philippians 2:12-15 (CEV)

Tania Not Tanya moment:  Stop worshiping the people and worship God, keep your confidence in him and his word.  Listen the sin that God is exposing with these Church Leaders should not surprise you.  For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.  Matthew 24:24 (NKJV)  Let no one deceive you by any means; for that Day will not come unless the falling away comes first.  2 Thessalonians 2:3a (NKJV)

Ladies, how did you get from a size 10 dress to a 32 and men from a 34 waist to a 52, in a year?  Did it have anything to do with your refusing to exercise; steady diet of fast “fried” food; fad diets; attempt to eat your drama away (hurt, anger, anxiety, frustration, guilt) or your refusal to press mute long enough to put the potato chip bag down and listen as your body screamed for help.  What do I mean:  shortness of breath, difficulty in standing or walking, chest pain, swollen ankles, constipation, knee, hip, ankle and/or back pain; buying a larger size every other month; prescriptions for high blood, high glucose, sleep apnea, heart challenges, etc..  Selah (12 seconds)

I challenge you, today, to give your silence legs, arms and a voice, allow it to become a meaningful noun so that you can get on with life.  Sweetie, ain’t you ty’d?  We are waiting on you, the longer you procrastinate the longer we have to suffer because you won’t fully show up.  Can you please stop?  We need you whole: spiritually, naturally, emotionally, and physically.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 2 (NKJV)

I'm out of time, we’ll pick it up tomorrow.

In His New and Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya

Where Are You?

After yesterday’s amazing declaration by Dionne The Radical Midwife, I felt like the Lord wanted me to talk about some of the granular things that take place to get us where we are.  When I went to Purpose yesterday the sermon was awesome but when he started to talk about the chain of events in his life that led to his call to the ministry and where he is today, I figured I would find another topic because several PFBCers are on “the Call” and I didn’t want to sound redundant.  During my meditation time and asking the Lord what he wanted you all to hear he gave me a gentle nudge in the spirit and he reminded me of something that I just said on Friday. I took a step back and realized I wouldn’t be redundant at all and that this topic is not an accident, it is one of those “purposeful moments.”

So what did I say last Friday that was relevant enough for me to actually remember saying it, because that my dear is rare?  Well I said several things after Marcus Dyson’s incredible Declaration, This Is For The Birds (http://marcusdyson.blogspot.com/) but the point I’m referring to is that when God says or lays something on your heart multiple times, especially when it’s back to back, he is clearly trying to get your attention.  Similar to Joshua 1:6-9 when he tells Joshua three times in those four verses to “be strong and courageous”. 

Today’s declaration is going to include several “Selah” moments.  The word “Selah” is found in two books of the Bible, but is most prevalent in the Psalms, where it appears 71 times. It also appears three times in the third chapter of Habakkuk. What does Selah mean?  There is no one agreed upon answer, so the best way to describe it is to list the three suggested meanings.  1) The Amplified Bible adds “pause and calmly think about that” to each verse where “Selah” appears. 2) When we see the word in a Psalm or in Habakkuk 3, we should pause to carefully weigh the meaning of what we have just read or heard (aka Meditate); 3) Lift up our hearts in praise to God for His great truths.  Ask him what he is saying, what he wants you to know.   “All the earth shall bow down to You and sing [praises] to You; they shall praise Your name in song. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that.  Psalm 66:4 (AMP).  Let’s go deeper.  

Tania Not Tanya Nugget:  I can almost guarantee you that each time you embrace the Selah, it will feel uncomfortable, but I challenge you to do it and at the end of the blog, evaluate your experience.  We did this exercise live this morning and it was enriching for those who fully participated.  Ready?  OK, let's go.

Where are you?  I mean physically, where are you right now?  If you are at work (own business) how did you get the job/business?  If you survived the economic downturn a few years ago or have any longevity past three years, how did you get there?  Is it your skill, charismatic personality, the lie you told, the idea you stole or was it the favor of God?  Is it what you know or who you know?   Selah (12 seconds)

·       If you’re at work, how many times have you arrived without realizing how you really got there (it was a blur)?  Is your routine so predictable that you complete it subconsciously -- fully awake, going through the motions?  You give it such little regard that you: text, apply make-up, shave; read hard copy items, eat with a spoon, respond to email.  Selah (7 seconds)

·       If you are at work (your business) how did you get there?  Do you complain about the job/business you fasted, prayed, cried, snotted and asked others to pray for?  Do you complain about your boss/employees, salary, type of work, commuting, type of transportation, etc.

If you are at home getting ready for … you fill in the blank.  How did you get there?  How did I get where?  Your living quarters whatever that looks like for you?  Selah (12 seconds)

• Is it the place you prayed for?  Granted it may not be a custom designed home, but again, is it the place you prayed for?  Do you honor God by keeping the interior clean?  Do you represent your Daddy well to the neighbors by keeping the exterior clean to the best of your ability (clutter and/or debris free;)? Monitoring your noise level? Doing your part to live in peace with your neighbors? 

Or;

• Do you complain about the location, size, age, the plumbing, electricity, etc.?  Do you compare your space to that of those around you, secretly envying (coveting) what they have?  Selah (7 seconds)

If you are married how did you get there?  Did you find, steal or are you borrowing him/her?  How is it that your marriage is good, bad or ugly?  Did you purposely work at it to keep it strong?  Did you find creative ways to make it bad (e.g. over spending, never listening, not loving enough, not submissive, etc.)?  Did you sabotage the marriage by complaining alllllllll the time, shutting your spouse down/out or did you find a complete replacement making it all bad?  Are you mean, hateful and selfish? If you are not happy, satisfied, fulfilled, how did you get there?  Selah (12 seconds)

As I prepare to end this blog, I'd like to invite you to consider this all important point, you are where you are for a reason, nothing just happens.  While you are there, may I offer a simple but powerful solution?  Are you sure?  OK, here goes:  Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.   1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (The Message) Wait, wait, don’t stop reading because you think I’m being insensitive to your “special” case.  I absolutely am not.  Don’t shoot the messenger, I am simply sharing what the Lord gave me.

If you are in a challenging situation the scripture above is not saying you have to like it,"be" happy or excited about it (the challenge).  On the contrary you can: 

• Make a choice to be “cheerful”, not about it, but "in spite" of it (the challenge), or 
• Make the choice to "be" mad, angry, depressed no matter what; never pray; curse God for whatever happens.  This way you are sure not to go where God wants you to be and having rejected him and his peace it will ensure that you will not live the way Christ Jesus wants you to live.   This doesn't take any effort at all, we are all experts of some sort of complaining, blaming and denying ourselves the opportunity to embrace the pain of where we are because it is simply easier to do so.  Why not do something different?

I'm Just Sayin....

I’m out of time, we’ll pick it up tomorrow.

In His New and Excellent Service

Tania Not Tanya