We
spent all last week doing some deep self-examinations as it relates to
ourselves but we took our time and included Selah moments so that we could
allow adequate time to analyze: Where we are; How we got there; If we planned
on staying and What we’re going to do, now that we were aware of ….. and/or
admitted the truth, if anything at all.
The
double edged sword to this work was though it is necessary in order to move
forward, it may have allowed things to surface that were ugly, nasty, stinky
things that we ignored, buried and/or denied, etc. for years. Some of us did so because it was the only way
we knew how to survive the drama we had lived through and so pretending that it
never happened or that it happened to someone else was a survival mechanism which
allowed us to keep our sanity, dignity and/or perhaps avoid the penal system. While I don’t want to focus on those parts of
our lives that we are not proud of, it was necessary to raise the issue briefly
because we cannot change what we do not acknowledge as Dionne The Radical
Midwife often says. Doing so will allow
us to begin the journey to The Other Side (of drama) which is a great place to
start this declaration.
In
October 2008, Carl was working as an IT Instructor at Five Keys Charter School with
the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department.
He was hired to teach digital literacy in the San Francisco County Jails
both men and women’s facilities at Mooreland Drive in San Bruno, CA and Seventh
Street Jails in downtown San Francisco.
I was working at Goodwill Industries as the Director of the Bayview Hope
Transportation Academy. Both of us were
passionate about engaging underserved individuals and making a difference in
their lives through the programs we ran and being living examples by the way we
spoke, carried ourselves, handled drama that they witnessed, etc. Ironically both of us could tell there were
some major shifts in the atmosphere taking place at work but we couldn’t
identify the actual drama. For example: 
Carl’s
class became so popular that there was a huge waiting list for it causing a
buzz throughout the jails and inmates literally looked forward to
attending. The bottom line was that in
the two years of his employment with Five Keys, Carl had never had an incident
in his classroom (e.g. no class fights or drama at all) even when “the people”
tried to instigate the drama, it was as if God always allowed him to discover
it before things jumped off. Secondly he
had such a command of his class that the inmates regulated each other and the
OGs checked the youngsters whenever they tried to get out of line because they
didn’t want to lose the privilege of attending his class which was an
elective. He didn’t have any issues with
the inmates his opposition came from “Po-Po”.
They did things like: placed known rival gang members in his classroom
and waited for the drama to jump off but it didn’t; He was left unattended when
a deputy is supposed to be outside his class at all times; Snitches were
planted in his classroom to try to discover “what was going” on in the class
and I believe some items had even been planted in his classroom.
The
drama I experienced at Goodwill was not quite as bad. Like Carl I didn’t really have any issues
with my staff or students, it was “the people”.
Why? What started off as a pilot program which I believe they thought
would most likely fail in a year or two, flourished instead. It became the most successful program
Goodwill had, so much so that they started to implement some of the criteria
that I had created in order to screen for the best training candidates. We consistently met our objectives:
enrollments, completions; job placement and retention and 85% of the program
was paid for through grants which meant Goodwill was spending very little of
its revenue to operate the program. The
problem was that a black woman was running a successful program offsite out of
their control and they couldn’t figure out how I was so successful. That
was never gonna happen because it wasn’t me, it was God. He honored my prayer when I asked him to
bless the program to succeed and flourish, not for my benefit but for the
benefit of the men and women that would be able to take advantage of the life
changing training, wrap around services and job placement that we offered. Mind you 54% of my students had been previously
incarcerated, some were former gang members, had been on Welfare for many
years, former substance abusers, etc.
Those were the people we targeted.
Like Carl, I didn’t have any real issues with my students and in those
rare times that I did, I terminated them and my staff always had my back like I
had theirs. There was no risk of them
retaliating because we operated on the Naval Shipyard down the road from the
San Francisco Police Department’s Special Tactical Unit. As in Carl’s case, they couldn’t figure out
the recipe for my success.
In
October 2008 Carl and I started praying consistently for God to open a door for
us to create our own nonprofit organization.
Carl is amazing at what he does, his people skills, etc. and I’m not bad
myself, but together, we are lethal.
What he lacks I make up and vice versa.
We began to pray for the resources and open door to start our own
nonprofit not knowing there would be some rocky roads ahead based upon our
request.
The
first major road we had to travel was when Carl was laid off in June 2010 and
though it was a blow to us I at least had a job, but we had to make some
drastic changes to our household. It
wasn’t easy but we were able to make the adjustment. I continued with work though I felt
uneasy. I knew it was time to start
looking for another job, but I didn’t have the energy. I didn’t want to start all over again but the
writing was on the wall that it was time to leave because I could see that they
were playing games, trying to get information from me that they previously
didn’t care about; wanting to have multiple site visits; direct access to our
off-site facility, etc. I gave them the
information I wanted them to have because I could hear the lies they weren’t
verbalizing based upon what they didn’t say or the way they didn’t completely
answer questions. I felt like I was playing a constant game of chess always
anticipating their next move.
The
second major road we had to travel was when things got heated for me at work
when I was laid off in July 2011 after 7-1/2 years of committed service to the
people I served, not necessarily Goodwill, they were simply a means to an end.
As
ugly as that part of our lives was it was absolutely necessary. Once I got passed the feelings of betrayal,
anger, and insult, I was able to think clearer on what I wanted to do with my
life. I thought seriously about school
but decided against it. After much
thought and prayer I felt led to take some time to figure out what I wanted to
do with the rest of my life. I knew I was bigger than a job that I was called
to do more than work for someone else that was not an option for me, but
what? I knew God was my source according to Matthew 6:30-33 (CEB) If God dresses grass
in the field so beautifully, even though it’s alive today and tomorrow it’s
thrown into the furnace, won’t God do much more for you, you people of weak
faith? Therefore, don’t worry and say,
‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we
going to wear?’ Gentiles long for all these things. Your heavenly Father knows
that you need them. Instead, desire first and foremost God’s kingdom and God’s
righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore,
stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each
day has enough trouble of its own.
I decided that I would exhaust every resource available to me including
food stamps, Medi-Cal, Keep Your Home California and the severance package that
Carl and I demanded the CEO increase or I would play my trump cards. Let me just say we reached an agreement and the
very woman that told me it couldn’t be done (severance package renegotiated) was
forced by the CEO to sign off on it and three months later that demon, I mean
my former boss was terminated herself, well they say she quit but that’s what
they say. For two years, I did exactly
what I wanted which was to get my feet wet as a consultant for churches.
Clearly I am laying a foundation for the
upcoming declaration. Unfortunately
though I am out of time, so we will have to pick it up tomorrow.
In His New Excellence
Tania Not Tanya
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