Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Misery is an Option Pt. 2

Yesterday’s declaration included two couples: 
·       Maritez, a BAB (born again Believer) committed to her faith and celibacy vow who was dating Chez the “too good to be true” perfect gentlemen; and
·       Roche who was engaged to the love of his life, Megan.  Both of them believed in God but because of past experiences made a conscious decision to abstain from organized religion.  Megan was killed by a drunk driver three weeks before their wedding date.

Let’s pick up with Roche who was obviously devastated by his fiancés premature death.  Instead of finalizing their wedding he operated in a fog assisting with Megan’s final arrangements.  Legally he didn’t have any say so about her final remains because he was not the next of kin, but her family was kind enough to allow him to participate in decision making.  Not of their own doing, but based on scheduling and the need to finalize Megan’s transition, the services ironically were held the day before their intended wedding date.  Everybody and I mean everybody that knew the couple was torn up behind this fact but there was literally nothing they could do.  Postponing the date wouldn’t make it any less painful and they couldn’t speed the process up because that was virtually impossible.  Because of the nature of death the coroner’s office had to conduct an autopsy and even with the chief of staff at California Pacific (where Megan did her residency) calling in a favor the earliest they were able to release the body was the week of Roche and Megan’s intended wedding.  

There are only 2 options: make progress or make excuses.Several weeks after the funeral Roche still couldn’t bring himself to stay at their home, the home that lived and breathed Megan.  She wore China Rain body oil and also used it when she washed the linen.  Every room in the house reminded him of her, especially the family room where they spent late nights cuddled up on the couch watching old black and white movies or playing board games.  With her direction he created the perfect backyard get away, a swing.  He chuckled to himself when he remembered how excited she was the very first time she sat on it and asked him to push her like a big kid.  She insisted on a swing because she loved to sit outside day or night (as long as it was raining) and lose herself in thought as she would wind down from a hectic day in the emergency department helping others. 

His brother Neal had driven him to the house because Roche’s therapist suggested he try to begin picking up the pieces of his life and Roche decided he would start with packing Megan’s belongings.  He resisted at first but the more he thought about it he knew she would have wanted him to donate her things to someone in need.  He decided on Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) because if he saw anyone in his circle with her items it would be more than he could handle.  To ensure that he followed through, he spoke with the Executive Director of MADD and committed to bring the items within one week. 

Neal opened the front door and a wave of nausea overshadowed Roche, his knees buckled, he turned pale and grabbed the door post to steady himself.  The tears gushed out of his eyes stinging his face like razor blades.  He tried his best to stuff the emotion but he couldn’t’ control it and right in the door way he melted to the floor and sobbed like a lost little boy.  Why God?!!!  Why are you punishing me?!!!  Why do you hate me?!!!! I can’t take it anymore?!!!!!  Neal never said a word and he never left his brother’s side as Roche sobbed and snotted on the floor.  Neal got right down on the floor with his brother, lightly placing his hand on his back for reassurance as his brother began the real grieving process.  They both cried, Roche for his Megan and Neal for his brother as he prayed silently for wisdom and strength. 

  
You are not to blame for others choices. A choice means the person had options. If and when needed you be the bigger person and NEVER blame yourself for someone else's decisions.In the meantime Chez and Maritez were entering another level of their relationship except Miss Maritez didn’t know it.  Chez was working on an assignment that required him to be in the Bay for the next six consecutive weeks.  Ironically it was during the prep time for finals.  Maritez found herself struggling and stressing about her business plan.  They had met several times at the Starbucks in Barnes and Nobles, but they were not always able to get a table.  This was one of those evenings.  Chez suggested that they go to his apartment literally one block away.  He was starving and she was hungry too so he gave her the keys to the apartment and told her he would grab dinner and meet her there shortly.  She agreed without thinking twice because she trusted him emphatically, he was after all the perfect gentlemen and besides, they were grown, spirit filled Christians, at least she was spirit filled, she wasn’t really sure about Chez, but he knew his bible and her stance on celibacy.  As she entered the apartment and made herself comfortable she heard a little voice whisper:  “And don’t let something you consider to be good be criticized as wrong. Romans 14:16 (CEB).  She turned around quickly to see if someone was in the room because it was just that clear and audible, but no one was there.  Her mouth got a little dry and she started to perspire so she went to the kitchen to get some water and a paper towel to pat her forehead.  She told herself she was trippin and that it was the devil trying to “guilt” her about something innocent.  Then she sold herself on the fact that Chez could be trusted and as she started to answer herself, Chez rang the doorbell.  She almost jumped out of her skin because she was in such deep thought. 

When Chez entered the apartment he saw the startled look on her face and asked if she was ok.  She laughed it off and assured him she was.  He had her favorite, crab won tons and Oh Long Seabass.  She didn’t realize how hungry she was.  They ate while they worked on her project and before she knew it, it was midnight.  She was clearly exhausted and knew she needed to leave but she was a little tipsy from the wine after dinner.  Chez spoke up and offered his bedroom, assuring her he would take the couch.  Initially she said no but the more he talked about how dangerous it was to drive tired and tipsy the more it made sense for her to stay.  She was angry with herself for drinking that second glass of wine, but it was so good.  She gave it a little more thought and considering the fact that it was a Friday night (now early Saturday morning) and she had workout clothes and toiletries in her car, she conceded.  Before he left to get her backpack from the car, he gave her a t-shirt and pajama bottoms to sleep in and sat out some towels so she could shower while he went to get her backpack from the car assuming it might make her a little more comfortable if he wasn’t in the apartment when she showered. 

....to steal from, lie to and cheat on.  Sweet or morally bankrupt? Chastity Middleton from flat rock Illinois this sound like you? You were just a fuck to him. You're so easy! Slut!Chez left and she took advantage of his huge glass sparkling clean shower.  Once under the power of the dual massage shower heads, she heard another whisper: Everything is permitted, but everything isn’t beneficial. Everything is permitted, but everything doesn’t build others up. 1 Corinthians 10:23 (CEB)  The tipsiness left instantly, she thought to herself, what am I doing butt naked in a single man’s shower.  She lathered herself quickly, dried herself off and was about to re-dress in her clothes when she heard Chez announce that he was back.  She stood in front of the mirror and asked herself what she was doing and then she heard an answer: “Mija, mija, esta loco?  Honey, honey are you crazy?  Chez is a perfect gentlemen, he ain’t trynna get no tail.  You trippin.  It’s too late for you to be driving home, you need to have several seats.  He’s sleeping on the couch and you’re gonna lock the door and sleep in here.”  After listening to herself, she agreed she was overreacting.  She was startled by the loud knock and Chez asking if she was okay.  She snapped back to reality and answered yes.  He told her the backpack was at the bedroom door.  She thanked him and quickly retrieved it, locked the door, put on the night clothes he gave her, said good night through the door and got in the bed by herself. He chuckled to himself, turned on the TV and let it put him to sleep.  Maritez on the other hand was awake almost the entire night, tossing and turning. 

I’m out of time, we’ll pick it up tomorrow.


In His New and Excellent Service


Tania Not Tanya


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