She's Driving Me Crazy

Have you ever been in such anguish that you wanted to give up completely?  Let's look at someone else who had a similar experience.

So Hannah ate. Then she pulled herself together, slipped away quietly, and entered the sanctuary. The priest Eli was on duty at the entrance to God’s Temple in the customary seat.  (1 Samuel 1:9)

Backdrop:  The bible is divided into two sections, the Old Testament (Genesis to Malachi) and the New Testament (Matthew to Revelations).  The Old Testament is known as the dispensation -- time – of the Law and the New Testament is known as the dispensation – time -- of grace.  Under the Law polygamy was a common and accepted practice

·       Polygamy:  having two or even more and they all live in the same house

o   Polygamy is against the law in many places, including the United States, however, several countries still practice polygamy without penalty

Some additional facts for that time period were:

·        It was considered a disgrace for a woman not to have children, especially sons. 

·        Barren (childless, sterile) was legal grounds for a divorce.

·        Pre-arranged marriages were the norm

Elkanah, his wives (Hannah and Peninnah), Peninnah and Elkanah’s children and their servants made the annual trek to Shiloh to worship and offer sacrifices.  This year was no different except Hannah was manically depressed, no appetite or concern for her appearance.  Elkanah, provided his family with more than enough food and always made sure Hannah got more than everyone else.  Though he meant well food didn’t fill Hannah’s void.  I am sure without question that his favoritism added fuel to the fire by enraging Peninnah who lashed out at Hannah by taunting her and Peninnah’s children participated too, at her direction. 

Taunt: a remark made in order to anger, wound, or provoke someone. provoke or challenge (someone) with insulting remarks

               What habits are you teaching your children?

Peninnah was a beast, she was jealous, mean and nasty.  I can only imagine how she talked to and looked down on Hannah.

My thought for today is: She’s Driving Me Crazy

This is my interpretation of Hannah’s state:  Hannah was a wreck emotionally and physically to the point it alarmed Elkanah enough for him to say something.  She was tired of feeling like she was crazy: no energy, no interest in anything, no appetite, weight loss, she couldn’t sleep, she was irritable, she couldn’t concentrate, her creativity was gone and all she wanted to do was sleep.  She was tired of being terrorized by that evil witch, Peninnah, and her kids.  Those kids were bad as homemade sin and on top of that they were ugly.  They were so bad they would tear up hell and kick the devil out if they had the chance.  Yes sir, she was sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

She snapped back enough to realize she needed help. Her last resort was to go to church and seek God.  Maybe seeking God should have been her first resort, but there was nothing she could do about the past because all she had before her was the present.  She refused to give up because something inside her would let her quit.  She believed God was the only one that could make the difference.  She got herself together and decided to slip away to church that night. 

I can imagine her getting dressed in her praying clothes: nothing too tight; too low; too short.  No sequence, clear church shoes or big church hats.  She put some gel on her hair and pulled it back into a bun.  She decided against putting on her church face (make up, eyelashes, etc.).  She put on her flats, got some Kleenex and was out the tent door.

As she walked to the temple with intentional purpose, she seemed to grow stronger.  She didn’t have to play games.  Her biological clock was ticking and she needed some help.    She was going to take care of business. Her intent was to pour her heart out to God and she expected Him to meet her there because expectancy is the breeding ground for miracles.  She picked up the pace and almost ran to the house of God.  

I don’t believe this was the first time Hannah prayed to God for a son, but this time was different.  I can just see her falling on her knees upon entering the Temple, feeling defeated and full to the brim with anxiety, sadness, confusion, desperation, etc. but having just enough hope not to give up.  The tears began to rush out of her eyes and down her beautiful cheeks like waterfalls as she cried and sobbed and cried before ever uttering a word.  Then she prayed:

Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably. Then she made a vow:  Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, if you’ll take a good, hard look at my pain, if you’ll quit neglecting me and go into action for me by giving me a son, I’ll give him completely, unreservedly to you.
I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.  It so happened that as she continued in prayer before God, Eli was watching her closely. Hannah was praying in her heart, silently. Her lips moved, but no sound was heard. Eli jumped to the conclusion that she was drunk. He approached her and said, “You’re drunk! How long do you plan to keep this up? Sober up, woman!”  Hannah said, “Oh no, sir—please! I’m a woman hard used. I haven’t been drinking. Not a drop of wine or beer. The only thing I’ve been pouring out is my heart, pouring it out to God. Don’t for a minute think I’m a bad woman. It’s because I’m so desperately unhappy and in such pain that I’ve stayed here so long.” 1 Samuel 1:10-16 (The Message)

She was so overwhelmed with God’s presence that all she could do was formulate words as she worshipped, though no sound ever left her lips.  It was as if she was intoxicated with the love and peace of God, so much so that the Preacher thought she was drunk.  When she explained her situation he was obviously embarrassed and then blessed her and told her God had granted her request.

Hannah fought for the manifestation of her prayer request so don’t think you won’t have to.  But Tania, I don’t know how to pray.  When I try I get sidetracked by the phone, the kids, I can’t stay focused longer than five minutes and my thoughts are all over the place.  My this, my that and the other …..  Are you having a ShaCwuda moment (shudda, cudda, wudda)?  Those are distractions to keep you from praying. 

I don’t care if all you can say is:  “JESUS, HELP ME!!!”  Over and over and over.

Sometimes that might be too long and all you can say is: “JESUS”; “JESUS”; “JESUS”.  Do you know there is power in the name of Jesus? 

What’s important is that you make a connection everyday with God.  For example:

Good morning Father (God).  It’s me. Just wanted to say hey and tell you I love you.  Thank you that I was able to wake up.  Thank you for all that you have given me.  I got a lot going on today.  I need you to help me (you fill in the blank).   In Jesus name Amen.

Hey God, it’s me again.  I had a (you fill in the blank) day.  It could have been worse, it could have been better.  I’m thankful that I am still alive.  I’m getting ready to go to sleep.  Just wanted to say good night.

Remember Hannah’s example:  Be intentional; tell God how great he is to you (worship him); surrender yourself to him in prayer, don’t hold back.  You can cry as much as you want and he will never judge you.

In His Humble Excellence